Yalda stared out across the desert. Who was going to volunteer to ride on this folly if it looked harder to survive than the Hurtlers?
She said, “Please tell me you’re not expecting the travelers to invent their own means of dealing with waste heat.”
“Of course not.”
“So…?”
“I’m planning to divert some of the exhaust gas,” Eusebio said. “Letting it expand and drive a piston while it’s thermally isolated will cool it down and supply some useful energy—then decompressing it further while it’s circulating around the habitation will draw in heat. Most of it will then be released into the void, but some will be used to maintain the pressure in the habitation, which would otherwise decline over time as the original atmosphere leaks out.”
“So you’ll be burning some sunstone for these purposes, even when the rocket isn’t in use?”
“Yes—though compared to the amount used for propulsion it won’t be much.”
Yalda couldn’t fault this scheme, or suggest any obvious refinements, but that wasn’t good enough. “Now that you’ve proved that you have no fear of explosions,” she said, “how about a detour to Amputation Alley?”
Eusebio regarded her suspiciously. “Why?”
“There’s a man there called Cornelio who knows more about heat than either of us. You should ask his advice on this.”
“Can he keep a confidence?”
“I have no idea,” Yalda replied, irritated. Cornelio had always treated her honourably, but she wasn’t going to vouch for his willingness to go along with Eusebio’s whims.
“Never mind,” Eusebio said. “I’ll hire him as a consultant, have him sign a contract.”
Yalda lost patience. “Do you honestly think you can send a whole mountain into the void in secret? Just you, and a few dozen advisers? Maybe you could get that much dead rock off the ground through sheer trial and error, but we’re talking about risking lives! You need the best people in the world to know about this, to think about it—to criticize all your ideas, all your systems, all your strategies. And I do mean the best people, not the best you can afford to put on your payroll and subjugate to a vow of silence.”
“I have enemies,” Eusebio said pointedly. “People who, if they knew of these plans, would happily spend a good part of their own fortune just to see me fail.”
“I don’t care,” Yalda replied coolly, resisting the urge to remind him that she’d suffered far more from his enemies’ pique than he had. “If the travelers are to have any hope of surviving, you’re going to need every biologist, agronomist, geologist, chemist, physicist and engineer on the planet as worried about their fate as you are.”
“And why should they fret about the lives of a few strangers?” Eusebio retorted. “You didn’t seem too eager to spread news of the catastrophe that this trip is intended to forestall.”
“I was wrong,” Yalda admitted. “First I didn’t take my own reasoning seriously, and then I was vain enough to think that if I could see no remedy myself, there was none. You’ve shown me otherwise, and I’m grateful for that. But it can’t end there.”
Eusebio said nothing, his gaze fixed ahead.
“No more silence,” Yalda declared. “I need to make the case for the problem, and you need to make the case for the solution. Let people argue, correct us, support us, tear us down. It’s the only hope we have to get this right.”
When Yalda arrived home Daria was in the apartment, helping Valeria and Valerio infuse some anatomical realism into their sketches of giant lizards laying waste to Zeugma.
“Lizards can rearrange their flesh almost any way they like,” Daria explained, “but they have five favorite postures, which are used in different places for different tasks. If they were on the ground, smashing buildings like this, you can bet they’d have a lot of flesh in their rear legs and their tails. It’s no good drawing them the way they’d look running along a slender twig.”
The children were entranced. Yalda sat and listened, not saying too much, hoping that merely sharing their interest would be read as a sign of affection. When she tried too hard Valeria reacted with scorn, but if she kept her distance she was punished later with accusations of indifference. It was exhausting having to be so calculating about it, but whatever it was that could sometimes make the relationship between a child and their protector almost effortless, it rarely seemed in evidence with Tullia’s children and the three friends who’d agreed to raise them. This was a labor of love, but that didn’t stop it being the hardest thing Yalda had done in her life.
Lidia had taken Amelia and Amelio to the doctor, but they were expected back soon. When the children were asleep tonight, Yalda decided, she would tell Lidia and Daria everything.
They had a right to know the truth—but what if they simply doubted her sanity? Watching Valeria chirping happily as she and Valerio re-drew each other’s lizards in a cascade of jokes and refinements, Yalda felt her own conviction about the peril of the Hurtlers faltering yet again. Whenever she immersed herself in domestic life, instead of apprehending the threat to the people around her more acutely she found herself growing numb and disbelieving. It wasn’t hard to imagine a time when everyone in this household would be gone; with the passage of years that was inevitable. But picturing every woman and every girl that lived having gone the way of men, leaving not a single child to survive them, only made her mind rebel and doubt the entire chain of reasoning that could lead to such an absurd conclusion.
Daria disengaged from the anatomy lesson for a moment to speak to Yalda directly. “There’s a letter for you on the sideboard.”
“Thanks.” Yalda judged the artists sufficiently engrossed not to care if she briefly left the audience.
The letter was from Lucia. Yalda had written to her several times since her last visit to the farm, but their correspondence had been intermittent.
She uncapped the wooden tube, tugged out the rolled-up sheets and smoothed them flat. Some of the symbols were a bit shaky, as if Lucia had been unable to keep the ridges still when she pressed the paper to her skin.
My dear sister Yalda
I’m sorry that it’s been so long since I last wrote to you. I’m sorry, too, that you haven’t been able to visit us yet and see the new farm, but I understand that you must be busy, taking care of your friend Tullia’s children as well as continuing your work at the university. (You won’t be surprised to hear that when I finally told Giusto about the children he denied that such a thing was possible, and said you needed to hunt down the derelict co or co-stead responsible!)
Claudio and his children joined us on the new farm a couple of stints ago. It’s lovely to have so many people around after all these years on our own. We never stopped visiting the old place, of course, but since tradition demands that the two farms are more than a separation apart, it hasn’t been too often.
The main reason I’m writing to you now is to tell you that this will be my last letter. I remember how hurt and saddened you were that you had no news or warning about Aurelia and Claudia, and I wanted it to be different for us. So: tomorrow I will become a mother.
I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t afraid, but I’m also filled with great hope and happiness, knowing that Lucio and I have done our best to prepare for the children’s future. The farm is very well established, and we have plenty of money saved, so while the young cousins work under their father’s watchful eye, Lucio will mostly be free to take care of the children. (And please don’t be angry with him, this is my decision as much as it is his.)