On the building’s edge Sean knelt with his head bowed, apparently paying no attention to whatever Evan was asking. The stain on his chest continued to grow, and a small pool of blood had formed under his knees. Staring helplessly, Danny noticed a trail of black running from the pool. Evan must have dragged the detective to the lip. Enjoying the theater. Unconsciously, Danny’s eyes followed the trail. There was a silver shape lying where it began, some twenty feet away.
A gun. Nolan must have dropped it when he got hit.
Danny snuck another look at Evan. He still couldn’t make out any words, but something told him the shot was coming soon.
Retrieving the gun meant leaving cover, crossing into an open area. If Evan heard him, it was over for both of them.
Moving lightly, he crept out from behind the lumber. His heart sounded in his ears, thum-thUMP, thum-thUMP. He kept his weight on the balls of his feet as he walked the long tightrope across the room. His body tingled all over, the soreness of his muscles forgotten. The night air felt cool but very distant. Ten more steps. He tried to bring to mind everything he knew about guns. Beyond undoing the safety, it wasn’t much. He lifted a foot, leaned in, set it down gently. Every move precise. Careful. Not once giving in to the voice that yelled inside him. The whole weight of his life, and of Nolan’s, depended on doing this perfectly. Five more steps. Evan’s voice drifted through the air. The words sounded slow motion, dragged out like a tape loop. Weird, alien murmurs. He wondered if the others were away, if they’d made it to safety. He could feel each nerve in his feet, each current of air on his skin.
And then he was bending to scoop up the gun. It felt heavy in his hand, heavier than he’d expected. Hot and vaguely oily. He fought a mad urge to come up blasting away like in some seventies cop show. He had to get closer.
He walked on tiptoe, his arm rigid ahead of him. Locked on Evan like a compass pointing north. Each terrible step brought him nearer. He became aware of his breathing, how shallowly he was drawing air into his lungs. The weight of the gun kept his muscle tensed. How much time had passed? Probably only seconds. Felt longer. Felt like eternities had flowed beneath his feet. He thought of Debbie, eternally reaching for grace. The veins in his throat throbbed. He could taste sweat on his upper lip. Every careful step brought him closer. He wanted to cock the gun, but was afraid the noise would give him away. He thought it would fire anyway. Wasn’t cocking just to make it faster, smoother? He thought of Patrick, his laughter silenced with a bullet, body dumped in the river like trash. Danny ached from the beatings of the last days. The agonizing pace made him feel every movement. On the edge of the drop, Nolan said something, his voice dismissive. Evan laughed, a deep, cold laugh. The sound of a man who knew he’d won. Then he popped his head to either side and leaned forward, the pistol touching Nolan’s forehead.
A dozen feet away, Danny stared down the length of his arm, his childhood friend square in the sights. He closed one eye and pointed the pistol at Evan’s chest, dead center of his beating heart. Concentrated so hard that everything lost focus. So that Karen and Tommy and Debbie and Patrick all disappeared. So that Evan became only a pattern of colors. Then he squeezed the trigger.
The click echoed loud in the open space.
Evan whirled, instinct driving him back from the detective, bringing his arm over, aiming without hesitation. Danny stood frozen, impotent in the face of death, and waited for the impact. Some part of him wondered if you heard the shot before you felt it.
Then Evan laughed. “All those times you told me not to play with guns, you should have been learning how they worked.”
On TV, the cops slid the top part of the gun back before firing. He tried it. But when he pulled the trigger again, another click rang out.
“It’s empty.” Evan smiled, his pistol never leaving Danny’s chest. “Dirty Harry over here didn’t see me sneak around. All I had to do was wait till I heard him pop the clip to reload.”
Danny let his arm drop, the gun falling loose to clatter on the ground beside the duffel bag. He was too far from Evan to charge, and there was no cover for forty feet in any direction.
He was out of moves.
“Funny.” Evan smiled. “We got ourselves a reunion tonight. All the boys from the neighborhood.”
“Except Patrick.” His voice came out weary, too tired for rage.
“Can’t make an omelet, you know?” Evan shrugged. “But it’s still quite a picture. We got the whole range. The criminal. The cop. And whatever it is you are, Danny.”
“I’m…” He paused like he was hesitating, then took a step forward. “I’m just a regular guy.” If he could get close enough, he might be able to make a lunge.
Evan smiled again. “You’re starting to piss me off. Stop trying to win. Don’t you get it? You scored last time. Now it’s my turn.”
Danny froze, his arms out. “Easy.”
“Easy my ass.” With his left hand, Evan dug in an inner pocket, came out with cigarettes. Shook the pack until one popped up, took it in his lips, lit it with his silver Zippo. His gun hand never wavered. “You know what? Since we’re here, let’s settle something. Which are you, Danny-boy?”
“Which am I?”
“I know you like to believe you’re an innocent civilian, but it’s getting a little thin, don’t you think? Fighting, breaking-and-entering, jacking a car, kidnapping, plus you just tried to shoot a man in the back. That’s a hell of a week. Tell the truth.” He blew a puff of smoke. “Felt good, didn’t it?”
No point in lying. “Yes.”
Evan smiled, took a step back, and turned to Nolan. “You hear that, Sean? Got your cuffs handy?”
Nolan’s voice was calm, almost clipped. “Shut it, convict.”
Evan’s smile twisted into a snarl. His fist lashed out, pistol-whipping the detective across the face. Nolan’s head snapped sideways, but he didn’t make a sound. A line of blood cut across his cheek.
“A little respect, motherfucker.”
Danny’s mind felt sluggish, tired. An overdose of adrenaline had turned his limbs to concrete. He considered his options, dealing them out in front of him. Not a winning hand in the bunch.
“Hey,” Evan said, his voice suddenly light as he turned back to Danny. “Wanted to ask you. How’d you get up to the roof, man?”
“I climbed.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
“Now that sounds like fun. I bet you felt more alive than you had the last ten years.”
Danny shrugged, looked down. An idea occurred to him. A slim chance, but the only one he saw.
“Come on, admit it, man. It’s just like the game. You remember? Pisser?” Evan smiled, an old comradely grin.
“I remember.”
“You miss it, don’t you?”
“Sometimes.” Danny spoke slowly, cocking his left hip out. Putting all the weight on it. Last call. “Sometimes I do. But you know what, Evan? Mostly, I’m tired of it. I don’t want to play anymore.”
Evan stared at him like he was reading something in his soul, the smile slowly fading. He was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice came out soft. “Don’t you get it? The game never ends.”
And despite everything, for an instant, Danny saw through the man in front of him, the hardened killer, the engineer of his undoing. In his place stood a twelve-year-old boy with freckles and curly hair and a taunting smile that seemed to float in the air. Floated above the thousand humiliations of poverty, above the bruises from his father, above the whole stinking unbalanced system that would lead him here. A smile that floated because it had to.