They entered the glamorous Italian pizzeria where many upper-class people had their lunch. Alexander and Lisa sat at a carefully laid table, holding glasses filled with sparkling champagne from the glow of crystal chandeliers, watching the endless stream of people arrive. They were a real motley crowd, filled with ambassadors and others embodying the elite—the ideal society. Immaculately dressed gentlemen and their companions, true to all the glamorous stereotypes, were present. Tables lined the ballroom, and on one end was a scaffold for the jazz band. Pleasant, soft music served as unobtrusive background noise to accompany the various gastronomic delights.
Lisa, almost devoid of any sparkly accessories, stood out from the number of matrons and nymphets of the upper class. She knew that strict observance of etiquette and the ability to maneuver in unexpected situations were valued above the veneer of good taste. Her blouse made her look quite well and feel confident.
While enjoying delicious food and laughing at the witty jokes of her companion, Lisa became distracted and looked on at the faces of the guests.
Trying not to lose the thread of conversation, Lisa reproached herself, for how could she not know in advance that Alexander was directly related to construction and his presence would surely be honored at this thematic assembly.
A man in Alexander’s position has seen a lot of worthless, selfish beauties in his life having been faced with a young and unspoiled open nature. This could push him to stay away from her, knowing how great the distance between them is. Or, perhaps, delighted with his discovery, he would stretch his arms out to her, drawn by an irresistible force. Only a roundabout man like Alexander could approach a woman like Lisa. These people do not have any particular method. They do not know how to win the youth’s favor, except in cases where the victim is in a difficult position. Like when a fly gets caught in a web and the spider begins negotiations, dictating their conditions, or when a naive girl, drawn into the maelstrom of the big city, is in close proximity to her hunter and he resorts to his art of seduction.
When Alexander met Lisa for the first time, he had hoped to spend the day in frivolous chatter and immediately forget about the acquaintance. But contrary to expectations, he met a woman whose youth and beauty captivated him. The meek light of her eyes and her shy demeanor in no way resembled that of the courtesans. He immediately realized that she had just made a mistake. Obviously some difficult circumstances pushed the poor creature onto his link. But at once Alexander ignited interest in Lisa. He was filled with compassion for her, though not without an admixture of self-importance.
After having a delicious dinner, they came out of the pizzeria.
“It’s time to say goodbye, Lisa. I hope you liked this trip,” Alexander whispered.
“I did. Thank you for this journey, Alexander.”
Now they stood at the crossroads near the cafe with their bikes. Her wavy hair flowed in the wind, and she looked at him with her huge sad blue eyes.
“I know your family doesn’t feed you well... This is for you,” Alexander said, pulling out a small iron box of chocolate dolls from his backpack. “Inside you will find fifteen chocolate dolls. Whenever you are lonely or bored in the evening, you can have one to remember me.”
“Thank you very much, Alexander! That’s so touching.”
Lisa returned to her host family and in the evening she opened the iron box and ate a little chocolate doll, thinking of Alexander again. Lying in her big bed and endlessly pawing at memories of past days, she still felt miserable and lonely.
I’m playing with fire—playing with him. How will this game end? I’m not going to think about it. I’m just going to enjoy my life, she thought.
She believed it would be better to move away a safe distance from each other after the crazy time that so cunningly imprisoned them in a dungeon of joint expectations.
Although Alexander exposed its dangers, his presence had a devastating effect on her feelings. His charm and caring interest made her more vulnerable. Lisa was somehow convinced that they were made for each other. That is the only justification for her actions, the likes of which she had never committed. Now she was in a situation from which there was no escape.
The former fear suddenly clenched Alexander’s heart. There had to be a way out of this web of circumstances. Perhaps she could just go back to the life she led before.
Lisa hovered uneasily from side to side, looking at the time and struggling to calm down. Her memories came flooding back that night. She was hopelessly obsessed with Alexander, though common sense told her that nothing good would come of it.
Lisa tossed restlessly in bed. She tried all the known ways to relax, but each to no avail. Her thoughts were only on one thing: Alexander.
Sensing that she was torn between many conflicting feelings, Lisa forced herself to sleep.
41
Since then, it seemed to Lisa like the days flew by and at the same time extended indefinitely. Alexander never ceased to surprise and delight her. She would lean her head to the side every time she asked another one of her countless questions. A smile would shed light on her face when Alexander finally gave her little details. There was a touching expression of boundless trust, which he read in her eyes, as she stood at the helm of his boat. And what joy he felt when Lisa said she would like to stand at the helm of his ship again as long as he stood beside her. Alexander felt a deep respect for her, and it helped him restrain himself. Pride filled him when, while walking along in the city, he caught the envious glances of other men and their frank admiration of the beauty of the girl who loved him. All of these feelings brightened every passing day, and the time flew by very quickly.
Lisa waited for the following Saturday. Before it came, Alexander wrote her an email.
From: Alexander
To: Lisa
Subject: J
Dear, Lisa,
I am very busy this week. We can meet some other week.
Kisses,
Alexander
Shortly after nine o'clock on Saturday, Lisa was again given half a loaf of black bread to eat and a mug of tea. She pounced on her bread and drank the tea with pleasure.
After having a short breakfast, Lisa went for a walk alone. Soon she was sitting on the bank staring at the crowd. The sun was shining, people were barbecuing, and children were laughing and playing outside. But Lisa sat there thinking of Alexander the entire time. She missed Alexander, but at the same time she felt doubt in her heart.
What was he doing on a Saturday? Who could he be spending his time with? How could I be fascinated with Alexander? How could I think he could love a poor au pair, that I could be something to him? I should be ashamed of my stupidity. Me, an unexperienced girl, rejoiced because of rather ambiguous signs of attention that he gave me. I’m so naive. I should hide my face and be ashamed. Alexander said something flattering about my eyes once, you blind doll. Look how stupid you are! No woman should be carried away by the flattery of a man if he is not intending to marry her. And mad is the woman who allows secret love to flare in her heart. For this love, unrequited, burns and nurtures the soul. And even if love is found and divided, like wisps, it will lead you into a deep quagmire from which there is no escape. I should place a mirror in front of myself to draw my own portrait truthfully, without mitigating any imperfections. I wouldn’t miss a single sharp line, and I would title it “Portrait of an Au Pair: A Lonely, Poor, Underprivileged Girl.”
She continued in deep thought. Besides, you don’t really want to have anything to do with Alexander. He simply wants the company of a young lady. I’m sure this is the only connection he is ready to recognize. So I shouldn’t make him the subject of my tender feelings, frustration, and despair. He is a man of another caste. Stay in your circle, and respect yourself enough to not give all the forces of your heart and soul to a man who does not need it and would only cause problems.