LEBEDEV (alarmed). My dear boy, it’s no affair of mine . . . Talk it over with Zyuzyushka, but I . . . I know nothing about it . . .
IVANOV (rubs his forehead). This is agony! . . .
SASHA. What’s wrong with you?
IVANOV. I feel repulsive today.
SASHA. I can see that by your face . . . Let’s go into the drawing-room . . .
IVANOV and SASHA go out the door at right.
BORKIN (shouts). The music’s about to start . . .
DUDKIN invites Babakina.
BABAKINA. No, it would be sinful if I danced today. My husband died on this very day . . .
BORKIN and YEGORUSHKA play the polka “Å propos Faust”; the COUNT puts his hands over his ears and goes out on the veranda. He is followed by AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA. It is evident from Dudkin’s movements that he is trying to convince Babakina of something. The young ladies ask the First Guest to dance, but he refuses. DUDKIN waves his hand in dismissal and goes out into the garden.
BORKIN (looking around). Ladies and gentlemen, what’s going on? (Stops playing). Why aren’t you dancing?
YOUNG LADIES. We’ve got no partners . . .
BORKIN (gets up). Which means we’re not going to get anywhere . . . In that case let’s go let off some fireworks or something . . .
YOUNG LADIES (clap their hands). Fireworks, fireworks . . . (They run into the garden.)
BORKIN (takes the package and offers his hand to Babakina). Zheh voo pree . . .34 (Shouts.) Ladies and gentleman, to the garden . . . (Exits.)
Everyone exits, except LEBEDEV and ZINAIDA SAVISHNA.
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA. That’s my idea of a young man. The minute he arrives, everyone cheers up. (Turns down the big lamp.) Since they’re all in the garden, there’s no need to leave lights burning. (Puts out the candles.)
LEBEDEV (following her). Zyuzyushka, we have to give the guests something to eat . . .
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA. Look at all these candles . . . no wonder people think we’re rich. (Puts them out.)
LEBEDEV (following her). Zyuzyushka, for heaven’s sake, you should give people something to eat . . . . They’re young, they must be starving by now, poor things . . . Zyuzyushka . . .
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA. The Count didn’t finish his tea. A waste of perfectly good sugar. I’ll put it aside and give it to Matryona to drink. (Takes the glass and goes out the door at left.)
LEBEDEV. Drat! . . . (He goes into the garden.)
VI
IVANOV and SASHA.
SASHA (entering with Ivanov from the door at right). Everyone’s gone into the garden . . .
IVANOV. That’s the way things are, Shurochka. I don’t do anything or think about anything, and I’m exhausted, body and soul . . . Day and night my conscience bothers me, I feel that I’m deeply at fault, but where that fault lies, I can’t figure out . . . And then there’s my wife’s illness, lack of money, the constant grumbling, gossip, noise . . . My home has become loathsome to me, living in it is worse than torture. (He looks around.) I don’t know what’s come over me, I tell you frankly, Shurochka, what’s become unbearable for me is the company of my wife, who loves me . . . and such filthy, selfish thoughts creep into my head, which I couldn’t even conceive of before . . .
Pause.
It’s nasty . . . I’m pestering you with my tedium, Shurochka, forgive me, but I can forget only at those moments when I’m talking to you, my friend . . . Around you I’m like a dog barking at the sun. Shurochka, I’ve known you since the time you were born, I’ve always loved you, spoiled you . . . I would give a great deal to have a daughter like you right now . . .
SASHA (joking, through tears). Nikolay Alekseevich, let’s run away to America . . .
IVANOV. I feel too listless to cross that threshold, and you come up with America . . .
They walk to the entry to the garden.
Well now, Shura, is it hard to go on living? I see, I see it all . . . This air doesn’t suit you . . .
VII
The same and ZINAIDA SAVISHNA.
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA comes out of the door at left.
IVANOV. Sorry, Shurochka, I’ll catch up with you . . .
SASHA exits into the garden.
Zinaida Savishna, forgive me, I’ve come here with a request . . .
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA. What’s the matter, Nikolay Alekseevich?
IVANOV (hesitates). The fact is, you see, the day after tomorrow is the date my note falls due. I’d be very much obliged if you could offer an extension or let me add the interest to the principal. At the moment I have absolutely no money . . .
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA (alarmed). Nikolay Alekseevich, how can this be? What kind of a system is this? No, don’t even think of such a thing, for heaven’s sake, don’t torment an unhappy woman like me . . .
IVANOV. Sorry, sorry . . . (Goes into the garden.)
ZINAIDA SAVISHNA. Pooh, good heavens, how he upset me! . . . I’m trembling all over . . . trembling . . . (Goes out the door at right.)
VIII
KOSYKH.
KOSYKH (enters at the door left and crosses the stage). I was holding spades: ace, king, queen, jack, eight low spades, ace, and one . . . one puny little heart and she, damn her to hell, can’t call one little slam . . . (Exits through door at right.)
IX
DUDKIN and AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA.
AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA (enters from the garden with Dudkin). How I’d like to tear her to shreds, the tightwad . . . how I’d like to tear her to shreds . . . Is this a joke, I’m sitting here from five o’clock, she could at least offer me a little rusty herring . . . What a house . . . What entertainment . . .
DUDKIN. Hold on, we’ll worm some schnapps out of Yegorushka. I’ll have a drink, old girl, and then — off home! Oh, the hell with it all! . . . With the boredom and the hunger you could howl like a wolf . . . And I don’t need any of your brides . . . How the hell can a man think of love if he hasn’t had a nip since lunch? . . .
AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA. It’s not Sashenka’s fault . . . It’s all her mother’s doing . . .
DUDKIN. Why are you making a match between me and Sashenka? Blancmange, lefaucheux-grand-merci35 and all that sort of cleverness . . . I’m a positive fellow with a temper . . . Give me something substantial . . .
AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA. We’ll go, have a look around, or something . . .
DUDKIN Ssh! . . . Nice and quiet . . . Marfutka would have been just the ticket, but the problem is she’s a flibberty-gibbet . . . I dropped in on her last night, and her house was chockful of all sorts of actors . . .
They go out through the door at left.