The line was short; people probably had the same thought Nix had about ice cream and the time of year. “I'll take a lemon cone,” I said, pulling out my wallet. “And give her whatever she wants.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Vanilla. In a cup, please.”
The clerk rang us up, handing the treats over. “That'll be five dollars.”
“Don't say I never spoiled you,” I chuckled at Nix.
The pearly shine of her teeth went ever brighter under the Christmas lights. “Oho, big spender.”
Carrying our snacks, I led her up the escalator until we found a far corner of the mall. The ceiling arched high above, ornaments dangling on gold chains and twinkling with their reds and silvers.
Sitting on the bench, I licked my ice cream. It was a burst of tartness on my tongue. “Man, that's good.”
“It's pretty amazing,” she sighed. “I love desserts. My mother hates that I love them, which makes me like them more.” Her smile was contagious. “Hey, I have something I wanted to ask you.”
“Shoot.” I nibbled the edge of the waffle cone.
“Your dad is having that Christmas party this weekend. Right?”
My back popped as I sat taller. “Wait, were you invited to that catastrophe?”
“Apparently. Is it going to be that terrible?”
Not once had I attended my father's company parties. But if Nix was going... “That depends. Will you be wearing something holiday themed, like a cocktail dress made of mistletoe?”
Her laugh was a shot of espresso into my nervous system. “If that's what it takes to salvage the party, I'll consider it. Are you... you know, going to be there?” Ducking her head, she stared intently into her ice cream.
“I might swing by.” Winking, I turned the cone in my hand. “Is that what you wanted to ask me? If I was going? Baby, you don't need to be so subtle, come right out and say you wanted me by your side.”
Chewing her bottom lip, she shifted on the bench. “Actually, I was going to ask if my brother could come.”
A drop of melted lemon hit my knee. “You have a brother?”
“Half-brother, but yeah. Gram works at Halloway Inc. You didn't meet him yet?”
My shrug was quick. “Huh. Older or younger than you?”
“Why does that matter?”
I reached over, dipping my finger into her ice cream, then licking it off. “I want to know if he's a puppy-dog younger brother, or the older type that will try to kick my ass when he hears that I hooked up with his sweet sister.”
She hit me in the shoulder. “That's none of his business, don't you dare tell him. He wouldn't hurt a fly, anyway.”
Grinning, I wiped my hand on my napkin. “What, you're saying he never chased off any guys when you were younger?”
“No.” She hesitated, turning the yellow spoon in her fingers. “He didn't have the chance. I didn't meet him until I was eighteen.”
“What?”
Staring into her cup, she stirred the vanilla slowly. Her voice was far away. “It was a huge shock when he showed up. Turns out Dad hadn't been so faithful. My mother went nuts. Attacked him, screamed, the whole works.”
Disgust bit deep into my heart. A father who betrayed his family? Yeah. I knew that story.
Nix was shrinking into the bench, knees tucking to her chest. She looked like she was trying to disappear. Reaching out, I cupped her knee—she twitched.
“It's alright,” I said gently.
Her face smoothed, as if I'd comforted her. “I don't know why I'm telling you this.”
“You don't have to.”
“I know. I just... I guess it feels good to share it, finally.” Switching her crossed ankles, she smiled at me sadly. “My mother hates Gram. Right from the start, it was like she wanted to wish him out of existence.”
“Why does he work at your company, if she hates him so much?”
“That was Dad's decision. I guess he felt guilty for hiding Gram away, ignoring him. That doesn't stop him from treating Gram like he's a living scarlet letter, though, when he's the one who fucked up.”
“That's terrible,” I said softly.
She watched me, as if trying to believe my sympathy. “Now we get to pretend to be one big, happy family. Mom despises Dad for cheating on her, but she refuses to divorce and let the world see their sham marriage for what it is. He can't leave her because he's weak. Gram just tries to stay invisible.”
“And you?”
Her eyebrows lowered. “Me? I do what they want. I always have. Taking care of what they ask me to... it's all I'm good for. Even now.”
The memory of her talking in her sleep stabbed me. That night, she'd mumbled something similar.
A life of doing what people want you to do. That was the life I'd run from. Nix had stayed.
Both of us were fucked up.
Which path is better? Running, or being a martyr?
Standing, she headed towards a trashcan. “This is all melted, I'll be right back.” The stiffness in her shoulders was obvious, even from behind.
She put up with all of that? Her and I had much more in common than I ever realized.
“Abram,” I said when she sat beside me again.
“What?”
“My name. My father still calls me it, even though I hate it, because that's the kind of man he is. He wanted me to become a grand, powerful leader of his company. But that's not me. It never could be.” My smile was cold as a corpse. “He was never good at hiding his disappointment.”
Nix furrowed her brow, and I had to wonder what was going on behind her lovely eyes. “Is that why you... do what you do?”
I didn't want her looking at me like that. I wasn't some victim, I didn't need to be psychoanalyzed.
Smiling as wide as I could, I pushed myself to my feet. “Who knows! I just wanted you to see we share the fun tradition of nick-names. Come on, let's get out of here.”
Tradition. Hah. Calling myself Abell had been about sticking it to my father, claiming something for myself. Nothing I'd done growing up had been good enough for him.
But Nix was wrong.
The final straw that led me into debauchery had been something else entirely.
That day in the hospital was a brutal memory. I never wanted to think about it again, and the only way to run from the moment where I'd finally discovered the cruelty of the world, was to bury myself in throbbing flesh and forgettable faces. I didn't want clarity, I wanted to drink and fuck.
I wanted to not care.
My talent is not giving a shit.
Except Nix had proven that wrong about me.
She was proving everything wrong about me.
As we exited the mall together, I felt her staring. I didn't dare look down at her.
I was too afraid of the pity in her eyes.
- Chapter Eight -
Nix
“Excuse me? Miss Halloway?”
I knew the man was talking to me, but I was busy gawking at the house—the mansion—that towered ahead.
White lights were draped around pillars, the entrance way, the delicately trimmed bushes... everything. It was a gorgeous home.
Who needs a place this big?
A car horn blared behind me, making me jump. “Ma'am?” the valet coughed. “People are waiting to pull up, you need to get out of the car.”
Focusing, I put my gloved hand in his, letting him help me out of the backseat. Everything smelled fresh, juniper tickling my nose. Here we are. I'd almost backed out, but in the end, my temptation had been too strong.
I wanted to see Abell again.
He'd been acting so strange when we'd left the mall. He wouldn't look at me, and when he talked, it was disconnected. He's always like that, I'd tried to tell myself. Except I knew that wasn't right.