Bombs and guns. He was reaping the harvest he had sown. They all were. But what other choice had they had?
To Jay down and die. The only other choice.
Tolonen looked at his daughter, sleeping now, and felt all the fierce warmth of his love for her rise up again. A vast tide of feeling. And with it came an equally fierce pride in her. How magnificent she had been! He had seen the replay from the Security cameras and witnessed the fast, flashing deadliness of her.
He relinquished her hand and stood, stretching the tiredness from his muscles.
They would come again. He knew it for a certainty. They would not rest now until they had snatched his breath from him. His instinct told him so. And though it was not his way to wait passively for things to come to him, in this he found himself helpless, unable to act. They were like shadows. One strove to fight them and they vanished. Or left a corpse, which was no better.
No, there was no center to them. Nothing substantial for him to act against. Only an idea. A nihilistic concept. Thinking this, he felt his anger rise again, fueled by a mounting sense of impotence.
He would have crushed them if he could. One by one. Like bugs beneath his heel. But how did one crush shadows?
fei yen jumped down from her mount, letting the groom lead it away, then turned to face the messenger.
"Well? Is he at home?"
The servant bowed low, offering the sealed note. Fei Yen snatched it from him impatiently, moving past him as if he were not there, making her way toward the East Palace. As she walked, she tore at the seal, unfolding the single sheet. As she'd expected, it was from Li Yuan. She slowed, reading what he had written, then stopped, her teeth bared in a smile. He would be back by midday, after four days away on his father's business. She looked about her at the freshness of the morning, then laughed, and pulling her hair out of the tight bun she had secured it in to ride, shook her head. She would prepare herself for him. Would bathe and put on fresh clothes. Perhaps the new silks he had sent her last week.
She hurried on, exhilarated, the delights of her early morning ride and the joy of his return coursing like twin currents in her blood.
She was about to go into her rooms when she heard noises farther down the corridor, in the direction of Li Yuan's private offices. She frowned. That part of the East Palace was supposed to be off-bounds while Li Yuan was away. She took two steps down the corridor, then stopped, relieved. It was only Nan Ho. He was probably preparing the offices for his master's return. She was about to turn away, not wishing to disturb the Master of the Inner Chamber, when she realized what it was she had found strange. There had been voices . . .
She walked toward him, was halfway down the corridor when he turned.
"Lady Fei. . ."
She could see at once that he had not expected her. But it was more than that. His surprise in finding her there had not turned to relief as, in normal circumstances, it ought. No. It was almost as if he had something to hide.
"You know Prince Yuan will be here in two hours, Master Nan?"
He bowed his head deeply. "He sent word, my Lady. I was preparing things for him."
"My husband is fortunate to have such an excellent servant as you, Master Nan.
Might I see your preparations?"
He did not lift his head, but she could sense the hesitation in him and knew she had been right.
"You wish to see, my Lady?"
"If you would, Master Nan. I promise not to disturb anything. I realize my husband has his set ways, and I'd not wish to cause you further work." "They are but rooms, my Lady . . ."
"But rooms are like clothes. They express the man. Please, Master Nan, indulge my curiosity. I would like to see how Prince Yuan likes his room to be. It would help me as a wife to know such a thing."
Nan Ho lifted his head and met her eyes. "My Lady, I ..." She smiled. "Is there some secret, Master Nan? Something I should know?" He bowed his head, then backed away, clearly upset by her insistence. "Please, my Lady. Follow me. But remember, I am but the Prince's hands."
She hesitated, her curiosity momentarily tinged with apprehension. What could have flustered the normally imperturbable Nan Ho? Was it some awful thing? Some aspect of Li Yuan he wanted to keep from her? Or was it, instead, a surprise present for her? Something that she would spoil by insisting on seeing it?
For a moment she wondered whether she should draw back. It was not too late. Li Yuan would hate it if she spoiled his surprise. But curiosity had the better of her. She followed Master Nan, waiting as he unlocked the great double doors again and pushed them open.
She walked through, then stopped dead, her mouth fallen open in surprise.
"You!"
The two girls had risen from the couch at her entrance. Now they stood there, their heads bowed, their hands folded before them.
She turned, her face dark with anger. "What is the meaning of this, Master Nan? What are these creatures doing here?"
Nan Ho had kept his head lowered, bracing himself against her reaction. Even so, the savagery of her words surprised him. He swallowed and keeping his head low, looked past her at the girls.
"My master said to bring them here this morning. I was to . . ."
Her shriek cut him off. "Do you expect me to believe that, Nan Ho? That on the morning of his return my husband would have two such—lout sorts brought to him?" She shuddered and shook her head, her teeth bared. "No ... I don't know what your plan is, Master Nan, but I know one thing, I can no longer trust you in your present position."
He jerked his head up, astonished, but before he could utter a word in his defense, Fei Yen had whirled about and stormed across to where the two girls stood.
"And you!" she began. "I know your sort! Turtles eating barley, that's what you are! Good-for-nothings! You hope to rise on your backs, neh?"
The last word was spat out venomously. But Fei Yen was far from finished.
"You! Pearl Heart. . . that's your name, isn't it?"
Overwhelmed by the viciousness of the attack, Pearl Heart could only manage a slight bob of her head. Her throat was dry and her hands trembled.
"I know why you're here. Don't think I'm blind to it. But the little game's over, my girl. For you and your pimp here." Fei Yen shuddered, pain and an intense anger emphasizing every word. "I know you've been sleeping with my husband."
Pearl Heart looked up, dismayed, then bowed her head quickly, frightened by the look in Fei Yen's eyes.
"Well? Admit it!"
"It is true, my Lady . . ." she began, meaning to explain, but Fei Yen's slap sent her sprawling back onto the couch. She sat, looking up at Fei Yen, her eyes wide with shock. Sweet Rose was sobbing now, her whole frame shaking.
Fei Yen's voice hissed at her menacingly. "Get out... All of you . . . Get out!"
Pearl Heart struggled up, then stumbled forward, taking her sister's arm as she went, almost dragging her from the room, her own tears flowing freely now, her sense of shame unbearable. Li Yuan . . . How her heart ached to see him now, to have him hold her and comfort her. But it was gone. Gone forever. And nothing but darkness lay ahead of them.
BACK IN HER ROOMS, Fei Yen stood looking about her sightlessly, the blackness lodged in her head like a storm trapped between high mountains. For a while she raged, inarticulate in her grief, rushing about the room uncontrollably, smashing and breaking, the pent-up anger pouring out of her in grunting, shrieking torrents. Then she calmed and sat on the edge of the huge bed, her respiration normalizing, her pulse slowing. Again she looked about her, this time with eyes that moved, surprised, between the broken shapes that lay littered about the room.
She wanted to hurt him. Hurt him badly, just as he had hurt her. But a part of her knew that that was not the way. She must be magnanimous. She must swallow her hurt and pay him back with loving kindness. Her revenge would be to enslave him. To make him need her more than he needed anything in the whole of Chung Kuo. More than life itself.