"Mother, this is no time for hysteria. I have to think!" She rose and took a step toward the wall of leaves, hands claspedtogether at her waist, face contorted with the effort to overcomeher shock and think coherently. "I'm no Donor, but he kepthimself from hurting me."
"Well, that's a relief! Then he didn't actually do it?"
"He almost did, but he stopped himself. I couldn't breakloose, he let me go, Mama," she asked, eyes fixed on thewall between her and Yone, "are all channels like ... him?"
Mrs. Jeter got to her feet and went around in front of Livya totake her shoulders and shake her gently, "Oh, Liv, baby,what has he done to you? The Channel's Exemption is law, so wecan't sue that filthy beast for trying to do that. But we canhate him for it. The Simes can't endure hate. If you hate themenough, they'll stay away from you."
"Hate? Mama, he could have done with me whatever he wanted,and he had the legal right to do it, but he did not." Helet me go by an act of will over –" she groped for a word"– over want. How can I hate a man with that kind of strength?"
"There's not much else to do, Liv. It's your only protection."
Livya twisted free and backed up. "Maybe there's nothingelse you could do, but what do you think he would do in the samesituation? Just sit in a hole paralyzed with fear and hatred?"
"He's a Sime. What has he got to fear? Or hate?"
"He's a Man, an incredibly powerful human being. He chosenot to do what he wanted to do. I don't know his reason, butI'm sure he had a reason and he followed it even though it hurthim. I've never known you to do anything like that."
Mrs. Jeter shook her head wearily. Livya still looked a littlepale around the lips, and her fingers were cold. "I don'tknow what's gotten into you, Liv, but I'm going to ask Mr. Flickfor protection. That Sime won't be able to get near you alone."
"That's what you always do, run and hide behind somebody's'protection.' I don't need anybody to protect me, least of allfrom a man like Yone Farris!"
"From a man, maybe not, but from a slimy snake of a –"
"Once and for all, Mother, I'm telling you that I felt themand they ... ARE ... NOT ... SLIMY!" Her words came outa fierce whisper though she wanted to shout. She'd been toldso often that the Sime tentacles were slimy that, at first, shehad felt slime. Only later had she been able to calm down andanalyze the sensation. Her choking anger was in part at her motherfor the untruth and in part at herself for being fooled by it.
"Livya Jeter, haven't I taught you better respect than tocontradict your mother? You're only a child. You don't knowwhat you're saying."
"I felt them," she repeated, cooler now. "Theyare not slimy. What else have you taught me that's wrong?"
"Livya!" She recoiled, shocked. "I'm your mother!"
Turning on her heel, Livya walked out from between the branchesthat isolated them from the main group. Her mother followed,and as they emerged they heard voices to their left. Cheryl Inikar,too, had heard the men's voices raised in brittle anger, and shecame striding past them straight for the area to their left whereBrian Inikar tended Yone. Drawn irresistibly, Livya, trailedafter Cheryl around the end of the branch.
Yone had struggled to his feet and though he sagged like a manbeaten in a fight, he faced off against Brian spitting words likebullets. "YOU. I. Forbid. To. Touch. Me!"
Brian sighed hugely and picked up his hat, slapping it againsthis knee to dust it off. Livya had only a moment to realize thatYone had used none of the filthy epithets, the handy labels andmeaningless catch phrases with which everybody else addressedthe Distect conspirators.
Then Cheryl started toward Yone, finally stung to a tearful rage. "You ungrateful savage! If it weren't for Brian you'd bedead right now. You can't possibly think that bumbling incompetentAlamain could have done what Brian –"
Her husband stopped her advance with one out-flung arm and turnedher to him. "Forget it, Cheryl. How else would you expecta Tecton channel to behave? He'll be all right now, for awhileat least." He turned to Yone. "You better get Alamainto finish the job I started for you or you'll be in convulsionsby midnight."
"I don't require your advice."
Brian's lips compressed briefly over a retort, but then he relaxedand said gently, "You may hate me, but you're alive so we'veall still got a chance to survive." He turned to his wifeand walked back the way she had come. When they reached Livyaand her mother, Brian stopped to look down at the girl with atrace of sourness.
Livya tilted her head back, and for the first time since beingmarooned with the Distect convicts, she examined his face. Brianwas a tall, lanky Gen with a face to match. But what she sawin those narrow features was a kind of hard-bitten integrity incongruousin an outlaw. And it was coupled with self-control not unlikethat she'd found in Yone.
When he spoke, his voice was low-pitched, roughened by suppressedemotion. "You. You ought to be ashamed for what you didto him. But it's not surprising, considering your upbringing!" He raked Evelyn Jeter with a glance of unfathomable contemptand took his wife on toward the spot where the other Distect convictswere gathering.
For long moments afterwards, Livya stood in a paralysis of mixedemotions, not hearing her mother's voice or seeing Yone pullinghimself together to face the next task. She knew only that BrianInikar, the one man who had every reason to feel shame beforelaw-abiding folk such as herself had the incredible power to makeher feel guilty. Not only that, but he had selected the one insultwhich she had never been able to ignore urbanely – that she waswhat she was because of some external influence and not by herown choice.
Swamped by this nameless guilt, she was unable to defend herselfagainst the insult and instead searched inwardly for the causeof her shame. How could saving myself be wrong? But at whatprice? He looked like death! I'm not responsible for that. Brian Inikar thinks so. He's Distect. He's an expert on Simes. But he's a convicted criminal, a conspirator bent on overthrowingthe Tecton! I can't accept his values. Then why do you feelshame and guilt?
Never had she known such confusion in all her seventeen years. She was so intent that she didn't see Valyu Alamain finally makehis way up from the rear of the column and start toward Yone. She didn't see Yone start to walk out to meet his Donor. Thechannel was just suddenly there before her and she had to grasphis words by force of will.
"Miss Jeter, my oath requires that I apologize to you. AndI do offer that formal apology. But I want you to know, in addition,that I am personally shamed by my lapse of control, I have neverregretted any act so much."
Her mother spoke from behind her. "You don't regret it halfas much as you're going to! When we get back, I'll see that theright people learn that you let Brian Inikar –"
"Mother!"
As if realizing for the first time that she was giving the Simea good reason to see that she, at least, didn't get back, EvelynJeter subsided. Livya met the Sime's eyes firmly. And with alittle shock, she realized that in the three months of walkingwith him, depending on him for her very life, she had not exchangedmore than a few words with him. Now, suddenly, she wanted toknow everything about him.
Yone Farris did not look like a typical member of the celebratedFarris family. There was only a shadow of family resemblancearound his fine-sculpted lips, prominent nose, and wide forehead. His skin was lighter than the typical Farris, and his hair wasalmost ash-blond instead of jet black. His face was too youngyet to show character lines, but now it revealed an inner tensionvery much like a man forcing himself "just-one-more-step"beyond endurance. He had, however, the solid black eyes typicalof the Farrises. Those eyes now locked onto her gaze as if hewanted to tell her everything about himself in one word but couldn'tfind the word.