She was also thinking of that boy in Prague. She was no wiser a week later, but her eyes were a little more open, and she was beginning to understand how ridiculous she had looked among those gray, historically miserable people with her dollars and her American smile and her little trinket of communist kitsch. She didn’t want to be like that anymore. She, like Emmett, wanted to be someone who’d seen things, and not just on television. She was beginning to think of her friends in Boston as cloistered, just as she had been. While her courage faltered occasionally, she knew that she wanted to be different from them. She wanted to be authentic. She wanted to know. She said, “Sure, hon. Let’s go look at a war.”
5
Thursday was full of visitors. Fiona was ready with coffee and eggs when Sophie rose around noon, and soon afterward Mary Saunders, the ambassador, called to tell her that everything was being done to track down the cretin who had shot Emmett. “Like what?” Sophie asked.
Perhaps noting the tone in her voice, the ambassador hesitated. Or maybe this was just Sophie’s imagination, for she felt as if she’d woken a different woman from the night before. The grief and guilt remained, but she’d woken angry—angry that some thick-necked bastard had been able to walk into a restaurant and end life as she’d known it. She was angry for Emmett, because he hadn’t had the chance for his “little shit” moment, and that was something he had deserved. She was angry with Stan, because she wasn’t sure she believed him, and she was livid with Zora Balašević, who had destroyed her marriage long before that gunman had destroyed Emmett. Most of all, she was angry with herself for being so much less than she could have been.
Mary Saunders listed the law enforcement and security agencies who were “on top of this” and told her that she should expect to have to answer some questions for them. “Of course,” Sophie said, “but is this a two-way street?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are they going to answer my questions?”
“I’m sure they’ll be as helpful as they can be, Sophie.”
Afterward, she received a call from Harry Wolcott—a colleague of Emmett’s in Cairo, and Stan’s Agency boss. He offered breathy, muddled condolences. Sophie appreciated that the man was emotional and confused, but that wasn’t much use to her now. She wanted answers—and if not answers, then at least the feeling that people she trusted knew what was going on. She’d lived in the diplomatic corps long enough to know that just because people act as if they understand the world, it doesn’t mean they know it any better than you do.
After she hung up, Glenda appeared at the front door, her dark, wiry hair out of sorts, claiming to have been accosted by a journalist, though when they looked out the window there was no sign of paparazzi. “But it has made the news,” she told them as she crouched in her short skirt, long-legged on insecure heels, and turned on CNN, where they saw a picture of Emmett from when he first arrived in Budapest. A newscaster mentioned “sketchy details” and a “Hungarian restaurant” and an “unknown assailant.” A talking head gave some noncommittal words on what this could mean for American-Hungarian relations (“Nothing,” he finally admitted). There was no mention of Sophie, just the banner headline MURDER IN BUDAPEST. The embassy, Fiona Vale guessed aloud, was working overtime to keep her out of the news cycle.
Glenda held her hand and whispered lovingly that she was going to take care of her. Fiona disappeared to make calls—babysitting, Sophie suspected, wasn’t her actual job, and her work was probably piling up. Then Gerry Davis, pink and clean in a perfectly pressed greatcoat, arrived to take her through more of his vision of the future. She couldn’t help but admire the way he was able to act as tragedy’s soothsayer.
There were funeral arrangements to be made, but she wasn’t to worry—the embassy was taking care of the details. After an inquest (“Sorry, this is required, but we’ll deal with it”), Emmett’s body would be sent back to Massachusetts and the family plot near Amherst. Would she like to fly back with him? “Of course,” she answered without even considering the question. Twenty minutes later, Gerry Davis told her that there was a first-class reservation for tomorrow, Air France to Boston via Paris, with her name on it.
The Hungarian police were scheduled to visit at four, but beforehand, Gerry Davis said, some folks from the embassy wanted to have a word with her. It turned out they were already in the apartment, drinking coffee in the kitchen with Fiona. Two tall men wandered in, smiling stiffly, and asked Glenda if she would please step out for a little while. (Glenda’s Hell no caught in her throat once she realized they were spies.) They introduced themselves, but their given names passed Sophie by. She referred to them by their surnames: Reardon and Strauss.
Reardon took the lead. He was bald on top, cropped short on the sides, and blushed whenever the subject made a turn toward the personal. Strauss was younger, early thirties, and more dark than his name would have suggested. He used both thumbs to type notes into his BlackBerry.
Reardon said, “Did your husband share information about his work?”
“Not usually, no.”
“But you know what he did?”
“He was a deputy consul,” she said. “He worked under Ray—Raymond Bennett, the consul—sometimes taking over his schedule, meeting with Hungarian officials and businessmen. That sort of thing.”
Reardon nodded—he knew this already. Of course he knew this. “We’re looking into it now—whether some part of his job led to this incident. If, however, the cause is rooted in something else, something more personal, then perhaps you would know about it.” He was already blushing.
Yugoslavia, 1991.
Zora Balašević.
A disloyal wife.
But all she said was “I have no idea.”
There were more questions—Emmett’s friends, his extracurricular activities, his business interests—but they were softball compared to the lie she’d begun the conversation with: She had plenty of ideas, too many ideas.
Reardon and Strauss were attentive, but not suspicious, and as they talked Sophie began to relax, describing her and Emmett’s shared life to them. It was almost comforting speaking these things aloud, and by the time they stood and handed her their cards she was feeling a warm wave of nostalgia. The anger had slipped away, and she only wanted Emmett back. She gave them thankful smiles, but Glenda gave them another face, for she was in hysterics again, furious that they’d kept her away from Sophie for a full forty minutes.
Fiona was manning the phone in the kitchen, which was by then ringing off the hook. Journalists. Each time, Sophie heard a single ring, then Fiona’s cold voice saying, “Kohl residence,” and then lowering to a whisper as she got rid of them. Around two, though, she came in and announced that Emmett’s parents were on the line.
Why hadn’t she thought to call them?
Though his mother cried nonstop, neither of them blamed her. They believed that they understood what Sophie was going through, and they simply wanted to know how she was holding up. They were good people, she realized, as if she had never truly known it before. Once she was finished with them, she called her own parents. They were at the cabin in West Virginia and had no access to the news. After the shock, they were much the same as Emmett’s parents, but without so many tears. They were just happy that she was the one still breathing. “Come home,” her father told her, and she said that she would see them soon.