For a moment there was something in his eyes that reminded her of a stricken animal, then it was gone. "I- I guess I lost it," he stammered.
She touched his forehead. "Are you sure you haven't a fever?"
"I think you'd better go up to bed, son," his father said.
"Yes, Father." He turned to his mother and kissed her. "Good night," he said and went quickly into the house.
"I wonder what's the matter with him?"
Harrison Marlowe snorted. "I know what's the matter with him."
"You do?"
He nodded. "He's spoiled, that's what. He's so used to having everything the way he wants it, he sulks when he has to do a little thing like chaperon his sister. He's angry because he couldn't sit over in the Randall's yard and spoon with Tommy's cousin Joan."
"Harry, you're being horrid!"
"No I’m not," he said. "Take it from me. I know boys. What he needs is a little discipline." He began to pack his pipe. "And you're doing the same with Rina. Giving her everything she wants. She'll be spoiled soon, too."
"I know what's bothering you," she said. "You just don't like the idea of them growing up. You'd like to keep them children forever."
"No. But you have to admit they are spoiled."
"Maybe they are a little," she admitted.
He smiled. "Well, anyway, it's a good thing they'll be going back to school next month. Barrington's good for Laddie."
"Yes," she agreed. "And I'm glad Rina's been accepted at Jane Vincent's school. They'll make a little lady out of her."
For Laddie, it was a summer of pain and torture, of wild physical sensation and excruciating, conscience-stricken agonies. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he was afraid to look at her in the mornings and then, when he saw her, he couldn't bear to let her out of his sight. Jealous tortures flamed inside him when he saw her smiling or talking to other boys. Visions born of his knowledge of her would fill his mind and he could see them with her the way he had been. An uneasy, frightened contentment would steal through him when they were together.
And lurking all the while in the deep recesses of his mind was the fear – the fear of discovery, the fear of seeing the hurt and shock and loathing come to the faces of his parents once they knew.
But when she looked at him, smiled at him, touched him, all that was suddenly gone and he would do anything in the world to please her. He abased himself, groveled before her, wept with the agony of his self-flagellation. Then the fear would return. Because there was no escaping the fact. She was his sister. It was wrong.
It was with a feeling of relief that he saw the crazy summer come to an end. It was over, he thought. Away from her, he would be able to find himself again, to control the fevers that she set raging in his blood. When they would come again to the beach next summer, it would be different. He would be different, she would be different.
No more, he would say to her. No more. It's wrong.
That was what he believed when he returned to school at the end of that summer.
7
"I’M PREGNANT," SHE SAID. "I’M GOING TO HAVE a baby."
Laddie felt a dull ache spread over him. Somehow, this was the way he'd always known it would turn out. Ever since that first summer two years ago. He looked up at her, squinting his eyes against the sun. "How do you know?"
She spoke quietly, as if she were just talking about the weather. "I’m late," she said simply. "I've never been late before."
He looked down at his hands. They were sun-darkened against the white sand. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," she answered. Her white-blond hair glittered in the sunlight as she turned and looked out at the ocean. "If nothing happens by tomorrow, I guess I'll have to tell Mother."
"Will you- will you tell her about us?"
"No," she said swiftly, in a low voice. She picked the next question from his lips. "I'll tell her it was Tommy, or Bill, or Joe," she answered, still not looking at him.
Despite himself, he felt a twinge of jealousy. "Did you- with all of them?" he asked hesitantly.
Her dark eyes fixed on his own now. "No," she said emphatically. "Of course not. Only with you."
"What if she talks to them? Then she'll know you're lying."
"She won't," Rina said positively. "Especially when I tell her I don't know which one it was."
He stared at her. In so many ways, she was older than he. "What do you think she'll do?"
Rina shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. There's not very much she can do, I guess."
He watched her walk down the beach to meet some friends, then rolled over in the sand and placed his head on his arms. He groaned aloud. It had happened. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had always known it would. He remembered the night just a few short weeks ago.
They had come down to the beach that summer as they did every year. But this time, it was going to be different. He had sworn it to himself. And he had told her, too.
"No more," he said. "It's stupid, it's kid stuff. You stick to your friends and I’ll stick to mine. We'll only get in trouble if we keep it up."
She had agreed. Even promised. And he had to admit she had kept her word. It was he who had broken his vow. And all because of that damned bottle of orange pop.
It had been a rainy afternoon and they were alone in the cottage. It was hot and humid and the air clung heavily to his body, sheathing it in an invisible choking blanket. His shirt and trousers were wringing with perspiration when he went into the kitchen. He opened the icebox but the usual bottle of orange pop he kept there was gone. He closed the icebox door angrily.
He went upstairs and past her open door before his mind absorbed what his eyes had seen. He walked back and stood in the open doorway. She was naked on the bed, half reclining, the bottle of orange pop in her hand. She was staring at it intently.
He felt the pulse begin to hammer in his head, the perspiration break out anew beneath his clothing. "What are you doing with my orange pop?" he asked. He knew he sounded stupid, even as he spoke.
She moved her head slightly on the pillow and looked at him. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and hazy. "Drinking it," she answered huskily, putting it to her mouth. "What do you think?"
The soda overflowed her mouth and ran in orange driblets down her cheeks, across her breasts to the convex of her belly and onto the white sheet. She smiled at him and held out the bottle. "Want some?"
As if he were someone else, he saw himself cross the room and lift the bottle to his lips. It was warm from her touch. He felt the sweetness of the liquid spill into his mouth. He looked down at her.
She was smiling up at him. 'You're excited," she said softly. "And you said you wouldn't be any more. But you are."
Some of the orange soda spilled down across his shirt as he suddenly realized he had betrayed himself. He turned to go but her hand caught him around the thigh. He almost screamed with the sudden inflaming agony of her touch.
"Just this once more," she whispered. "And then never again."
He stood frozen, afraid to move, afraid he would stumble and fall because of the trembling within him. "No," he said hoarsely.
"Please," she whispered, her fingers opening, searching.
He stood there as if paralyzed. An anguished moan came from deep within him. There would be no more of this, no more humiliation, no more groveling before her. This time she would learn to leave him alone.
With one hand, he seized her wrists and bent her back to the bed. Her eyes were still confident, still unafraid as they watched him. Suddenly, he pressed his lips to hers. Her mouth was warm and moist and still tasted of the orange soda. Then he moved his head and his lips were traveling down her body, across her throat, over her breasts.
It was then she began to fight him. "No!" she whispered, writhing away from him. "No! Don't touch me!"