Marya Vasilyevna had a son who shot himself and she still keeps on looking for contradictions in her silly pamphlets. A disaster struck you, and you play games with your vanity; you try to pervert your life and think you’re making a sacrifice . . . Nobody’s got any heart . . . Neither of us . . . It’s all going wrong, everything’s falling to rack and ruin . . . I shall leave now and not get in the way of you and Zheltukhin . . . What are you crying about? I didn’t mean to do that.
SONYA. Never mind, never mind . . . (Wipes her eyes.)
Enter YULYA, DYADIN, and ZHELTUKHIN.
VII
The same, YULYA, DYADIN, ZHELTUKHIN, then SEREBYAKOV and ORLOVSKY.
SEREBRYAKOV’s voice: “Yoo-hoo! Where are you, my friends?”
SONYA (shouts). Papa, over here!
DYADIN. They’re bringing the samovar! Fascinating! (He and YULYA fuss with things on the table.)
Enter SEREBRYAKOV and ORLOVSKY.
SONYA. Over here, Papa!
SEREBRYAKOV. I see, I see . . .
ZHELTUKHIN (loudly). Gentlemen, I call this session to order! Waffles, uncork the cordial!
KHRUSHCHOV (to Serebryakov). Professor, let’s forget everything that passed between us! (Extends his hand) I beg your pardon . . .
SEREBRYAKOV. Thank you. Most delighted. You should forgive me as well. The day after that episode when I tried to contemplate all that had occurred and recalled our interchange, I felt very uncomfortable . . . Let us be friends. (Takes him by the arm and goes to the table.)
ORLOVSKY. Should have done it a long time ago, my dear boy. A bad peace is better than a good quarrel.
DYADIN. Your Excellency, I’m glad that you have chosen to pay a visit to my oasis. Indescribably delighted!
SEREBRYAKOV. Thank you, my good man. It is beautiful here indeed. A veritable oasis.
ORLOVSKY. So you’re a nature lover, Sasha?
SEREBRYAKOV. Quite so.
Pause.
Let us not be silent, gentlemen, let us speak. In our situation that’s by far the best thing. One must look misfortune in the face boldly and directly. I can look at it more bravely than any of you, and that is because I am more unhappy than any of you.
YULYA. Gentlemen, I don’t provide any sugar; drink it with jam.45
DYADIN (bustling around among the guests). I’m so pleased, I’m so pleased!
SEREBRYAKOV. Recently, Mikhail Lvovich, I have experienced so much and done so much thinking that I believe I could write a whole treatise on the art of living. We live and learn all our lives, but it is the misfortunes that instruct us.
DYADIN. Let the dead past bury the dead. God is merciful, all’s well that ends well.
SONYA gives a start.
ZHELTUKHIN. What made you start?
SONYA. Someone was shouting.
DYADIN. It’s the peasants down by the river catching crayfish.
Pause.
ZHELTUKHIN. Gentlemen, after all we did come to an agreement to spend this evening as if nothing had happened . . . Honestly, there’s a kind of tension . . .
DYADIN. Your Excellency, I cherish for learning not just reverence, but even a kindred feeling. My brother Grigory Ilyich’s wife’s brother, maybe you deign to know him, Konstantin Gavrilych Novosyolov,46 had a master’s degree in comparative literature.
SEREBRYAKOV. I didn’t know him, but I know of him.
Pause.
YULYA. Yesterday was exactly two weeks since Yegor Petrovich died.
KHRUSHCHOV. Yulechka, let’s not talk about that.
SEREBRYAKOV. Be brave, be brave!
Pause.
ZHELTUKHIN. All the same you can feel a kind of tension . . .
SEREBRYAKOV. Nature abhors a vacuum. She has deprived me of two close friends, and, in order to fill the gap, she has sent me new friends. I drink to your health, Leonid Stepanovich!
ZHELTUKHIN. Thank you, my dear Aleksandr Vladimirovich! In my turn let me drink to your fruitful academic activities.
If wisdom and virtue’s seeds you sow
The Russian people are bound to show
Always their heartfelt thanks!47
SEREBRYAKOV. I treasure your compliment. I cordially look forward to the time when our friendly relations will evolve into something more familial.
Enter FYODOR IVANOVICH.
VIII
The same and FYODOR IVANOVICH.
FYODOR IVANOVICH. Here’s where it is! A picnic!
ORLOVSKY. My sonny boy . . . my beauty!
FYODOR IVANOVICH. Good afternoon. (Exchanges kisses with Sonya and Yulya.)
ORLOVSKY. We’ve haven’t seen you for a whole two weeks. Where were you? What kept you so long?
FYODOR IVANOVICH. I just rode over to Lyonya’s place, where they told me you were here, so I rode over here.
ORLOVSKY. Where have you been hanging out?
FYODOR IVANOVICH. I haven’t slept for three nights . . . Yesterday, father, I lost five thousand at cards. I was drinking and playing cards, and rode back and forth to town five separate times. Went on a bender.
ORLOVSKY. Attaboy! You’re probably a little tipsy now?
FYODOR IVANOVICH. Sober as a judge. Yulka, tea! Only with lemon, nice and sour . . . And how do you like that Georges, huh? Out of the blue ups and blows his brains out! And the thing he picked to do it with too: a Lefoché! He couldn’t use a Smith and Wesson!48
KHRUSHCHOV. Shut up, you swine!
FYODOR IVANOVICH. A swine, but a purebred one! (Strokes his beard.) The beard alone is worth a pretty penny . . . So I’m a swine and a fool and scum, but I merely have to will it—and a loving bride will drop in my lap. Sonya, marry me! (To Khrushchov.) However, I’m sorry . . . Pardon . . .
KHRUSHCHOV. Stop playing the fool.
YULYA. You’re a lost cause, Fedenka! In the whole district there’s no bigger drunkard and spendthrift than you. It makes me sorry just to look at you. A reprobate sinner — the wrath of God!
FYODOR IVANOVICH. Well, now she’s started bellyaching again! Come on, sit next to me . . . That’s it. I’ll come and stay with you for a couple of weeks . . . I need a rest. (Kisses her.)
YULYA. You should be ashamed with people around. You should be a comfort to your father in his old age, but you only disgrace him. A stupid way to live, that’s all there is to it.
FYODOR IVANOVICH. I’ll give up the drink! Basta! (Pours himself a drink.) Is this plum cordial or cherry?
YULYA. Stop drinking, no drinks.
FYODOR IVANOVICH. One little glass is all right. (Drinks.) Wood Goblin, I’ll give you a pair of horses and a rifle. I’m going to live with Yulya . . . I’ll stay with her for a couple of weeks.
KHRUSHCHOV. A stay in a disciplinary battalion would do you more good.