Jaax gave a rueful smile. “Oh no, he’s been around for a while. He was just absent before we arrived.”
Jahrra could tell Jaax was trying to avoid telling her something and she had a good idea of what it was.
“Yes, I noticed he holds a certain animosity towards you,” she said cautiously, addressing his first statement.
Jaax snorted in disgust and turned towards the fire. “It’s no secret that Rohdann despises me.”
“Because Shiroxx does not,” Jahrra braved.
Jaax shot her a scathing look over his shoulder but then his face softened. He merely nodded and turned once again towards the fire, accepting at least a little truth to that comment.
“So then his behavior should be mostly attributed to his defense of Shiroxx?” Jahrra suggested. “Are his threats empty ones or should I really worry?”
Jaax turned his head back towards Jahrra, his face serious. “I would not take anything Rohdann says lightly, and I will know exactly what he said to you, both inside the hall and out on the plaza.”
Jahrra sighed then nodded wearily.
“Now tell me, please.”
Jahrra sat back down in her chair with a great yawn, but told Jaax what had happened and what the black Tanaan dragon had said to her.
“He didn’t threaten me at first, he only tried to rattle me by insulting you,” Jahrra glanced up at her guardian but Jaax merely gazed back indifferently. She took a breath, continuing on even though she felt horribly uncomfortable. “It was outside, when I was gathering Phrym, that he threatened to ruin me.”
Jaax hissed in a breath of anger and irritation, releasing it in a string of Krueltish curses. Before he could fully express his feelings, however, Jahrra put up a hand and continued, “That’s not all. Like Kehllor said, I threatened him back.”
Jaax stopped his grumbling and gave her his full attention once again. She gave the dragon a sheepish grin and shrugged.
“Why should he be the only one using his position to throw around insults? I simply told him that if he continued to threaten us then I would use my influence as Ethoes’ chosen to ruin his reputation as well.”
“Us?” Jaax queried.
Jahrra nodded. “He implicated both of us with his words, but I made it clear that he could bring down just as much damage upon himself should he make good on his threats.”
“Like a sinking ship sucking those trying to escape down with it,” Jaax said, almost in a murmur.
Jahrra heaved a great breath. She was absolutely exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but there was one more thing she wanted to say and she wanted to do so while she still had the nerve.
“Jaax, why do you worry so much about me? I’m quite capable of dealing with the insults thrown my way. And even if I’m not, I need to learn to stand up for myself. Shiroxx and Rohdann won’t be the last people to wish me ill.”
Jaax cast her a sidelong look. “Oh, I have no doubt you can stand your ground against them. You proved that last night.”
“Then what is it? What had you so worried that you forgot to get angry at me as soon as you saw me this afternoon?”
“Because there are so many other dangers out there Jahrra that you can’t even begin to imagine, dangers that I cannot protect you from, dangers that can reach you if you venture too far from familiar ground.”
Jahrra sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. “But I’m not completely helpless, you know. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m more then capable of defending myself.”
Jaax laughed, not a very strong laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “So you never worry about your friends? You never worry about Phrym, despite the fact that he is most likely tucked snuggly away in the stables, or Gieaun and Scede, though they are safe back in Oescienne?”
Jahrra shivered, the mention of her childhood friends so soon after discussing them with Denaeh a little to ironic at the moment. Of course she worried and of course Jaax would worry. She was his responsibility and everyone fretted about what they were responsible for, whether that person or animal or item were in jeopardy or not. She just wished that Jaax would worry less since her well being seemed to be the major cause of his weariness.
“So you see, I worry about you a great deal,” Jaax continued, his tone of voice more serious now, “whether you are in class or upstairs working on a school assignment. Imagine what I must have felt when I came home to find you missing when you should have been here, especially with your tendency to run off and do something foolish.”
Jahrra glared at him. “I do not have a tendency to run off and do foolish things.”
Jaax gave her an incredulous look. “Oh is that so?”
Jahrra stubbornly held her ground, her nose raised with an air of haughtiness.
“The Ninth Cove, the Great Race, the Belloughs of the Black Swamp . . .” Jaax purposely let his voice trail off.
“Those incidents happened several years ago and I haven’t done something so unwise since,” Jahrra insisted.
She winced with the very next breath she took. Unless you count the time Torrell and I encountered the Mystic, or last night when I snuck into a meeting I wasn’t supposed to attend and then after the meeting when I took Phrym for a long ride . . .
“You asked for a reason why I worry, I’m just being thorough. Besides, am I to believe you never worry about me?”
The question was innocent enough but Jahrra wondered if Jaax would be looking for something else in her answer. Besides, she had admitted as much when they were in Crie, when her guardian had been angry at her for disappearing for the day. Yes, she had told him then she had worried about him, but for some reason it didn’t seem that this question was the same. As if worrying about him now, now that they knew each other so much better than before, meant more than it did in Crie. Best to tread carefully here.
She took a breath and said, “Why should I? You’re a Tanaan dragon trained in warfare. You have survived hundreds of years as a known supporter of the goddess.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
Jahrra furrowed her brow. Why was this so important? Did she ever worry about Jaax? Yes, but not in the way he worried about her. She tried to think of a way to tell him without admitting to defeat but came up short. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders and decided to be as honest as she could, even if it meant putting a dent in her pride. It would be a whole lot easier just to tell him that yes, she worried about him, just as she had done in Crie, but that wasn’t entirely true. Jahrra swallowed and took a breath, bracing herself for a smug reaction from her guardian.
“I don’t worry about you,” she finally said, “so much as I worry about what you think of me.”
There, she’d said it. After the death of her parents she had hated this dragon, hated him and wished him ill in every way, shape and form. If she could visit her younger self at this moment and tell the Jahrra from ten years ago that she would one day worry about what the conceited Raejaaxorix thought of her actions and words, she would have laughed in her own face and called her all kinds of unsavory names, liar being the most prominent.
But so much had changed since then. She had lost more than she could ever imagine, had learned things she never thought possible, had faced dangers beyond her comprehension, and all along the way, Jaax had been there. An annoying, overbearing presence most of the time, yes, but beneath that prickly surface he had never doubted her, never abandoned her and he had always managed to keep her heading in the right direction, even in the darkest parts of her life. So yes, Jaax’s good opinion had become something of grand significance to her, something she hoped never to lose; something she needed even.