“Come now. Be reasonable about this—”
“No. I am being reasonable. I refuse to collect the soul,” I stated firmly and walked away. As I neared the adjacent corridor, I vanished.
Chapter 4
When I appeared at my bench, all I could think about was how unfair life really was. Over the years I’d heard from many people about the magic of childbirth. I’d heard about how wonderful and life-changing the event really was. But without ever experiencing it firsthand, I’d always assumed that those people were exaggerating greatly. Now, after witnessing just a single childbirth firsthand, I knew that assumption couldn’t be further from the truth. For as long as Cyndi and I had wanted children, I’d never really considered what it really was that we desired. I’d assumed what we wanted was something to love and raise as our own. Throughout all of those conversations with Cyndi, never once had I given thought to what it really meant to bring life into the world. Witnessing that childbirth would forever stain my mind. My soul. And if the Sentinel expected anything different from me, we were going to have a problem.
As I sat alone, contemplating the situation, Hauser appeared in front of me. He stood, his feet shoulder width apart and his hands on his hips. He glared down at me as a disappointed father might. I stared back and uncontrollably rolled my eyes.
“What’s going on, Jack?” Hauser asked. “One minute you’re fine, and then the next you storm off like a child that didn’t get his way.”
“Well I guess I didn’t really know what I was signing up for when I took Wilson’s soul. I’m sorry, but I never really asked for this.”
“No, I suppose you didn’t. But the fact of the matter is, you accepted Wilson’s offer, and according to the Sentinel you are expected to carry out that responsibility.” Hauser’s stare relented slightly as he sat down next to me. “What we have, Jack, is a responsibility. Yes, it’s a difficult proposition, but it really is quite spectacular, what we do. We’ve been given the opportunity to maintain the balance of humankind. Whether you see it like that or not is totally up to you.”
“But what about Noah? How was saving his soul even possible? How is that keeping the balance? You and I both know perfectly well that what I did there was the right thing to do.”
“Jack, I don’t know that. And how can you? For all we know, Noah might turn out to be wife-beating baby rapist—”
“Stop it. Just stop. Based on everything that we’ve witnessed so far in his life, I made the absolute right decision. And there’s nothing you can do to take that away from me.” I turned away from Hauser, hoping to screen my thoughts. Talking about Noah had brought up the thought of changing yet another soul’s future.
“Jack, you can’t. Just because you were able to save Noah does not entitle you to save every single soul that you come across. Sometimes, you just have to do your job—without question. You are not judge and jury, and neither am I. We cannot continue in this godlike way.”
Why does he keep telling me I’m trying to play God when all I want to do is save a soul, I wondered.
Why can’t he just get it through his thick head? This child’s soul is not worth the agony and potential sacrifice of something far greater. If he could just only understand that—
“How can you say that, Hauser? How can you say that his soul is not worth a damn?”
Hauser’s eyebrow arched slightly and he fidgeted nervously with his hands. “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m usually more in control of my thoughts. You were not meant to hear that. The good news is that it appears that you are developing your ability to read thoughts. Or is it all too late for that?”
“Hauser, there is no good news about this entire fucked-up situation. Having this new ability is not my consolation prize for having to take the soul of an innocent child.”
“No, I never said it was.”
“But you certainly implied it. And maybe it is too late. I’m not sure if I want to continue this… this heartless job.”
“What are you saying, Jack? Are you gonna quit on me?”
I rose up from the bench and stood directly in front of Hauser. I looked down on him blankly. “Yeah, I guess I’m done. This isn’t what I signed up for.”
“Well, sport I have news for you: you just can’t quit. You have an impending soul collection, and until that contract is filled, you’re on the clock.”
“Fine. If that’s the way it is, then so be it. I will just give my soul in place of Calvin’s. That way, everybody’s happy. I’ve saved a child’s soul, and I am no longer a pain in your side.”
Hauser laughed. “Jack, you surprise me. One moment you show utter brilliance and then the next you spew out shit like that. Think about it, man. You can’t give your soul away to an infant child that can’t even walk or talk yet.”
“Why does that matter? I’m allowing this baby to live.”
“Don’t be daft. You know very well that if you give your soul in his place, he will become the next soul collector. How can he do so if he can’t communicate with the dying people that he’s there to collect from? That’s not an acceptable option. Try again.”
“Well, then I guess we’re at an impasse. I’m not going to take his soul, and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind,” I said, sliding my hand into my pocket and gripping Calvin’s soul box firmly.
“Jack, I’m very disappointed in you. I had hoped that you would be able to see through this and move forward. But I see you’re not leaving me, or the Sentinel, any choice. Hand over the box and I will collect the soul myself. Meanwhile, you will have to report to the Sentinel for disciplinary action.” Hauser held his hand out expectantly.
I maintained the grip on my box and took a step backward. “There’s not a chance in hell that I give you this box,” I said.
Then I vanished.
Chapter 5
When I landed, I was not standing at the destination I had imagined. Instead I stood in a stairwell that twisted and curved up at a precarious angle. The passageway was tight, and the surface of the walls around me were equally bizarre. Having lived in New York for most of my life, it didn’t take me long to realize exactly where I stood.
I began to climb the worn steel treads up to the observation platform inside the head of the Statue of Liberty. I wasn’t too far off from where I’d imagined my destination to be. I’d initially thought about the immigration building on Ellis Island, which was a short five-minute ferry ride away. But as I weaved myself through the scattering of tourists trying to get a view of New York, I decided that this was actually a better destination after all.
As I leaned into the opening to catch a view of the city for myself, the voice behind me killed my buzz.
“You know, Jack, you can run, but you can’t hide,” Hauser said as he twirled his monocle around his finger.
“Jesus, Hauser. Why can’t you just let me be? I’ve already given you my decision. I quit.”
“That’s fine, pal. Just hand over the box and you can go on your merry way. I’m sure with your current mindset, Enoch can guide you the rest of the way,” Hauser blurted.
Startled at hearing the name from my dreams, I wondered what he meant by it.
“And like I said, nobody will be collecting Calvin’s soul. Not if I can stand it. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I said before disappearing once again.