"Master, when the chicks were crying, everything here cried and wept with them. These are Tears of Stone. They seeped through thousands of its pores until they hardened and turned into perfect crystals. I must be the most beautiful castle in the entire AlterWorld now. I wonder, Master, if you wouldn't mind me taking part in this year's exterior design contest? I'm more than sure we'll get first prize."
"Wait! You and your contests! The crystals, do they have stats?"
"Random ones, from +1 to +20 depending on their caliber. But please don't start ripping anything off, I beg you!"
"Or what?" I teased him, repaying him for the moment of anxiety. "You gonna cry too?"
"Dunno..." Lurch whispered.
His voice was filled with so much sadness I felt like a real piece of work. "Not to worry. It is very pretty. You are undoubtedly the nicest castle in the whole of AlterWorld. Just in case, could you please calculate your square surface and the average quantity of gems per square foot? I'd love to know how many gems you've got stuck to you. And if you think you can grade them by size, that would be-"
I shut up midword and grabbed at the bone armrests as the dragon banked in a steep turn and began to land. She zoomed down onto the tower and flapped her wings, damping the speed with their power field. Softly she landed onto the ancient stones.
A powerful surge of emotions threw me out of the saddle. I switched off. No idea how long I was out. When I finally came to, I was sitting on the flagstones with my back against the rough rampart. Lena was fussing around me, shouting, about to raise her hand for an encouraging slap on my cheek. I caught her hand in mid-air and shook my head, returning my thoughts to their usual places. I must have missed something, anyway. The dragon sat on her nest brooding like a chicken, the two fat-bellied chicks squawking happily under her wings.
"How's it going?" I asked, my throat dry and coarse.
"Fine! It's you I was worried about. You just collapsed flat out."
I tried to swallow. "It's all these phantom emotion generators assaulting my brain. I'd love to know why those idiots don't classify emotion amplification as mental attack."
"Excuse me?"
"Never mind. I was talking about an ability I have, a very useful one, too, shame it only works when it wants to."
I pointed at the baby dragons. "Did they cry a lot when I was gone? And by the way, where are all the Dragon's Tears? I thought the tower would be knee-high in them by now?"
"Almost none left!" she beamed. "A couple still left in the corners, maybe. I found how to calm down the chicks so they didn't cry any more!"
"Eh? Oh, shit. You really shouldn't have. So they'd have sniffled for another half-hour, big deal. That was millions in gold which," I glanced at the cutest chicks, "which we'll never have now."
Lena shrugged, disinterested. "At least they didn't cry. They forget everything when they eat! So I remembered you normally gave baby chicks the egg shells for calcium or whatever, so I gave them some. They gobbled it down like there was no tomorrow!"
"Eh? The egg shells? The gray ones with a funny pattern?"
"Yes! They ate every single bit of them and licked my hands afterwards. How's that for a waste-free production?"
I groaned. "Lena, sweetheart. I had plans for them myself. Really, really big ones."
She shrugged again. "You should've told me. I'm not a mind reader. You should be grateful I've kept your gold and silver. They very nearly ate that, too. It was a good job there was a lot of scrap metal in the nest, so I distracted them with that."
"Which scrap metal?" I grabbed at my head with a groan. I already knew what she meant.
"Sort of purple. Some bent helmets, pieces of tank tracks and a handful of cartridges—they kind of explode in their mouths with those little flames going everywhere, it's so cute. I called the chicks Draky and Craky. You'd never think those tiny things could go through two tons of metal. Only then I noticed that they'd grown double in less than five hours."
I fumbled around me for something to satisfy a sudden urge. The gods in their eternal kindness had sent me exactly what I needed: a long rod (no idea what stray wind had brought it up here). Grabbing it, I scrambled to my feet and offered Lena a knightly hand to help her get up, then gave her a hearty lash across her perfect backside.
"Ouch! What's that for?"
"For those stupid quests of yours!"
"Ouch!"
"And this is for your lack of subordination and attempts to take control!"
"Ouch! Uncle Max, that's enough!"
"For those goddamn eggshells!"
"Ouch! I'll be angry with you!"
"And that's for the two remaining Tears and for the millions lost!"
Shhh, one of the chicks opened a purple eye watching us. A powerful surge of emotion—that felt more like a baseball bat—knocked me over.
"You see, Uncle Max? Now you hurt yourself. You could have fallen off the tower, you know."
"Come here, you! I still owe you for that silver. And another one for the scrap metal. And I'm not your uncle!"
"No way!" she stuck out her tongue. "Don't be so mad, Max," she added with a nice smile. "We all know how kind you are. Thank you so much for finding their mom, we were worried about her."
Quest completion alert: Request of a &#ç$ Priestess. Quest completed!
Reward: a new skill %*#@$#@$$@ ##@$$# @@$$%
"Er, Lena, how do you do it? What kind of skill is that? I can't read a thing."
She shrugged. "No idea. It just happens. I'm off, anyway. Dad needs me."
"Wait!" I managed but she activated her bracelet and was gone with an artful glint in her eye.
"Spare the rod, spoil the child," I whispered. "Discipline is gold."
Enough for today. Time to crawl back into my castle. Bedtime. The rest had to wait till tomorrow. Okay, collecting the Tears probably wouldn't. So collect them I did.
I teleported to the Temple and rushed up the stairs to the inner rooms. Soon I was back in my apartment. Peeling my armor off and stuffing it into my bag, I staggered to the bed and collapsed on top of the comforter.
Weeeeeoooo! the wretched White Winnie squeaked from under my backside.
I jumped straight back to my feet directly out of the prone position. The wretched creature lay in a tangle of sheets, blinking his sleepy eyes at me. Oh-kay. He couldn't have found a better time.
I lunged forward and, not believing my own luck, managed to grab the scruff of his neck. I flung him in the air and gave him an almighty kick that sent him flying like a sleepy football through the window. There! I didn't miss. I'd never managed to do this trick in real life. The receding stream of interjections was broken not by a slap against the flagstones as I'd hoped but by the popping of a portal. Apparently, he'd woken up in midair. Shame.
Was he really hoping to become an unwanted lodger in my bedroom and sleep in my bed? I didn't think so. My picture-perfect idea of family life didn't include any peeping fluffballs. It was time I brought him down a peg.
The clinking of coins dropping into my account awoke me the following morning. I'd forgotten to mute the internal interface. Actually, I found the sounds of gold rather pleasing. I might install them as the alarm clock tone. And in any case, who was it sending me money at 6 a.m.?
Apparently, it was Doc: Here's a hundred grand gold for the Wing Two repairs, plans and drawings attached.
Who did he think I was, his foreman? I forwarded the message to Lurch: Rebuild and refurbish according to the cost sheet. Hire whoever you deem necessary, you know, carpenters, masons, decorators and electricians... What do you mean, what are electricians? Ah, never mind. Were those children ever going to shut up?
Wait. I sat up in bed, listening. Children? That's right. Their thin voices and occasional laughter were coming through the narrow window—so narrow it had been a miracle how I'd managed to hurl Winnie through it last night. The walls' stucco moldings in combination with abundant foliage prevented me from seeing what was going on at the foot of the donjon. I donned some clothes and rushed down the steps.