Pause.
SASHA. If that’s what you want, then please: let’s put our wedding off a year.
IVANOV. No, no, right away . . . This very minute! Shurochka, I won’t go, I won’t leave you in peace, until you call it off . . . Well? Do you agree? Tell me! I’m dying with impatience . . . Do you?
Pause.
Do you?
SASHA nods her head.
You were even smiling with relief. (Breathes easily.) What a weight off my shoulders . . . You’re free, and now I’m free. You’ve taken a ten-ton weight off my conscience.
Pause.
And so she called it off . . . If you hadn’t agreed, this is what I would have . . . (Pulls a revolver out of his pocket.) I brought it along on purpose . . . (Hides the revolver.) It was easier for me to kill myself than to ruin your life . . . She called it off . . . Right? . . . I’m going home . . . I’ve got weak . . . And I’m ashamed and humiliated and . . . I feel myself to be pathetic . . . Which door should I leave by?
Pause.
Why are you silent? Dumbfounded. Yes . . . Don’t you see, what a fuss . . . There’s something I wanted to say just now and I forgot . . . (Covers his face with his hands.) I’m so ashamed!
SASHA. Good-bye, Nikolay Alekseevich. Forgive me! (Goes to the door.)
VIII
The same and LEBEDEV.
LEBEDEV (running into Sasha in the doorway). Wait, wait . . . I’ll say two words. (Takes Sasha and Ivanov by the hands, glancing around.) Listen . . . This is what mother wants, God bless her. She’s not giving any money and there’s no need to. Shura, you say that you don’t need a dowry. Principles, altruism, Schopenhauer . . . It’s all nonsense, but here’s what I’ve got to say to you. I’ve got ten thousand in a secret bank account (glancing around), not a dog in the house knows about it . . . It’s Granny’s . . . . Grab it! Only a condition is better than money: give Matvey three thousand or so.
SASHA. Let go! (Pulls away her hand and, swaying a bit, exits.)
LEBEDEV. What’s the meaning of that dream?
IVANOV. There won’t be a wedding, Pasha. It’s over.
LEBEDEV. How’s that again?
IVANOV. Tell the guests. There won’t be a wedding. I asked her to call it off.
LEBEDEV. Is this philosophy or in truth?
IVANOV. The truth. I’ve leaving right now.
Pause.
My God, my God!
LEBEDEV. I don’t understand a thing. In other words, I have to go and explain to the guests that there won’t be a wedding. Is that right or what?
Pause.
God be your judge, Nikolasha, it’s not for me to judge you, but excuse me, we’re no longer friends. God bless you, wherever you go. We don’t understand one another. Get out!
IVANOV. I should like, Pasha, that now God send me some kind of dreadful calamity—a disease, hunger, prison, disgrace . . . something of the kind. I can hardly stand on my feet, I’m exhausted . . . Another minute and I think I’ll collapse. Where’s Matvey? Let him take me home. And I love your Sasha, love her awfully . . . Now I love Sarra too. Poor woman! You remember that thing I called her, in the heat of the moment, when she came into my study? Then I nearly died of horror. For five days I didn’t get a moment’s sleep, didn’t eat a single crumb. And after all she forgave me; forgave me everything when she died!
The GUESTS gather in the reception room.
IX
The same and SHABELSKY.
SHABELSKY (enters). Forgive me, Pavel, I won’t come to the wedding. I’m going home. My spirits are low. Good-bye.
IVANOV. Wait. Matvey, let’s go together. If only God would have sent me a disease or poverty . . . I think I would have come to life then.
VOICES IN THE RECEPTION ROOM: “The best man has arrived!”
LEBEDEV (in a whisper, angrily). Tell the guests yourself, I don’t know how. How can I tell them! What shall I tell them? Gentlemen, for God’s sake!
X
The same, BORKIN, and then LVOV.
BORKIN (enters with a bouquet; he is in a tailcoat and with a best man’s bou-tonniere). Oof! Where is he? (To Ivanov.) Why did you come here? They’ve been waiting for you in the church a long time, and here you are spouting philosophy. What a comedian! Honest to God, a comedian! After all, you’re not supposed to ride with the bride, but separately with me, and then I come back here to escort the bride to church. How can you possibly not know that! Positively a comedian!
LEBEDEV. Well, what shall I say? What words? Dying is easier . . . (Pulls Ivanov by the arm.) What are you standing there for? Go away! At least get out of our sight!
LVOV (enters, to Ivanov). Ah, there you are. (Loudly.) Nikolay Alekseevich Ivanov, I declare in the hearing of everyone that you are a bastard!
General confusion.
IVANOV (clutching his head). Why? Why? Tell me, why?
SHABELSKY (to Ivanov). Nicolas! Nicolas, for God’s sake . . . Don’t pay any attention. Rise above it.
BORKIN (to Lvov). My dear sir, this is an outrage! I challenge you to a duel.
LVOV. Mister Borkin, I consider it degrading not only to fight, but even to talk to you. Whereas Mister Ivanov, if he so desires, may receive satisfaction at any time.
SHABELSKY. Dear sir, I’ll fight you!
IVANOV. Allow me, gentlemen. Let me speak. (Shaking his head.) I’m now capable of speaking and I know how to speak like a human being. His insult nearly killed me, but after all it’s not his fault! Put yourself in his shoes! Isn’t it ridiculous? He’s known me for over two years, but there wasn’t a single minute when he could understand what sort of man I am. For two years he conscientiously analyzed me, suffered, didn’t give himself or me or my wife a moment’s peace, and all the same I remain a riddle and a conundrum. I was not understood by my wife or my friends or my enemies or Sasha or these guests. Am I honorable or base? intelligent or stupid? healthy or psychotic? do I love or do I hate? No one knew, and everyone got lost guessing. Truth is as clear and simple as God’s daylight, any little kid could understand it, but even intelligent people didn’t understand me. Which means that there is no truth in me. Ah, how I understand myself now, how absurd I am to myself! How indignantly I responded to that “bastard”! (Roars with laughter.) Yes, I was honorable, bold, ardent, indefatigable, did the work of three men, knew how to get indignant, weep, love, hate, but to the point that I only wore myself out. Yes, I loved people, loved a woman, as none of you could, but my love lasted only two or three years, until my indolent soul wore out, until it began to seem to me that
NOTES
1 A district committee to supervise self-governing peasant communes; its members might include the district police chief, a justice of the peace, and a “permanent member,” a salaried official appointed by the government on the nomination of the Rural Board. The “permanent member” was highly responsible for the control of rural institutions.