“Of course.”
The landscape started to change on her right. The yellow-white grass cut off at a strangely even border and beyond that, the ground turned to level, bare red dirt. When they started to wind back to the north toward that border, she was surprised to see that the red dirt was actually a riverbank. The water was the same color as the red bank, and it moved smoothly west, without rapids or obstacles. It was about forty feet across at the widest point she could see. She watched the flow of the water as they drove roughly parallel to it, fascinated by its existence here in the middle of the dry grassland. For all its smooth progress, the river seemed to be moving fairly quickly.
There was no fence this time. A crumbling-down barn, grayed by the sun, sat about fifty yards from the road, looking as if it had reached the end of its very long life and was only waiting for the right weather system to put it out of its misery. She’d seen hundreds just like it on their quick tour through Arkansas and Oklahoma.
It was nowhere near as nice as her milking barn.
Kevin turned toward it, driving right through the grass now; she couldn’t see any official road or pathway.
She waited in the running car while he jumped out to unlock the massive antique padlock and swing the doors open. Outside, in the brilliant light of the open, cloudless sky, it was impossible to see anything inside the murky interior. He was back quickly to drive the car into the darkness.
This time, the inside matched the outside’s promise. Dim light filtered through the slats of the barn to illuminate piles of corroded farm equipment, most of a rusted tractor, the shells of a few ancient cars, and a massive stack of dusty hay in the back, half covered with a tarp. Nothing worth stealing, or even examining more closely. If anyone bothered to break in here, the only valuable thing he would find was shade.
When the engine cut off, she thought she could just make out the rush of the river. They couldn’t be more than a couple hundred yards away from it.
“This will work,” she said. “I’ll stick my stuff in a corner and you can use this car when you head back.”
“Roger that.”
She piled her four rectangular duffels into a shadowy crevice, partially hidden behind a stack of spiderwebbed firewood. The webs were dusty.
Kevin was rummaging near a pile of blackened metal – maybe parts for another tractor – and came back with a tattered old tarp, which he spread over her bags.
“Nice touch,” she approved.
“It’s all in the presentation.”
“I guess you haven’t gotten around to fixing this place up yet,” Daniel commented, one hand on the closest car shell.
“I kind of like it how it is,” Kevin said. “Let me give you a tour. Just in case you need something while I’m gone. Which you won’t. But still.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Overpreparation is the key to success. It’s kind of my mantra.”
“Then you’ll love this,” Kevin said.
He walked to the half-tractor and bent down to fiddle with the lug nuts in the center of the huge flat tire.
“There’s a keypad behind this hubcap.” He spoke directly to Daniel. “The code is our birthday. Not too original, but I wanted you to be able to remember it easily. Same combination for the lock on the outside door.”
A second later, the entire front face of the tire swung outward – it wasn’t made of rubber, it was something stiffer and lighter, and it moved on hinges. Inside, an arsenal.
“Oh, yes,” she breathed. “Batcave.”
She immediately spotted a SIG Sauer that matched the gun she’d briefly stolen from him. He really didn’t need two.
Kevin gave her a puzzled look. “Batman doesn’t use guns.”
“Whatever.”
Daniel was examining the hinges on the hidden door. “This is very clever. Did Arnie make it?”
“No, I did, thanks.”
“I didn’t know you were handy. And when did you have the chance to do this, what with toppling cartels and all that?”
“Downtime between jobs. I can’t sit still or I go crazy.”
He closed up the fake tire and then gestured to the car shell near where Daniel had been standing before. “Lift the top of the battery and type in the same code. That one’s rifles, the next is rocket launchers and grenades.”
Daniel laughed, then caught his brother’s expression. “Wait, really?”
“She likes preparation; I like to be extremely well armed. Okay, now, this one I couldn’t hide so well, and anyway, it’s the kind of thing I might need quickly.”
Kevin walked around the side of the massive hay tower, and they followed. The tarp hung to the ground on this side. She was pretty confident she knew at least the category of what he was hiding here, and sure enough, he lifted the tarp to reveal a cozy garage behind the hay with a very large vehicle wedged inside. From the way he stood, it was obviously his pride and joy.
“There’s a truck back at the ranch that blends in, but this is here in case of emergencies.”
Daniel made a small noise like a hiccup. Alex glanced at him and realized he was trying not to laugh. She got the joke immediately.
They had both dealt with DC traffic for years, though he more recently. And despite the congestion and tight parking options that were more suited for a Vespa than a medium-size sedan, there was always that one guy trying to shove his gigantic compensation-mobile into a parallel slot. As if anyone needed a Hummer anywhere, let alone in the city. You might as well just get a vanity plate that read D-BAG and be done with it.
When Daniel saw her mouth twitch, he lost his own control. Suddenly he was snorting with laughter. It was an awkward, infectious heh-heh-snort-heh-heh that was much funnier than the military monster truck. She started chortling along, surprised at how out of control the laughter felt almost immediately. She hadn’t laughed big like this in so long; she’d forgotten how it grabbed your whole body and wouldn’t let go.
Daniel had one hand on the hay while he bent over, the other hand on his side like he had a stitch. It was the funniest thing she’d ever seen.
“What?” Kevin demanded. “What?”
Daniel tried to calm himself to answer, but then a sudden burst of giggles from Alex derailed him, and he guffawed again, gasping for air between outbursts.
“This is a state-of-the-art assault vehicle,” Kevin complained, half shouting to be heard over their frenzied hilarity. “It has solid rubber tires and missile-proof glass. There are panels through the whole body that a tank can’t crush. This thing could save your life.”
He was just making it worse. Tears streamed down both their faces. Alex’s lip was protesting and her cheeks ached. Daniel was hiccupping for real now, unable to straighten up.
Kevin threw up his hands in disgust and stomped away from them.
They busted up again.
Finally, several long minutes after Kevin had disappeared, Alex started to be able to breathe. Daniel’s laughter was trailing off as well, though he was still holding his side. She could sympathize; she had a cramp, too. Oddly exhausted, she sat down on the hay-strewn floor and put her head between her knees, working to even out her breathing. After a second, she felt Daniel settle next to her. His hand came to rest lightly on her back.
“Ah, I needed that.” He sighed. “It was starting to feel like nothing would ever be really funny again.”
“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that. My stomach hurts.”
“Mine too.” And then he laughed another heh-heh-heh.
“Don’t start,” she begged.
“Sorry, I’ll try. I might be a little hysterical.”
“Huh. Maybe we should slap each other.”
He laughed another burst, and she couldn’t help but giggle.
“Stop,” she moaned.
“Should we talk about sad things?” he wondered.