After breakfast, Lisa cleaned the table carefully and went to the kids.
While Lisa was taking care of them, she heard the following conversation in the kitchen.
“I see you found the right babysitter,” she heard the grandmother say with an indifferent tone. “Why did you decide to take this third world au pair?” she whispered to Clara.
“I do not know. But she is a very good person and she speaks several languages. That is why I hired her,” Clara said, on Lisa’s behalf.
They did not know that Lisa was in the next room, and she overheard the conversation. Her ears rang, and she leaned against the wall to keep from falling. Her good mood evaporated.
She left the room and took five steps before she heard.
“Why did you order a babysitter from a poor country? Well, you are original!” the grandmother added.
Perhaps it really was original— bringing a poor au pair into a respectable house and calling her “a family member,” and not talking about it aloud, knowing that she could enter at any moment. Where are her upbringing and manners?
Lisa could not believe her ears, and she tried to hide her tears from the kids. She continued doing her duties and playing with kids. After six hours, in the evening, she turned to go back to the kitchen and found herself facing Clara, who was carrying an expensive pink champagne bottle into the living room, enjoying the life without annoying, loud kids. She looked at exhausted Lisa and asked, “What's the matter, Lisa? Are you Okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine.” Lisa felt that at least for a minute, she needed to be alone. She apologized that she had to go to sleep early, and quickly left the room. Shut up in the bathroom, she turned on the water and burst into tears. She had to succumb to bitterness and resentment. She cried for a while, her cheeks streaked with tears. Shaking with emotions, she could not understand .,hatred, self-hatred, desperation...
Then she washed her face and went to her room. Sitting down at the dressing table, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her image in the mirror was pale and ruffled.
“This woman just smiled so nicely with her Hollywood style smile at me, but she despises me. I am taking care of their kids twenty-four hours a day, while she is drinking pink champagne. I am the only person who educated the kids. The only gratitude I receive is their despise because I am poor?”
That was the day her whole world went black. Lisa laid up in bed and stared at the walls in the house. This night Lisa could not fall asleep for a long time, crying in her pillow.
10
One day, Lisa entered the kitchen to see her host father was cooking some rice. He seemed like he was in an exceptionally good mood as well. This excited Lisa, who rarely saw the host parents at all.
“If you're hungry Lisa, you're welcome to eat some rice,” he announced, noticing her in the doorway. Lisa smiled.
“Thank you very much.” She headed towards the host father. He continued stirring the rice in the pot.
“You can eat it with some ketchup. Or some mayonnaise if you'd like,” he offered, looking over at her. She nodded, looking into the pot. There was enough rice for the whole family. She assumed he must have been making dinner. It was nice of him to include her in the dining plans.
“Okay,” she answered, unsure of how to feel about her condiment choices.
“You can eat rice for days and days,” he added. “Look at how much I've made for you!” He seemed excited as he showed her the pot. She realized this was not a meal for the family. It was just for her. She was expected to eat nothing but rice for weeks. It seemed the host father thought this was exciting for Lisa. He believed that in her country, people worked for a cup of rice a day. To see a pot overflowing must have made her feel rich and wealthy. He was incorrect, but Lisa knew not to try and correct the host parents. She smiled, nodding her head again.
“Thank you,” she answered, dulling the enthusiasm. She wasn't excited about eating rice for days or even weeks straight. It wasn't healthy. That night, the host family went out to a lavish dinner, leaving Lisa at home. The only sound in the house was the constant creaking of the mansion and the sound of Lisa's own thoughts.
She realized that she was entirely dependent on the host family. She hardly had the courage to ask for food and had to simply wait to be offered anything to eat. This was hard, since she was hardly offered anything extra. The host family seemed rather judgemental every time she even looked at the food other than her own. The host family counted how many slices of bread she ate, watching her as she tried to enjoy her food. There was only the one shop in the village, that was hardly enough to buy any extras. Every once in a while she was able to buy herself a chocolate bar, but it was rare. The only other items in the shop were flour and sugar. It was too small to offer much of anything else. Lisa wasn't even allowed to open the refrigerator unless she asked permission first. One time, she forgot and looked inside. The children immediately spoke up.
“You're not allowed to open the refrigerator without our permission. It's theft!” They would yell. Lisa was growing weary of these children. Each day they seemed more and more outrageous towards her. They were always reminding her that she was nothing more than a slave.
Lisa was strongly questioning the “free board and lodging” that she had agreed to. It seemed her host family was very sensitive when it came to her use of anything. She was always allowed to sit at the table with the family, but she never ate the same food. Instead, she was given the bread from the day before that was slightly stale.
One morning, she asked if she might have a little bit of honey for her bread. At that moment, six pairs of eyes stared at her like she had asked the most obscene question, as if Lisa dared to want to eat things that did not come with an au pair’s status. It was like they were shocked she would dare to ask for more than she was given. She wondered if this was the way they treated their other “family” members.
Sometimes the food was on the table and was divided within the shortest possible time to seven people. If something remained, Lisa was allowed to eat it. Of course, that was not much.
Once, the host family ordered pizza. Each child got a whole pizza.
“And Lisa? Will she also get a pizza?” Only the oldest girl Julia remembered her.
“She can have a piece of your pizza,” allowed the host father.
“But not from mine!” shouted Nick and he immediately began to destroy his pepperoni pizza.
“Okay, I do not like hot peppers. Lisa, you'll take this piece with pepperoni,” Nataly offered her generously.
So Lisa was expected to eat only a small slice of pizza after two hours of cycling.
Instead of begging all the time, Lisa was satisfied with what she got. She also no longer cooked on her own initiative, and opened the refrigerator only with permission. Even if she had a cooking idea, the parents were often just not there in order for her to ask for permission to cook. Nobody was grateful anyway for her efforts to prepare fresh, healthy meals. On the contrary, it was perceived as an unpleasant attack on their own habits. The family subsisted mainly from prepared dishes and was satisfied.
The children sometimes separately stressed that Lisa was “not allowed to use the refrigerator,” “not allowed to open this chest,” and “not allowed to touch this thing.”
Lisa decided to buy food herself. On a rare occasion, Lisa decided to head into the village. She wanted to buy herself something to eat that was hardy and delicious. She deserved a treat, after all. In the village, she only found one shop. There wasn't a lot of variety in the shop either. It was small. She browsed through the limited selection and decided on a Snickers bar. She loved chocolate. She thought about coming into the village once a day to grab something. But, she couldn't eat a Snickers every day. She would get diabetes, or at least very ill. Especially since she wasn't eating real food with her host family.