Karris studied him quietly. “All true. All beside the point. You kept a secret for sixteen years from me. Keeping it from a boy who hasn’t known you and will never know your brother? Child’s play. What’s really going on?”
“Look, this soul-searching is deeply meaningful and everything, but what I did before, I’d do again. Karris, if you were falling off a cliff, and I could save only you or me, I’d save you. No question. Because even though I know that I can do things for the world that you can’t, I don’t care. I knew I should kill you, that you were the person most likely to destroy me. I knew that this… this was incredibly unlikely. But I love you, so I didn’t care. When I look at Kip? I’d make the rational choice. And I feel bad about that, but I feel bad when I send soldiers into war. I like Kip; I wouldn’t want to lose him. I want to get to know him more. But I don’t love Kip, and there’s nothing I can do about that.”
Someone pounded on the door. “Lord Prism.”
“One minute!” Gavin called.
Karris had an odd intensity in her eyes. “My lord, I was never helplessly in love with you-well, maybe when we were children I was. But in the years since, my feelings for you have come and gone. But my admiration for the man I saw you to be never changed. You twisted me in knots because the good man I felt you were-my Dazen-and the man I thought I knew you to be-Gavin-were so different. But I saw that you were the kind of man who was worthy of my love. I knew the man I would marry would be good and strong and gentle and honorable and smart and stubborn enough to handle me and… Hold on, I know there must be some other virtue,” she teased.
“Charming? Never forget charming.”
“Sometimes I could do with less of that,” she said. She got serious. “I chose you.”
“Ah, you couldn’t resist me.”
“Yes, yes I could,” she said flatly. “I chose you.”
“How startlingly… unromantic,” he said. He was reminded of her affinity for the blue virtues, despite being a red and a green, for thinking things through, for making the columns add up.
“I love you body, soul, and breath. Is that unromantic? Love is not a whim. Love is not a flower that fades with a few fleeting years. Love is a choice wedded to action, my husband, and I chose you, and I will choose you every day for the rest of my life.”
There was another knock on the door. “Lord Prism! The Spectrum is meeting right now, and they wish to speak with you. Lord Prism?”
“Dazen,” Karris said suddenly, “no matter what happens, I love you.” Something about her voice was raw, as if she were right on the edge.
Gavin had a sudden intuition. “Karris, what are you talking about? What’s going on?”
“I just-”
“What did the Third Eye tell you?”
Silence. He’d hit it; he could tell.
Karris moved to get up, but Gavin grabbed her hand. “Karris, please…”
She looked back at him, then looked away. “I’ll tell you, but I’m not telling you anything else no matter what you say, understood?”
“Understood,” Gavin said. He grimaced, but he knew Karris when she got stubborn.
“She hedged, of course, said she doesn’t see everything perfectly…”
“The Third Eye, with less than helpful help? Yes, I’m familiar with-”
“She told me when you’re going to die,” Karris said in a rush. Then she stood and threw a robe around her shoulders. “Now get up, lazybones, we’ve got a long day ahead of us.” She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes.
Chapter 105
“I lured you here under false pretenses,” Andross Guile said as Kip came into his dark cabin. The Red had of course taken the captain’s cabin, and though he’d put curtains on the windows, it wasn’t nearly as pitch dark as his own apartments back at the Chromeria. Kip had forgotten to soak up superviolet light before coming in, so he was at the mercy of the dim light and his ears. But Luxlord Guile seemed to be in unusually good spirits, and that put Kip on his guard. “I don’t want to play a game with you. I want to apologize,” Andross said.
Kip remembered the glasses he carried, and put the sub-red on. It didn’t help that much. “For what?” he asked. He could think of a dozen things for which the old monster should apologize, but he couldn’t imagine the man apologizing for any of them.
“For trying to have you killed.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Kip asked.
“Believe me, I thought you did owe me an apology for refusing to die. But this is me apologizing to you.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” Kip said.
Outlined against the thin light coming beneath one curtain and glowing in sub-red, Kip saw Andross Guile tense, his fists ball. “Remember what you are, boy!” He relaxed with an effort. “You’d just come to the Chromeria and my son barely knew you. If you’d cracked under the pressure and jumped to your death, it would have been a very brief scandal, brought up idly, revived some six months later when I had new evidence ‘found’ that the woman who’d claimed to be your mother confessed to lying, having taken money from a rival family to smear Gavin. Then it would have been forgotten. You would have just been another attack on a family that has endured a thousand, an anecdote of an attempted smear on a great house.”
“Mistress Helel? You sent that fat woman who tried to throw me out of the tower?” Kip asked. Andross kept talking, but Kip was still struggling to come to grips with what he’d said first.
“Was that her name? Oh, and while I’m clearing the air… I paid those idiots in your Blackguard training class to block you. No harm done, right? Regardless, I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” Kip asked, incredulous. Like that was enough?
Kip saw an eyebrow rise above one of the big lenses, as if the man was wondering how stupid this fat boy was. Andross Guile raised his index finger. “I want you to know, Kip, I haven’t apologized to anyone in twenty years.”
“I’m honored,” Kip said.
The old man chose to ignore the sarcasm. “Well, if that’s behind us, perhaps you would like to play some Nine Kings?”
“What? What? No! You tried to kill me! You can’t-you can’t just try to kill people because they’re inconvenient.”
Andross Guile’s head tilted like a dog’s, trying to understand this odd, odd boy. “Reality begs to differ.”
But Kip felt the world going gray. “This is all a screen. A distraction. You killed Lucia,” he said. Kip saw her again, stepping into the line of fire. He saw her face bloody, neck torn open by a musket ball, pumping blood, blood, blood. Kip shivered.
“Who?” Andross asked.
“The girl in my Blackguard class who took the bullet you meant for me!”
“What are you talking about?” Andross asked.
Kip’s rising rage wavered. “Someone tried to shoot me, during training. They killed her instead.”
The old man shook his head, like Kip was a moron. “Why would I go to the trouble and expense to block you from the Blackguard if I intended to kill you before you get could get in? I meant you to be a failure, not a corpse.”
“Maybe you were making doubly sure you stopped me.”
“It’s nice that you have such a high opinion of yourself, but use that puny brain of yours. All these accusations. Again! If you were killed, there’d be an investigation. The boys who agreed to block you from the Blackguard would come forward. After all, it’s one thing to make someone fail and have to try again next season, but something else altogether to kill them. You start killing people, and consciences get pricked. You think I’d leave my seal where it could be seen like that? You think I would fail twice the same way? No, boy, believe me, if I wanted you dead, you would be.”