“Calvin. Don’t remind me,” I said.
“Well? Are you going to be okay?”
I sighed. “Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” I said. “Besides, I’m here to convince her not to die. I’m here to help her continue living. That is something I can be on board with.”
“Just remember, sport, Penny here is purely bait. Your intentions, no matter how sincere, are only present to lure Enoch out into the open. You’re not actually going to be able to save her,” Hauser said, stopping at the end of the alley to look me in the eye.
“Yeah, okay. I got it. I’m not gonna save her soul,” I said in a monotone.
“All right. I think we’re ready to go in, then.”
We stepped from the alley and onto the open sidewalk. Hauser was walking a little faster than normal, and I increased my speed in an attempt to match his pace. Before I knew it, I walked right into the back of another pedestrian. The collision nearly knocked me to the ground.
“Hey, buddy, why don’t you watch where you’re going,” said the stranger before stomping off down the street.
After regaining my composure, I looked up and found Hauser staring back at me, smiling ear to ear. “Wow, having to relearn how to interact with society has to be a real bitch,” he said.
I chuckled, trying to hide my embarrassment. I was actually surprised how quickly I’d lost the ability to interact with other people. Since entering the afterlife all those months ago, I rarely gave it a second thought when walking around or through the living.
“I guess I need to regain some manners,” I said.
“At the very least,” Hauser said. “This way, compadre.”
Hauser looked both ways before crossing into the street. I followed in his footsteps, verifying that he wasn’t foolishly luring me into a dangerous situation. He glanced back at me just as I looked up and down the street, and then chuckled. “What? You think I would actually put you in harm’s way?” he asked.
I shrugged as I passed him and stepped onto the sidewalk.
“So what’s our play? Do I just to go up to her and start chatting with her?” I asked.
“Well, maybe something not so direct, but yeah.”
“And you’re sure she’s in there?” I asked.
Hauser pulled out his pocket watch and flipped it open for us both to see. As we stood right outside the community center, the only dot on the face of the dial flashed slowly.
“Yep. She’s here. And from the speed of the flashing, it looks like whatever they’re talking about in there is doing her good.”
I leaned around the edge of the building and peered inside the glass storefront. From where I stood, I could see close to a dozen people sitting in plastic chairs arranged in a circle. I held my position for a few moments, studying the group.
“I don’t know, Hauser. I think your pocket watch might be broke. I don’t see her in there.”
“Trust me, she’s in there. She may look a little different from the last time you saw her, but she’s there.”
I peeked around the corner again, scanning the group. As I did, individuals in the group began to stand up and mingle around, a few of them refilling their drinks from a buffet table at the side of the room.
“And you’re sure that Enoch will pick up on our activities?” I asked nervously.
“What’s going on, Jack? You obviously want to save all of the souls, so what’s causing the blockage right now?”
Hauser was right. There was something blocking my confidence, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
“I don’t know. It’s just that… I guess I’ve just gotten use to not interacting with people, formally. I’ve never really been socially awkward or anything, but I’m having some strange feelings of inadequacy right now.”
“Nobody said this was going to be a walk in the park, Jack. Just do your best and I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
I took a deep breath, then walked around the corner and opened the front door.
Chapter 8.5
When I stepped into the Forty-Second Street community center, several small independent groups murmured quietly around the room. As I walked farther into the gathering, I casually looked around at all of the female guests trying to find Penny.
“Welcome,” a woman said from the center of the room.
I smiled and walked up to her. “Hello,” I said nervously. “Uh, a friend of mine said there was some kind of group that I could, um…” I held the pause to exaggerate the awkwardness of the situation. “A place that I could come to if I was depressed.”
“Your friend is correct. I am Alisha. I’m a support counselor here, and our door is always open. If you ever want to talk, there will always be somebody here to listen.” She smiled. “We have weekly gatherings where you can come and participate in group sessions. There’s one going on right now, but we’re just on a little bit of a break.”
“Oh, thank you. I’m not sure if I’m quite ready to jump right into a group environment…”
“That’s quite all right, Mr… ?”
“Uh,” I stammered.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me your last name. First names are fine.”
“I, um, I’m Jack.”
“Welcome, Jack. You’re more than welcome to participate today if you’d like, but you could also just observe today if that makes you feel more comfortable.”
“Thank you. I’d like that. I’ll just hang out if that’s okay?”
“Absolutely. Help yourself to refreshments, too. There’s snacks and punch at the back.”
I smiled and nodded, then shuffled through the crowd, trying to be aware of my surroundings as to not run into anyone. When I reached the back table, I filled a cup with punch and picked up a chocolate chip cookie. As I turned back to face the room, I saw her. Penny was sitting alone and looked far worse for the wear than I’d anticipated. Her eyes were ringed in pink and swollen, and her hair looked as if it hadn’t been combed in quite some time. Her shirt appeared inside out, and her jeans were stained with grime.
There she is, I thought to Hauser.
“See? I told you so,” Hauser said from beside me. “Now, it’s all up to you.”
“Oh great. Way to put the pressure on me,” I said as I fidgeted nervously.
“Relax, Jack. It’s not like you’re going up to ask her out on a date or anything. You’re just here to… talk to her, get to know her, and find out how close she is to killing herself.”
Hearing Hauser talk about committing suicide as if it were just another daily occurrence bothered me. Having mostly come to terms with my own fatal decision helped soften the impact, but the entire situation disturbed me just the same. Then a thought crossed my mind.
“Wait a minute. Won’t she recognize me from the hospital?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to bring it up, buddy, but she might very well remember you. Before she went in for the C-section, she was on no medication or drugs whatsoever. We just have to hope that enough time has passed that you’re just another stranger to her. Now go. You’re not getting any younger,” Hauser smirked. “And be cautious when speaking to me in public. You do realize other people can hear you talking, right? It looks like you are having a deep conversation with yourself.”
Got it. I forgot there for a minute, I thought.
As I walked toward Penny, I brought the cup of punch to my lips to take a drink. Just as the sugary sweetness reached my tongue, my elbow struck someone’s back, causing me to spill red liquid down my chin and all over my chest.