We were walking through the Lollipop Forest under a beautiful night sky lit by a bright, chocolate-chip moon surrounded by twinkling gumdrop stars.
“Why didn’t you tell me you wouldn’t be there?” Finally, I let myself ask the question.
She looked away and then back at me, but avoided my eyes. “I was there, dear, at least my primary subjective was, but I thought that you were the one throwing the switch. We all did.”
“But I checked with you not minutes before, and your body was on its way to the ballroom. What changed?”
Patricia looked up at the gumdrop stars. “Something with Uncle Vince.”
I angrily kicked at some lollipop sprouts. “I’m so stupid.”
Everyone had some last minute excuse, but in the end, it was my responsibility. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have seen it. Everyone’s physical metatags had properly indicated they were somewhere else, but I’d stopped paying attention to these a long time ago.
“You shouldn’t be beating yourself up so much,” Aunt Patty said gently. “You’ve done a wonderful thing for the world.”
“Yeah—I’ve given them something to never stop laughing at.”
The lollipop trees rattled as they jostled together on their spindly stalks. Aunt Patty suggested coming here for a walk, just like we used to do when I was just a little splinter-winky, but the place had lost its magic.
To cheer me up, she’d first tried taking me on a walk topside with Teddyskins, a reality skin that turned everyone around you into cute pink teddy bears. It was one of my favorites as a child, but I wasn’t a child anymore. Now all these cutesy worlds and spaces felt contrived and creepy.
“Don’t be silly,” she said, taking my hand and pulling my head into her. She always gave herself an ample motherly bosom and a sturdy frame in these childhood worlds.
My tears started again.
“You took the first step in bringing distributed consciousness to the world. You’re still so young. Your whole life is ahead of you.”
Now the tears came in great heaving sobs, and she let me, smothering me in her chest.
“Have you talked to David?”
“No, that’s over,” I choked out. “David was the reason I stayed at home physically for the launch. I felt so bad for always being away. We had a huge fight afterward.”
“What about Bob? Did you try him?”
I shook my head and the tears spilled down my face. “He dropped me a splinter, but he’s so stoned all the time. What’s the point?”
Aunt Patty stroked my head and then dried my tears. We walked on in silence, stepping gently through the lollipops.
15
Identity: William McIntyre
“Well you just bloody well better figure out a way to fix it, my friend,” Vicious growled right up in Jimmy’s face.
But Jimmy laughed and walked through his projection to pick up a file he was working on. Vicious sputtered indignantly.
The four of us—Bob, Sid, Vicious, and me—didn’t make a very threatening package. Jimmy had accepted our speaking request only as a courtesy to Bob. He didn’t seem concerned with the news. Then again, with the storms looming, and him being newly appointed to the Security Council, he had much more important things on his plate at the moment.
“I appreciate your situation, and I honestly feel for you,” Jimmy said after a moment, looking up from the file at me. “But I can’t do anything right now. I’m spread too thin as it is. I just showed Willy where the tools were, and, okay sure, I described how he could exploit some vulnerabilities, but so what?”
“This is half your fault, you can do better than that,” urged Bob. “Willy’s in serious trouble.”
“That’s an understatement.” Jimmy put down the file. “I’m really sorry about what’s happened. I was only trying to help Willy, to give him what he wanted.”
“Only to get what you wanted,” Sid pointed out.
Jimmy shrugged. “Aren’t friends supposed to help each other out?” He looked directly at Bob. “I mean, did you help him out? Did you even know how much financial trouble he was in?”
Bob looked away.
“I didn’t think so,” continued Jimmy. “Too caught up in getting stoned and partying with these idiots.” He motioned toward Sid and Vicious, still looking at Bob. “Too busy having a good time to even pay attention to your family, which includes me if you’ve forgotten.”
“Of course not,” said Bob quietly.
“You think I’m uncaring?” Jimmy looked around at us all. “Have you seen the way Bob treats Martin?”
Nobody said anything, but the words seemed to physically strike Bob. He rocked back on his feet a little.
“We all have problems.” Jimmy looked straight into Bob’s face. “We all have our pain to deal with. You don’t think I’ve had it hard? But I’m trying to become part of the solution.”
This was getting personal.
“This is my own fault.” I waved my hands in the air and stepped between Bob and Jimmy. “We’re not trying to blame anyone, I’m just looking for help.”
Jimmy shook his head. “The situation you’ve created is beyond me right now.”
Bob and I both nodded, but Sid wasn’t buying it. “Maybe we should go speak with police about your part in this.” He tried his best to appear intimidating, but it just wasn’t him.
“And maybe I should tell those same police about some of the viral skins you’ve been letting loose in the cyber-ecosystem,” Jimmy replied. “I’ve been watching you, my friend.”
“So what if he has?” bluffed Bob. “Willy’s problem goes way beyond any nuisances Sid’s toys create.”
“Maybe yes, but maybe no.”
“What does that mean?”
“Go ahead and tell the police that I was involved.” Jimmy ignored Bob’s question. “But I’m the one on the Security Council. And any chats I had with Willy were under tight security blankets, so it would be my word against his.” He let this settle. “Quite frankly, Willy being plugged through the perimeter and into Terra Nova, and us not being able to close the connection due to some legal nonsense, is a big problem.”
“Are you threatening to cut him off?” Bob demanded. “Where would he end up?”
“I don’t know, but definitely not here. Somewhere in the open multiverse I’d guess.”
This was tantamount to exile and brought cold stares from Bob and Sid.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“I just showed him the tools he asked about. Willy’s a big boy. He’s the one who did it.”
Stony silence.
“I really have to go. We’ll talk later, okay?”
Jimmy closed the connection.
16
Identity: William McIntyre
After the confrontation with Jimmy, the whole gang had rallied to help me.
The carpet of stars hung above us just as it had when we last camped at this spot. It seemed like it had happened in another lifetime. An owl hooted softly in the darkness. Bob sat with a beer balanced on his knee, half-illuminated by the fire, grinning at me.
I poked the embers and watched them dance.
“I told you everything would be fine.” Bob emphasized his point by raising his empty beer can.
I continued to stare into the fire, lost in my own thoughts. I imagined the heat of the sun warming green leaves of long ago, which soaked it up, slowly converting it into the lignin and biomass of the tree trunk. Then, after being stored for decades, that same captured sunshine radiated back out as heat energy when we burned the wood, warming my hands and face. That none of this was real didn’t detract from my daydreaming.