I laughed. “It’s not a date.”
She clapped her hands. “I knew it! You’ve had your eye on him for a long time. I knew his grandfather, you know. He was a lovely man, too.”
“Well, don’t have a cow, it’s just dinner. It’s not like we’re going to live happily ever after. In fact, I’m seriously thinking about canceling it completely. I’m not ready for anything serious, and it’s not right to lead him on.”
Cora’s smile fell away, and she set her cup down with a little clinking sound against the saucer. “Dixie, you think those people chose to leave you?”
“Huh?”
She reached out and laid her hand on top of mine. “You think love can’t last, is that what it is? That anybody that loves you will eventually leave?”
“Cora…” I couldn’t finish. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. I knew exactly what she was getting at.
“Dixie, sometimes our minds believe things our hearts know aren’t true. You’ve had a rough go of it, so I can’t blame you, but it’s time to put all that behind you.”
I dabbed at my eyes with my napkin and tried to compose myself while she tore off another piece of bread and smoothed some butter on it. She was right. I think there was a part of me that was beginning to wonder if I would ever be able to hang on to anything that I loved. First my father, then my mother, then my daughter and my husband, and then Guidry …
“You can’t go on being mad at everyone that’s ever hurt you. At some point you just have to forgive them.”
I said, “I’m not mad at anyone.”
“Oh, sweetheart, of course you are. For years I was mad at my own granddaughter for leaving me. And she was murdered! Certainly wasn’t her fault. But that doesn’t make any difference. It’s just natural human feelings, but you can’t live the rest of your life all swaddled up and protected. Sooner or later you have to forgive. You have to let that anger go or your heart will just dry right up.”
I nodded silently. I knew she was right, but I wasn’t sure how I could just let all of it go. We watched the boats out on the ocean sail by, and after a little while I said, “I think maybe I’m just a little scared, too.”
“Well, let’s talk about that. What are you scared of?”
“You know, you have to make such big sacrifices to be in love, and I like my life the way it is. I have all my friends and my family and my pets to take care of. But when you’re with someone, you have to do all kinds of things to make it work. You have to compromise and share and change.”
Cora fixed me with her clear blue eyes. “Dixie, those are all good things.” She smiled mischievously. “And as I recall, that Ethan Crane fellow is about as delicious as…” She waved a piece of chocolate bread in the air and popped it in her mouth.
17
It was exactly two minutes after eight. I was wearing my purple dress and standing next to Ethan, or to be exact, I was wearing my purple dress and teetering next to Ethan on my three-inch high-heel shoes.
We were watching the waiters set our table. It was next to the window, but with a perfect view of the entire candlelit dining room. There were sparkling wineglasses and silverware on all the tables, which were covered in crisp white linen. As we followed the hostess in, I noticed more than a few people watching us with knowing looks. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was they were all knowing, but I felt happy and proud to be seen in public with a man as stunning as Ethan.
His fingertips were on the small of my back, and I suddenly had the strongest feeling of déjà vu I’ve ever had in my life.
When we sat down, a young man handed us menus, telling us his name was Paolo and that he would be our waiter for the evening. I ran my eyes up and down the menu a couple of times before I realized it was all in Spanish and I wasn’t comprehending a single word of it. I peeked over my menu to see if Ethan was doing any better.
As usual, just looking at him made me a little short of breath. He was wearing a dark fitted jacket over a crisp white shirt and a narrow lavender tie. With his thick locks of curly black hair and high cheekbones, he looked like a silent-film star. There were tiny beads of sweat on his forehead, and I realized with a twinge in my heart that he was just as nervous as I was.
He looked up and caught me spying on him. “You look amazing, by the way.”
I rolled my eyes and retreated back behind my menu. I felt like a complete and utter idiot, but in a good way.
A stocky man with a handlebar mustache and a white dinner jacket set two glasses of red wine on the table. Ethan immediately jumped out of his seat, and the two men bear-hugged and slapped each other’s backs.
Ethan said, “This is my very good friend Alfred.”
“You must be Dixie,” he said, taking both of my hands in his. He spoke with a slight Spanish accent. “It is so very nice to meet you. Welcome to Yolanda. Ethan has told me all about you—I was beginning to think he had made you up, so I am very glad to finally meet you in the flesh.”
Ethan blushed and nudged Alfred. “This is Alfred’s restaurant. We were roommates at law school.”
I said, “This place is beautiful. You must be very proud.”
He nodded. “Thank you. My mama, she loved to cook. When I was a little boy, I used to sit for hours and watch her all day long. Those were the happiest times. Then one day I am a lawyer. I am at work, I have a pile of files on my desk and phone calls and pressure, and I hear my mama’s voice in my head, ‘What are you doing sitting there all day? Go out and play!’ and that’s when I knew I didn’t want to sit behind a desk anymore. Now, here we are.” He slid the wineglasses to the center of the table. “These are for you two lovebirds, and while you look at the menu I will bring you our special appetizer of the evening.”
He winked at Ethan and rushed away.
Ethan raised his glass. “Cheers.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Lovebirds?”
He blushed again. “Yeah, I have no idea where he’s getting that, I swear.”
Our glasses touched. Suddenly all my doubts about Ethan melted away. There was something about just being in his presence that made me feel completely comfortable and safe. Whether it was love or lust or loneliness or all three combined, I didn’t care. It just felt right.
Alfred returned shortly with a small silver plate and set it on the table with a flourish. There were two golf-ball-sized mounds of what looked like bright, kelly green scoops of ice cream.
Ethan said, “What is it?”
Alfred whispered conspiratorially, as though he had prepared it especially for us, “It is sorbet, but not sweet. Spicy! It is my own creation, made of peppers from my own hometown of Padrón.”
I had never in my life seen such a thing, but I had to admit it looked absolutely scrumptious.
Ethan said, “Green pepper sorbet? Really?”
“Trust me,” Albert said, giving each of us a spoon. “It is delicious!”
Ethan looked at me, a little hesitant. “Well, I’m game if you are.”
I dipped my spoon into one of the mounds and tried it. There was an immediate tangy sweetness, almost like a key lime, and then there was a good spicy kick. It literally put a smile on my face.
I nodded at Ethan as I scooped up another spoonful. “Oh my gosh, it’s so good. Alfred, you’re a genius.”
Alfred smiled at me and folded his burly arms across his chest. “I am always telling him this, but he doesn’t believe me. You Americans, you are always afraid to try new things.”
I tried to impress him with my worldliness. “It’s such a beautiful color of green, too—the same color as René the Frog.”
Ethan looked puzzled. “René the Frog?”
I glanced up at Alfred for support, but he looked just as confused as Ethan. I said, “You know, like Kermit the Frog, but in Spain you call him René.”
Alfred nodded. “Oh yes! Kermit the Frog! But in Spain, we do not call him René. We call him Gustavo.”