I parked in a fire lane outside the library’s main entrance on Melrose Avenue, switching on the truck’s flashers in hopes that they might ward off a ticket or a tow truck. I took a quick spin through the coffee shop and the study areas on the main floor without spotting her, then peered through the doors of several study rooms, before it occurred to me that she might be downstairs in Reference. I didn’t see her there, either, but I did see a librarian I knew slightly, peering at a computer screen. Thelma? Velma? Neither of those names seemed quite right. “Hello there,” I said to her. “How long before actual books are a thing of the past?”
She looked up, reflexively smiling when she recognized me. Then something flickered in her eyes, and she looked slightly embarrassed, as if she’d remembered something unseemly about me. “Oh. Dr. Brockton. Hello.”
“I don’t suppose you’ve seen my wife in here this evening,” I said.
“No, but I’ve been staring at this screen pretty hard. Feel free to take a look around.”
“I already did. Didn’t see her. She’s working on an article, so I thought she might’ve needed help finding something.”
“Well, not that I know of, but if I see her, I’ll tell her you were looking for her.”
“Thanks.” I nodded and started away, but then stopped and turned back. “Oh, long as I’m here… is, uh, Red working tonight?”
“Who?”
“Red. That’s her nickname. I don’t know her actual name. Young woman. Smart. Sarcastic, but in a fun way.” Thelma/Velma/what’s-her-name was giving me a blank stare. “You know, Red,” I repeated. “I think that’s the color of her hair.”
“I can’t think of anybody who fits that description. Not in Reference, anyway. Maybe she’s in Periodicals?”
“No,” I said, feeling embarrassed and awkward — stupid, even — but also stubborn, not quite ready to give up. “Reference. I’ve talked to her two or three times. She was working the late shift one night a couple weeks ago when I called. June… twentieth, I think. Just before midnight. You could check the staff schedule.”
“I don’t need to,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t need to check the staff schedule to tell you that there was nobody named Red working late that night. Nobody named anything.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The library’s open till midnight during summer session,” she said, “but the Reference Desk is only staffed until ten.”
I stripped in the garage, tossed my clothes into the washing machine, and stepped into the shower in the basement bathroom. I stayed there, slumped under the spray, until the water turned cold. I was physically exhausted — I hadn’t slept in almost forty hours — but I was unmoored and off kilter, too, from the roller-coaster ride of all the recent revelations, confrontations, implications, and miscommunications: Prescott’s angry message, Maddox’s new information, Mrs. Janus’s mistrust of the FBI. The last two backbreaking straws had been my unsuccessful search for Kathleen, followed by the disquieting discovery that “Red”—to whom I had confided about the Janus case — was a stranger and an imposter of some sort, someone whose motives and machinations were utter mysteries to me.
Shivering as I stepped out from under the chilly water, I dried off, wrapped the towel around me, and trundled upstairs, where I found Tupperware containers of baked beans and potato salad deep in the fridge: the remains, I realized, of our anniversary dinner. The beans looked and smelled fine; the potato salad was slightly suspect, with a gauzy layer of mold floating above the chunky surface. It seemed more like a layer of ground fog than a deeply established colony of fungus, so I commenced a culinary version of an archaeological dig, removing the top stratum and setting it aside before excavating in earnest, shoveling it into my mouth.
By the time I’d finished the potato salad and baked beans, my whole body was buzzing with fatigue. Shuffling back to the bedroom, I pulled on a soft, ragged pair of sweatpants and a paint-spattered T-shirt, then returned to the living room and settled onto the sofa to watch a bit of the History Channel until Kathleen came home. Outside, the summer light began to fade. Inside, the sights and sounds of World War II filled the room. Within minutes, the menacing growls of warplanes and the lethal clatter of machine-gun fire lulled me into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I awoke to daylight — bright morning daylight — streaming through the living room windows. Surfacing from fathomless depths, I felt disoriented, staring around the room as if it were unfamiliar territory. The television screen was dark and silent, so evidently Kathleen had come in at some point during the war and switched it to peacetime mode. But why hadn’t she waked me, even if only to lead me to bed?
“Kathleen? Kathleen! Are you here?”
“I’m in the kitchen, honey. About to leave.”
Swinging my feet onto the floor, I levered myself into a sitting position and pushed myself off the couch. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, I saw Kathleen rinsing her coffee cup, her briefcase already slung over one shoulder. Still groggy, I moved toward her, hoping for a kiss. “Why didn’t you wake me up? What time did you get in?”
“Really late,” she said. “Midnight, maybe? You were really out of it — I could hear you snoring from down in the garage, as soon as I got out of my car — so I figured I should just let sleeping dogs lie.”
“I wish you’d woken me up. I really wanted to see you.”
“Sorry, hon. I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep if I woke you up. And I was desperate to get to sleep by the time I got home last night. After you left yesterday — no, day before yesterday; God, I’m so tired — the phone started ringing off the hook. Reporters and FBI agents calling all afternoon and half the night. So I didn’t get much sleep Sunday night. And yesterday was… well, intense.” She picked up her keys from the counter.
I glanced at the microwave clock. It read 8:15—later than my usual departure time, but earlier than hers. “Do you have to go right now?” I heard a note of petulance in my voice, and I realized that my feelings were hurt.
“I have a meeting at eight-thirty, darling.” She came and gave me a peck on the cheek, then slid off and headed downstairs for the garage. “I’ll talk to you this evening,” she called up the stairs. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” I murmured to the empty doorway, my unheard voice a mix of wistfulness and resentment.
Chapter 27
Peggy glowered when I entered the Anthropology Department office at nine on Tuesday — not because I was an hour later than usual, but because I’d been AWOL for all of Monday, hunkered down in the abandoned annex. I knew she was about to light into me, but I held up a preemptive hand and shook my head. “Not now, Peggy. Messages on my desk?”
“A few dozen.” Her tone was as biting as a pair of fingernail clippers.
“Thank you.” I headed through the doorway into my administrative office — the one where I met with struggling students, frustrated faculty, and bean-counting bureaucrats — and gathered up the mound of pink messages. If anything, Peggy had understated the number. Curling them into a haphazard scroll, I cinched them with a fat rubber band and headed back out through Peggy’s office.
“You’re already leaving?”
“No. Just heading down to my other office to sort through all this. Buzz me if Kathleen calls. Or the dean. Or the FBI.” I sighed as a bleak thought occurred to me. “Or the general counsel, I guess. But reporters? I’m in an all-day meeting.”