“But ... it is so sudden,” said Jean Pascal; but I could see by the expression in his eyes that he knew it was because he had attempted to come to my room the previous night. I could also see the smoldering anger in his eyes, and I thought again of how he had attacked the swan. I believed then that he would have liked to take a stick to me.
How glad I was... how grateful to my good friends, the Fitzgeralds. “I think it is very ill-mannered of you to make all these arrangements without telling,” said Belinda.
“I have only just discovered that the Fitzgeralds were going and I thought it would be a good idea to go with them.”
“We oughtn’t to allow it,” said Belinda, looking at her father.
“I’m afraid you can’t stop me,” I said sharply. I turned to Jean Pascal. “I hope you don’t think it ungracious of me. In view of the circumstances...”
He knew full well what I meant and was fast getting the better of his anger. He said coolly, “You must do what you want, of course. If you had told me, I would have made the arrangements for you. I would have escorted you back myself.”
“Oh, I could not have allowed that. You and Belinda want to “be here. You will have so much to do ... when Robert returns. But thank you all the same. Now I will go to my room and pack.”
“How will you get to Bordeaux tomorrow?”
“We have arranged for a carriage to pick me up and then the Fitzgeralds. It will then take us to Bordeaux.”
“You seem to have become very friendly with them. Do you think it wise to put so much trust in them? You don’t really know them very well, do you?”
“I feel they are good friends and in any case what harm could befall me? I am only traveling back with them. And now I really must begin to pack. There is so much to do.”
Belinda kept away from me during the day; she was very upset with me. Jean Pascal also left me to my own devices, which pleased me very much. I retired early, locked my door and was ready to leave early next morning.
I felt I was coming very well out of a delicate situation.
I had had a rather restless night which was to be expected. When I did doze I had a nightmare in which Jean Pascal suddenly broke into my room and I awoke in the dream suddenly to find him at my bedside. Suddenly he turned into a black swan. It was a great relief to wake up and know that it was only a dream. And after that I scarcely slept at all.
How relieved I was when morning came!
Therese knocked at my door an hour earlier than usual. She had coffee and a brioche for me.
“You’ll need something inside you, mademoiselle,” she said. “You’ve got a long day ahead.”
She was smiling sympathetically. I wondered if she knew the real reason for my departure. It would not surprise me if she did. She probably knew a good deal about the habits of the master of the chateau. I thanked her warmly. When I went down to the hall, Jean Pascal was there.
He said, “I’ll send someone to bring down your bags.”
He took my hands and looked earnestly into my face. “I’m sorry you are leaving us like this, Lucie,” he said.
“I’m afraid ... I felt I had to.”
“My dear child, I understand. I hope you will try to understand me. I love you very dearly. I have been overhasty. I do realize that now. Please remember that I shall always be there to help you if you need me. You understand that, don’t you, Lucie?”
“It is good of you ...”I began.
He shook his head. “I would care for you... always. One day I am going to make you change your mind.”
“Thank you for your hospitality. I am sorry if I seemed churlish.”
“No, my dear, the fault was mine. I understand. I am considerably chastened. Give yourself time. My poor Lucie, you have so much to contend with and I was impatient. It was because I cared so much. But ... we will leave it ... for a time. And then I shall come back and try to win what is so important to me.” I had a great desire to get away. The carriage was at the door. He kissed my hand as they put the luggage into the carriage.
Belinda did not come to say good-bye. That was typical of her. She was very annoyed with me and was not going to hide it.
The carriage moved slowly away. Jean Pascal stood there, looking so sad that I could not help feeling a little contrite.
When the Fitzgeralds joined me and we rattled along to Bordeaux, I began to feel better.
And there we were in the train speeding along to Paris.
A Quiet Wedding
The journey went smoothly. Roland got us across Paris and we caught the train to Calais in good time. I realized often during that journey how lost I should have been without the Fitzgeralds.
Then there was the task of getting on the ferry. I felt so relieved when we came in sight of Dover.
The Fitzgeralds said they had a pied-à-terre in London which Roland used when he was there on business; but he did pay frequent visits to the headquarters in Bradford. When we arrived in London, he said they would drop me and then go on to their little place. They would not come in with me as I should be unexpected and it would be better for me to arrive alone and make the explanations. They would call next morning to make sure everything was all right.
They accompanied me to the door of the house where my bags were deposited. The cab waited at the door until it was opened by the butler.
I turned and waved to them and the cab drove off.
The butler was clearly astonished. “Miss Lansdon, we weren’t expecting.... We didn’t get a message....”
“No,” I replied. “There wasn’t time to send a message. Is Mrs. Lansdon at home?”
“Yes, Miss Lansdon. I’ll inform her. And I’ll send someone to take your bags up to your room.”
“Where is Mrs. Lansdon?” I asked.
“I think she would be in the drawing room, miss.”
“I shall find her. If you will see about the bags ...”
“I will, miss.”
I went past him up the stairs.
Celeste had heard the sounds of arrival and was at the top of the stairs to see what it was all about.
“Lucie!” she cried.
“Oh, Celeste, I’m so glad to see you.”
She put her arms round me and held me tightly.
“But why?” she said. “Where... are Belinda and my brother?”
“They are still in France. I came back with friends.”
“You must be very tired.”
“I suppose so ... but at the moment I’m so glad to be back that I don’t feel the least bit tired.”
“Something has happened....”
I hesitated and she went on, “I’m so sorry. It’s Joel, of course. I hope I did the right thing in letting you know. I wasn’t sure. I ought to have broken it gently. But I thought you would have to know.”
“Oh yes. Dear Celeste, I had to know. How... how are the Greenhams taking it?”
“Badly. I’ve only seen them once. I called... but I think they do not want callers. One understands. Sir John... well, you can’t tell with him, but Lady Greenham cannot hide how sad she is. I felt I shouldn’t have called. It seemed like bringing it all back ... but I suppose it’s in their minds the whole time. I left very soon.”
“Did you see Gerald?”
She shook her head. “It is so very tragic. There was such excitement when Joel went. It was going to be so important for his career. It all seemed so happy then. And it has all changed. But we must not speak of it. I am so pleased to see you. It has been so quiet without you and Belinda.”
“Belinda is going to be married.”
“Yes, I know.”
“It is all so suitable. It happened very quickly. Her father approves. Sir Robert seems acceptable in every way. It was love at first sight and I suppose there will be a grand wedding.”