“Did you drive very far?”
“Upstate a little ways, Westchester. Not too far.”
“Oh.” She paused, biting her lip. Now, she thought. Now is the time. “Are you sure...”
“He’s quitting, you know. I couldn’t change his mind, and maybe he has the right idea, after all. Why bang your head against the wall?”
“Yes,” she said. “Rick...”
“Yes?”
I can’t do it, she thought. I can’t just come out and...
“Are you sorry he’s leaving? Josh, I mean?” she said lamely.
“Yes, I am. I like him, Anne. He’s a hell of a nice guy, and...”
“But there are other teachers, aren’t there? Others you like?”
“I suppose so. Josh and I, though...”
“Teachers you can talk to, I mean. You know.”
Rick shrugged. “I talk to them all. They’re all right. But Josh is most like me, I think. A new teacher, a guy who wanted to teach... you know what I mean, Anne?”
“Yes. Yes, of course.” She was extremely nervous now because she was leading gradually to what she wanted to really talk about, and she hoped Rick didn’t suspect. “Solly Klein, do you talk to him much?”
“When Solly’s talking,” Rick said, “it’s pretty difficult to get a word in. We talk, though. Sure, we do.”
“And the others? George Katz? And Savoldi? And Manners?” She paused. “And Lois Hammond?” She swallowed hard and watched him, her hands clenched.
“Sure, all of them,” Rick said. “But I’ll still miss Josh.”
“I see.” She paused again. “I don’t suppose you get much chance to talk to Lois Hammond. I mean, there are no women in the lunchroom are there?”
“No. But I see her around. You know, in the halls, here and there. The school isn’t very big.”
“I suppose not.”
“Honey, maybe I can eat something after all. Are those chops burned or what?”
“No, but they’re pretty dried out, I think. Shall I heat them?”
“Would you?”
“Sure. Shall I heat the spinach, too?”
“If you will. Honey, you don’t mind if I just sit here, do you? I’m really bushed.”
“That’s all right,” she said. She went into the kitchen again and put the chops into the double boiler, not wanting them to get any drier than they already were. She put a flame under the spinach, and then called from the stove, “Does Miss Hammond know Josh is quitting?”
“What?” Rick called back.
“Miss Hammond. Does she know about...”
“Oh. I don’t know.”
“Didn’t he tell her?”
“I don’t know, hon.”
She stood at the stove, her back to the foyer and the living room. “Did... did you tell her, Rick?”
“Me? Why, no. Why should I?”
“I... I thought you might have run into her, you know. In the halls, here and there.”
“No, I didn’t tell her,” Rick said, and Anne suddenly wished she was in the living room, where she could see his face.
“Is she very pretty, Rick?”
“Who?”
“Lois Hammond.”
“I suppose so. If you go for that type.”
“What type?”
“Dark. Busty.”
“She’s dark?”
“Yes.”
“And... busty?”
“Very.”
“Oh.”
She took a tablespoon from one of the cabinet drawers and began stirring the spinach so it wouldn’t stick to the bottom of the pot.
“I like blondes,” Rick said from the living room, and again she wished she was there to see his face.
“Do you now?” she asked, trying to make her voice sound light.
“Indeed I do. And your bust is fine, thank you.”
“Thank you,” she said, automatically smiling,
“Don’t thank me,” Rick said. “I had nothing to do with it.”
“You had a lot to do with the rest of my figure,” Anne said. I’m being unfair, she thought. I’m using the home and family hook. I’m trying to keep him that way. I’m giving him a motherhood idol to worship. Damnit, why can’t I keep him as a woman?
He was suddenly behind her, his arms encircling her waist. He’d entered the kitchen so softly that she hadn’t heard him, and she wondered for a moment if she’d thought out loud. His hands rested lightly on her stomach, and he said, “You do have a bit of a pot, don’t you?”
“A bit,” she said lightly. “But only so you’ll appreciate me more afterward.”
“I appreciate you right now,” he said.
“Well, you don’t sound like it,” she answered, busying herself with the spinach.
He spun her around, holding her by the shoulders. “What kind of talk is that?” he asked, smiling.
“Snapping like a... like a turtle or something the minute you come in the house,” she said, pouting prettily.
“Did I snap?”
“Yes, you did.”
“I apologize,” he said. He kissed her on the tip of her nose. “There.”
“Is that the best you can do?”
“I wasn’t half trying,” he said, still smiling.
“Well, half-try.”
He pulled her closer to him and kissed her on the mouth this time, lingeringly. She felt his mouth on hers, and she clung to him tightly, thinking The notes are crazy, this is my Rick, he was with Josh, the notes are crazy. And then she pulled her lips away and pressed her cheek to his tightly, her arms moving up around his neck, her fingers spreading, holding him close.
“Hey!” he said, surprised.
“Do you love me, Rick?” she asked, her lips close to his neck.
“Why, of course I love you.”
“No, I don’t mean ‘of course,’ darling. I know ‘of course.’ I mean...” She shook her head, her cheek still against his, not knowing what she meant. “I mean, do you love me, Rick?”
“Yes, darling.”
“Even though I look like a horse?”
“You do not look like a horse.”
“I do, Rick, really, darling, please don’t deny it. But do you love me anyway?”
“Honey, what’s got into you. Of course, I...”
“No, Rick, please don’t say ‘of course.’ Just tell me you love me, darling. Just hold me close and tell me you love me.”
“Honey, honey,” he said, stroking her hair, closing his eyes, smiling. “Honey, I love you more than anything in this world.”
“Really, Rick?”
“Of...” He cut himself short. “I love you, Anne,” he said gently.
“I love you, too, Rick. I mean, I’m really crazy about you, Rick. Does that sound too high school girlish?”
“No, darling.”
“I can’t help it if it does, because that’s the way I feel. I’m just crazy in love with you, Rick. That’s why when you come home and snap at me, I think...”
“I didn’t mean to snap at you, hon. It was just Small, and then Josh, and I guess I was hungry, in spite of...”
“I know, but I begin thinking all sorts of things, Rick, and I don’t want to think those things. Darling, hold me. Please hold me very close.”
He tightened his arms around her, and she clung to him desperately.
“Rick,” she said, “Rick, Rick.”
He kissed her again, and she thought, I was silly, everything is all right, he likes blondes, and I’m as busty as most, everything is all right, and I’ll burn those damn silly notes, I’ll really burn them this time, oh Rick, I love you so much.
“I think the spinach is burning,” he said.
“Oh, my goodness!” She tore herself from him and turned off the gas, and then she began setting the table. He sat at the table and watched her, not helping because he was tired, and she didn’t mind his not helping at all. They began talking about other things, not the school, and not Small, and not Josh. Things about family, and friends outside the school.