The Birthing House

'That sounds pretty bad. What did you do?'

'I put them to bed and waited for the Laskis to come home. I tried to convince myself it wasn't possible. But it was. I was hungry, too. Like I hadn't eaten for a week. And my mouth was dry. I was so thirsty. I was dying of thirst.'

She paused, watching him.

He was thinking about iced tea. 'That could have been panic. Don't people always need water when they are in shock or something?'

Nadia drank more water and they sat in silence.

'Is that it?' he asked. 'Did you go back?'

'No. I didn't want to babysit for them again anytime soon. I stayed in my room, went to school, and tried not to think about the dolls. And I did forget about them. But then, very slowly, something changed. I tried to stay away, but eventually I missed them. I had to go back.'

'You felt bad for what happened? You wanted to make it up to the kids?'

'No. I had forgotten all about the kids.'

'I don't understand.'

'I started hearing voices. The same ones I made up, but saying things I never said. They just came to me. They were all different and they weren't mine any more. They were their own voices.'

'The kids?'

'Not the kids. I wasn't missing the kids. After a few weeks, I missed the dolls.'

'What did they say?' But he didn't really want to know.

'Lots of things that didn't make sense. Most of it I forgot as soon as it happened, like waking up from a dream. But one thing I kept hearing in the girl doll's voice. Chessie, the one I played with, the one with the dead straw hair. I heard her in school, in the middle of the day, reading my algebra book. She called out to me in that high voice. 'Come back. Mommy, come back. Doctor gonna kill baby you don't come home soon.'

20

The following afternoon, Conrad finished mowing the Grums' lawn just before the rain started. He waved at her through the front window and pointed at his house. Nadia nodded and waved - yeah yeah, I know.

The afternoon gave way to dusk and she had not come back. He flipped through a couple of Jo's house magazines and debated the wiser of two options - go back to the Grums' and try to get her to open up on her home turf, or call his wife - until he drifted off. He was just about to slide over the cliff when someone started knocking on the door, pounding like they'd been there a while.

When he opened it, Nadia was headed back across the porch.

'Hey, I'm home. Sorry.'

She turned around slowly, clearly disappointed she had not been able to sneak away.

'Sorry. I nodded off. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me,' he said, leaving the door open.

'I need the money.' She followed him inside.

'Have you eaten dinner?'

'No. I'm starving.'

He was sensing a pattern. 'What are you in the mood for?'

'Something with cheese. I'm craving cheese.'

Dinner was a frozen pepperoni pizza and more iced tea. She said sorry, she got really grouchy when she was this hungry. They ate in silence.

When she sighed and leaned back in her chair, Conrad said, 'Better?'

Nadia burped. It was loud and abrupt, a thing she did without embarrassment or excuse. He remembered she was a teenager, or close enough. Before the meal he might have been a piece of furniture. Now that she was sated, she seemed interested in him again.

'How did you meet your wife?'

'Can we maybe talk about the house instead?'

'Who says we're not?'

'What's Jo got to do with the house?'

'You came here for a reason. I figured she was half the reason.'

He walked around and poured them each another glass of iced tea. Nadia was gulping the stuff down as fast as he was, and they were a little wired from it. Good - maybe it would keep her talking.

He set the pitcher between them. 'How's that one go - oh yeah. It's never a good thing when the new woman asks you about the last woman.'

She gulped, dribbling on her chin. 'What did you just say?'

'Something I read.'

'I'm not the new anything.'

'I know.'

She glared at him.

'Nadia, relax. I know.'

'Good.' The way she watched him, he reminded himself to watch his words. 'Was she your first love?'

'No.'

'Who was your first?'

Conrad sighed. 'My high-school sweetheart. That ended badly.'

'How bad?'

'How about, I still have nightmares about her, and she was twelve years ago.'

'Tsh. Get over it, dude.'

'You've never been in love.' It was a statement, not a question, but she took it as one.

'Nope.' Without hesitation. 'What, did you ask my mom about me?'

'No.' He grinned and looked away.

'What?'

'I saw your, uh, MySpace thing.'

'My wha--oh. Why?'

He shrugged. 'I was bored.'

'You're a total pervert!'

'Nadia, please.'

'Is that what you do when your wife's away? Surf the web for porn?'

'Porn? Did I miss something on your page?' He laughed.

'You're disgusting,' she said.

'I thought it was nice. I felt like I learned something about you.'

'Like what?'

'That you've never been in love.'

'Creepy . . .'

'So why did you put it up there, then? It's still called the World Wide Web, isn't it?'

'One of my friends made me do it. MySpace is so gay.'

'Why haven't you ever been in love?'

'"In love." God, you sound like my dad.'

'Hey, I don't know. What do kids call it these days?'

'I'm not a kid. And they don't call it anything. Now they just hook up.'

'So why haven't you ever been in love?'

'You can't force it.'

'Well, actually you can, but you shouldn't,' he said.

'What's that mean?'

'You asked about my wife . . . no, that's another long and not very interesting story.'

'Isn't that what we're doing? Telling stories?'

So it was going to be like this. She was not going to open up again until he gave something back. 'Okay. I guess I was still messed up over Holly. When I met Jo I didn't really understand how different we were. I was working in customer service at this software company. She was already in sales, making good money. I was sort of floundering after not finishing college. I was just happy someone wanted me. We started sleeping together. She didn't even want to call it dating at first. Then she got this job offer in Los Angeles, and suddenly it was tearsville, and why didn't I come with her? I didn't have much else going on. I was like . . . you know, I just figured this out after we moved here and Jo went away. I'm the housewife.'

Nadia pushed back her chair and waddled to the couch with the dogs, pulling Alice into her lap while Luther curled at her feet.

He followed her into the living room with the iced tea and struck a Vanna White pose, the pitcher held up next to his smiling face. 'See, I'm the housewife.'

'Housewife.' Nadia shivered a bit dramatically, smiling into her glass as she finished it. He set the pitcher down and sat on the couch opposite her, their bare feet facing each other over the coffee table. 'Why are you the housewife?'

'This is like the 1950s in reverse. You know, when men went to college to get a degree and women went to college to find a husband. I married a smart woman with ambition. The first one who batted her eyes at me. I don't even know what she sees in me now. She's always into her job. She can't relax. I thought I was doing something great here. Buying this house. We moved here, a month later she's out the door. I think I'm having a third-life crisis.'