“I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
“Because we’d both end up dead.”
“Yes, we would! If they come for me, you run.”
He laughed. “Agree to disagree.”
“Daniel -”
“Let me tell you what else I see when I look at you.”
Her shoulders hunched automatically. “Tell me the worst thing you see.”
He sighed, then reached out to gently lay his fingertips along her cheekbone. “These bruises. They break my heart. But, in a really twisted and wrong way, I’m sort of grateful for them. How shameful is that?”
“Grateful?”
“Well, if my idiot bully of a brother hadn’t beaten you up, you would have disappeared, and I would have had no way to ever find you again. Because of your injuries, you needed our help. You stayed with me.”
His expression when he said the last four words was very unsettling. Or maybe it was his fingers lingering on her skin.
“Now can I tell you what else I see?”
She stared at him warily.
“I see a woman who is more… real than any other woman I’ve ever met. You make every other person I’ve known seem insubstantial, somehow incomplete. Like shadows and illusions. I loved my wife, or rather – as you so insightfully pointed out while I was high – I loved my idea of who she was. I truly did. But she was never as there to me as you are. I’ve never been drawn to someone the way I am to you, and I have been from the very first moment I met you. It’s like the difference between… between reading about gravity and then falling for the first time.”
They stared at each other for what felt like hours but could have been minutes or even seconds. His hand, at first just touching her cheekbone with the very tips of his fingers, slowly relaxed down until his palm was cradling her jaw. His thumb brushed across her lower lip with a pressure so light, she wasn’t totally sure she hadn’t imagined it.
“This is entirely irrational on every level,” she whispered.
“Don’t kill me, please?”
She might have nodded.
He put his other hand on her face – so softly that despite her bruises there was no hint of pain. It was just live current, like the way a plasma globe must feel from the inside.
She started to remind herself, as his lips pressed gently against hers, that she was not thirteen years old and this was not her first kiss, so really… then his hands moved into her hair and held her mouth more firmly against his, his lips opened, and she couldn’t even finish the thought. She couldn’t think how the words were supposed to string together.
She gasped – just a tiny puff of breath – and he pulled his face an inch back, still holding her head secure in his long hands.
“Did I hurt you?”
She couldn’t remember how to say Just keep kissing me, so instead she stretched up on her tiptoes to throw her arms around his neck and pull him closer. He was not unwilling to comply.
He must have felt the drag in her arms, or his back was protesting the considerable difference in their heights; he grabbed her waist and swung her up onto the island counter, never breaking the contact between their lips. Reflexively, her legs wrapped around his hips at the same time that his arms pulled tight around her torso, so their bodies were warmly fused together. Her fingers twisted themselves into his hair, and she was finally able to admit to herself that she had always been attracted to these unruly curls, that she’d secretly enjoyed running her fingers through them while he was unconscious in a way that was totally unprofessional.
There was something honest and so Daniel about the kiss, as if his personality – along with his scent and taste – was a part of the electricity humming back and forth between them. She started to understand what he’d been saying before, about how she was real to him. He was something new to her, an entirely new experience. It was like her first kiss, because no kiss had ever been so vivid, so much stronger than her own analytical mind. She didn’t have to think.
It felt amazing not to think.
Everything was just kissing Daniel, like there had never been another purpose for breathing in and out.
He kissed her throat, her temple, the top of her head. He cradled her face against his neck and sighed.
“It feels like I’ve been waiting a century to do that. It’s like time has lost all continuity. Every second with you outweighs days of life before I met you.”
“This shouldn’t be so easy.” Once he’d stopped kissing her, she could think again. She wished she didn’t have to.
He tilted her chin up. “What do you mean?”
“Shouldn’t there be some… awkwardness? Noses bumping, all that. I mean, it’s been a while for me, but that’s how I remember it.”
He kissed her nose. “Normally, yes. But this hasn’t been a normal thing in any facet.”
“I don’t understand how this could happen. The odds are astronomically against it. You were just the random bait they put in a trap for me. And then, coincidentally, you just happen to be exactly…” She didn’t know how to finish.
“Exactly what I want,” he said, and he leaned in to kiss her again. He pulled back too soon. “I’ll admit,” he continued, “it’s not a bet I would have taken.”
“Your chances at winning the lottery would be better.”
“Do you believe in fate?”
“Of course not.”
He laughed at her scornful tone. “I guess karma is out, too, then?”
“Neither of those things is real.”
“Can you prove that?”
“Well, not conclusively, no. But no one can prove they are real, either.”
“Then you’ll just have to accept that this is the world’s most unlikely coincidence. I, however, think there is some balance in the universe. We’ve both been treated unfairly. Maybe this is our balance.”
“It’s irrational -”
He cut her off, his lips making her forget instantly what she had been about to say. He kissed along the skin of her cheekbone till he got to her ear.
“Rationality is overrated,” he whispered.
Then his mouth was moving with hers again, and she couldn’t help but agree. This was better than logic.
“You’re not off the hook for Indochine,” he murmured.
“Huh?”
“The movie. I endangered our lives to acquire it, the least you can do is -”
This time, she didn’t let him finish.
“Tomorrow,” he said when they came up for air.
“Tomorrow,” she agreed.
CHAPTER 16
Alex woke up the next day feeling both full of anticipation and also very, very stupid.
Honestly, it was like she couldn’t complete a solid paragraph of thought without going back to some piece of Daniel’s face, or the texture of his hands, or the way his breath felt against her throat. And of course, that was where the feeling of anticipation was coming from.
But there were so many practical matters that simply had to be considered. Last night, or rather this morning, by the time he’d kissed her good night for the hundredth time at the top of the stairs, she’d been too exhausted to think through any of it. She’d barely had the energy to arm her defenses and slip on her gas mask before she passed out.
It was probably a good thing; she’d been too addled then to grasp exactly what madness she’d just embarked on. Even now, it was hard to focus on anything but the fact that Daniel was probably awake somewhere. She was impatient to see him again, and yet also a little frightened. What if the crazy swell of emotion that had felt so natural and irresistible last night had evaporated? What if they were suddenly strangers again, with nothing to say?
That might be easier than if the feeling continued.
Today or tomorrow, or perhaps the next day, Kevin was going to call -