Sakwi smiled. "The forest will find a way. I'll be ready to go by afternoon."
No amount of argument would dissuade the mage. Carina saw little choice if Tris's gambit were to succeed. Sakwi took his leave of them to get ready.
"I think we'll let you get some rest, too," Tris said, standing. "Now that you're awake, Jolie will have food sent up. You've still got a real beauty of a lip there. I'll tell her to make sure whatever she sends is soft."
"Better phrase that carefully in a place like this," Vahanian replied with a wink. "You might not get what you thought you asked for."
Tris glanced at Carina. "He'll live. Sounds like he's back to his old self."
Carina watched the door shut behind Tris and Kiara. "Now, that's quite enough," she said in her healer's tone. She crossed to Vahanian's bed and gently slipped the extra pillow from behind him so that he could lay flat. That he permitted it gave her some indication of how he was feeling, but he caught her sleeve as she turned to go.
"I never got the chance to ask," Vahanian said, meeting her eyes. "Did they hurt you?" He raised a finger gently to the still-visible outline of the bruise on her cheek.
"I'm all right," Carina said, but she could tell from his eyes that he knew she was lying.
"Never bluff someone who's made a living gambling," Vahanian said. "You don't always have to be the one with the answers, you know. The healer can need healing, too."
His acknowledgment of her ordeal, coupled with the strain of the past days finally overwhelmed what remained of her reserve. She turned away as tears began to streak down her face, finding that her will was no longer sufficient to hold them at bay.
"I'll be all right," she said again, swallowing hard. "It's just going to take a little time." And then, her resolve crumbling, the tears came in earnest, for the near drowning, the Nargi, as cold and enveloping as the swift waters of the river. She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking as deep, racking sobs shook her.
How he managed to stand she never knew, but Vahanian stepped up behind her, turning her gently and folding her against him. He let her sob like a child, wordlessly stroking her hair. She dragged a sleeve across her eyes, aware of what a spectacle she had made of herself.
"I'm sorry," she managed, her voice cracking.
"No one's invincible. Trust me, I know."
"There isn't time for this. There's a job to be done..."
"Let someone else do it for a while." He pulled her with him to sit on the edge of the bed, his strength fading. He slipped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close to him, and she did not shrug away "You've carried your share. Stop running for a while."
"What makes you think I'm running?"
"We have that in common," Vahanian replied.
"We're not that much alike."
"No? Let me see. Stubborn, willful, driven, self-sufficient, arrogant, and damn good at what we do." His lip twisted wryly. "You're right. Nothing in common."
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?"
Vahanian shook his head, wincing at the effort. "No. That takes time. But as you're so fond of telling me, you have to let the healer close enough to heal."
"Sakwi isn't up to any more than he's done already."
"I wasn't thinking of Sakwi," Vahanian murmured, close enough now that she could feel his breath. "There was something I promised myself in the Nargi camp, if I lived through it."
"What was that?" Carina murmured.
"This," he said, lowering his mouth to hers. For an instant she hesitated. Then she leaned into him, surprised at herself even as she returned the kiss with gentle fervor. A moment later he drew back, and she thought he looked both pleased and a little astonished.
"I love you, Carina," Vahanian said, tilting her chin up to look her in the eyes. "Last night, in the camp, I didn't want to go to the Lady, leaving it unsaid."
Carina felt tears start down her cheeks, but she did not look away. "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice choked. "I've wasted so much time, being afraid—"
He kissed her again, cutting off her words, reluctant to draw away until he began to sway as his strength failed.
"I really ought to be going back downstairs," she stammered, completely at a loss.
Vahanian made no attempt to hold her back, but his eyes searched hers. Carina had the uncomfortable feeling that he could see right past her defenses. She helped him lay back down.
"Come back soon. Don't be afraid," he murmured, looking as if he were about to pass out. "Your virtue is quite safe."
Carina blushed. "Considering where we are, that's saying something. Now get some sleep, before I have to re do what I did last night. When I come back up, I'll see what I can do about the damage that's left."
Vahanian took her hand and pressed the back of it against his lips. "As you wish, m'lady," he said, his eyes closed. She sat with him until he fell asleep again, and while her heart was still thudding, she found that the sense of relief at the confession seemed to push her fears far away, at least for today.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Everyone but Vahanian and Carina gathered in the back room late that afternoon to bid the Goddess's blessing to Sakwi. Outfitted for a long ride, the thin mage accepted their well-wishing graciously, politely disagreeing with Tris about resting longer before striking out on the dangerous trek to Eastmark.
Tris watched the mage with mixed emotions. He was grateful for the possibility that Sakwi might be able to persuade the Eastmark king to ally against Jared. Yet he knew with Sakwi's departure, the burden of the success of the journey fell even more heavily on his own shoulders. I'm not ready. There's so much left to learn.
Sakwi stepped to the edge of the brush along the river. In the dimming sun, Tris saw a large stag among the bushes, a powerful animal with antlers that spoke of a long and cunning life. Sakwi murmured something that Tris did not quite hear and the stag moved closer, awaiting the mage's needs. With a wave of farewell, Sakwi hoisted himself onto the stag's back. Making the sign of the Goddess, he leaned forward and clung tightly to the beast as it bounded off.
"You know," Kiara said to Tris, "every time I think I've seen it all, I get another surprise. There's never a dull moment."
"Stick around. The fun's just starting." He looked around them. "Has anyone seen Carina?"
"Jolie brought a note down from Carina asking that someone sit with Jonmarc tonight." Kiara shrugged. "I imagine Carina's finally getting some sleep. Goddess bless, she deserves it."
"It'll be a few more days until Jonmarc can even think about sitting a horse. I guess we might as well make ourselves comfortable."
Kiara's expression made it clear that she did not consider the delay unacceptable. "We could all use the rest. Especially you. Although I know what you're thinking. Every day that goes by makes it closer to the Hawthorn Moon."
They followed the others back into Jolie's place. The back room had become a place for Tris and his companions to make their plans and preparations in private, avoiding the curiosity of the gamers and guests in the front rooms. That they had not already been carried away in chains bound for Shekerishet gave Tris confidence in Jolie's repeated reassurance of her discretion. He still found it impossible to relax.
Nyall, too, seemed uneasy with the delay. Tris imagined that the river pilot's anxiousness lay in his wish for his part in the adventure to be at an end. Nyall spent his days testing and improving the new boat Jolie had helped him secure, building a corral for the horses and checking the boat's maneuverability in the swift river. He went to bed early, looking for any excuse to flee from the back room after dark. Now that the river ghosts' early reticence was gone, they sought Tris's intercession on a nightly basis. Even Jolie seemed taken aback at the spirits that came to Tris for his help in resolving old business or making the passage to the Lady.