The Birthing House

Conrad trotted down the stairs, leaving a path of lights on as he went. The stove clock read 4.13 a.m. The dogs scrambled out of bed to join him in this new adventure.

But by the time he made it outside and to the edge of the garden, she was gone. He tried to imagine a woman in a long dress scrambling over the six-foot fence bordering the entire back half of the property, but it wasn't working. The late-night numbness lifted all at once and Conrad became frightened all over again. He padded up the flagstone path in bare feet, detouring to the Grum residence on his way home.

He knocked and waited. And knocked and waited.

One last rapping tattoo on the door and then he would give up before someone called the cops. Twenty seconds passed. As he passed their front bay window, he saw a curtain drop and blonde hair on the retreat.

'Nadia?' he whisper-shouted. 'It's just me. Conrad.'

He was still standing there feeling like a peeping Tom when the front door opened. She pushed the screen door with one hand, subconsciously caressing the orb of her belly with the other, leaning out as if she didn't trust the porch with her bare feet. She was squinty-eyed with sleep.

'Hey, Nadia, sorry to bother. Were you just out back?'

'I was sleeping, Conrad.' She became alert mid-yawn. 'Why?'

'I, uh, just wanted to make sure you were okay.'

He noted the small blonde hairs stiffening on the gooseflesh of her upper thighs, just below the hemline of her boxer shorts.

'I'm supposed to be watching the place,' he said. 'Doing some chores--'

'They don't trust me to be alone.'

'Oh, no, it's not--'

'It's fine. I get it.'

He smiled at that. 'Yeah, good night, Nadia. Sorry again.'

As he retreated, she said, 'Conrad?'

'Yeah?'

'Think you could give me a ride tomorrow? Or today, I guess it is.'

'Sure.'

'To Madison?'

'What time?'

'Uhm, like ten? It won't take long, maybe just an hour there and back, maybe fifteen minutes there?'

'No problem.'

'I'll pay for the gas.'

'No, it's the least I can do after scaring you.'

'You didn't scare me.' She gave him a tired smile.

'You don't scare very easily, do you?'

'Not any more.'

He told himself opening the car door for her was more an acknowledgement of her condition than an act of chivalry. Her white hair and whiter skin were glowing in the sun, illuminating the blue veins in her cheek. She wore a knee-length pleated skirt and plaid Tommy wedges, and a snug, navy-colored long-sleeve top. The top slenderized her arms and made her look more pregnant than she had five hours before.

She carried a pink and white Puma sport bag that was either a large purse or small duffel, its contents as much a mystery as their destination.

'Morning,' he said.

'Hey,' she said, sinking into the Volvo.

In the car, her scent. Like she had spilled vanilla extract on her shirt. Made him think of ice cream. Milkshake girl. It was going to be a long ride.

'Thanks for doing this,' she said, doing her lipstick in the visor mirror.

'No problem.'

'Oh, do you know how to get there?'

'You'll have to tell me where we're going once we get near Madison.'

'Right.'

She offered no more details. He figured doctor's visit and wondered if she would want him to come in or wait in the car. Conrad merged from the town's business loop on to the entrance ramp to Highway 151. He locked the cruise control at seventy-two.

'So,' he said, testing the waters. 'I ran into your old neighbors at Wal-Mart the other day. Mrs Laski and her . . . kids. What's up with them, right?'

Nadia nodded without interest.

'Did you know them?'

'I used to sit for them.'

'Really? How was that?'

'I'm glad they moved.'

'Why do you say that?'

'Their kids were difficult.'

'Yeah, I can imagine. They had, what, three? Or more? Because your parents seemed confused--'

'Can we not talk about the Laskis, please?'

'Sure.' Bingo.

A small herd of alpacas grazed in a field. Conrad could swear one looked at him as they drove by.

A while later she said, 'Do you miss Los Angeles?'

'I miss the food. In-N-Out burgers. Chicken tacos at Baja Fresh. Not much else.'

'I thought LA was fun?'

'It was, for a while.'

'Why did you choose Wisconsin. You have family here?'

'No. It just seemed to be everything LA wasn't. It's quiet.'

Nadia blew air though her mouth. 'It is quiet.'

A minute passed.

'I don't know why I'm telling you this,' he said. 'But here. Okay, why we left Los Angeles. We're not doing so well, Jo and I. I went back to Chicago a couple months ago. My father died in an accident.'

'Oh, God.'

'No, it's not a big deal. Really.'

Nadia frowned.

'That's not what I mean. I'm sorry he died. But he was never around. He was a stranger to me. I just - anyway. I wish we would have had a chance to do it differently, but he made his choices. But when I got home, a friend of ours was there. With Jo.'

'Were they . . . ?'

'She says no. But I think yes.'

'So that must have sucked royal.'

'Yeah. But the thing is, I wasn't surprised. Or I was, but only for a minute. I kind of knew something was wrong. And I'm no saint myself.'

'What did you do?' Nadia's eyes were very wide. Like maybe she was thinking she'd rather not be in the car with him just now.

'I didn't do anything. Really. But I thought about it. There was a girl I worked with.'

'She was your friend, or you just worked with her?'

The cruise control was holding steady. He steered with the heel of one palm. There were no cars behind, in front, or beside them. The way the wagon pulled them along, it wasn't even driving. It was like being on a ride.

'I thought about it a lot. We came very close to doing something very stupid. But we didn't.'

'Uh-huh.'

'No, Nadia, really. I didn't. I could have. We hung out a little, went for some drinks after work. From the bookstore. We had dinner once and went back to her place, and I know she was interested in me, despite my situation.'

'Was she a total slut?'

'No. She was really normal, I think. I didn't stick around to find out.'

'Does your wife know?'

'I don't know. I don't think so.'

'But?'

'But she knows something.'

'Why didn't you tell her after you caught her and this other guy?'

'I just wanted it to go away. Do-over. Off-setting penalties.'

'What's that, football?'

'Yeah.'

'Nice.'

'I know. It sounds crazy now. But I gave her a choice. Either we stayed and fell apart or we moved and started over.'

'Starting over. Yeah. No, I bet she knows.'

This alarmed him. 'Why do you say that?'

'We're smarter than you think.'

'No, I have known for some time that my wife is smarter than me.'

They ticked off a couple more miles of farmland in a cocoon of comfortable anti-conversation before she said, 'Speaking of starting over, you're taking me to the airport.'

'What?'

'I'm going to stay with some friends in Seattle.'

He looked at the pink Puma bag on the floor. 'Does Mom know?'

'No, and you're not going to tell her, right?'

'Shouldn't I?'

Nadia leaned over, close enough for him to smell the smell of her under the vanilla. 'She would never blame you. She'll say it's typical.'

Conrad pulled off the highway and parked on the shoulder. He turned off the ignition.

'What's wrong?' Nadia sat against the door, facing him.

'You can't just leave,' he said.

'Why not?'

'Because it's not a good time.'