TREPLYOV. Nina, you still . . . Nina!
NINA. Never mind, it makes me feel better . . . For two years now I haven’t cried. Late last night I went to look at the garden, to see if our stage was still there. And it’s standing to this day. I burst into tears for the first time in two years, and I felt relieved, my heart grew lighter. You see, I’ve stopped crying. (Takes him by the hand.) And so, now you’re a writer. You’re a writer, I’m an actress . . . We’ve both fallen into the maelstrom88 . . . I used to live joyously, like a child — wake up in the morning and start to sing; I loved you, dreamed of fame, and now? First thing tomorrow morning I go to Yelets,89 third class . . . traveling with peasants, and in Yelets art-loving businessmen will pester me with their propositions. A sordid kind of life!
TREPLYOV. Why Yelets?
NINA. I took an engagement for the whole winter. Time to go.
TREPLYOV. Nina, I cursed you, hated you, tore up your letters and photographs, but every moment I realized that my soul is bound to you forever. I haven’t the power to stop loving you. From the time I lost you and began publishing, life for me has been unbearable — I’m in pain . . . My youth was suddenly somehow snatched away, and I felt as if I’d been living on this earth for ninety years. I appeal to you, kiss the ground you walk on; wherever I look, everywhere your face rises up before me, that caressing smile that shone on me in the best years of my life . . .
NINA (perplexed). Why does he say such things, why does he say such things?
TREPLYOV. I’m alone, unwarmed by anyone’s affection. I’m cold as in a dungeon, and, no matter what I write, it’s all arid, stale, gloomy. Stay here, Nina, I beg you, or let me go with you! (NINA quickly puts on her hat and cloak.) Nina, why? For God’s sake, Nina . . . (Watches herput on her wraps.)
Pause.
NINA. My horses are standing at the gate. Don’t see me out, I’ll manage by myself . . . (Tearfully.) Give me some water . . .
TREPLYOV (gives her something to drink). Where are you off to now?
NINA. To town. (Pause.) Is Irina Nikolaevna here?
TREPLYOV. Yes . . . On Thursday Uncle wasn’t well, we wired for her to come.
NINA. Why do you tell me you’d kiss the ground I walk on? I should be killed. (Leans over the desk.) I feel so tired! Have to get some rest . . . rest! (Lifts her head.) I’m a gull . . . That’s wrong, I’m an actress. Ah, yes! (Having heard Arkadina’s and Trigorin’s laughter, she listens, then runs to the door left and peeks through the keyhole) He’s here too . . . (Returning to Tre-plyov.) Ah, yes . . . Never mind . . . Yes . . . He had no faith in the theater, he’d laugh at my dreams, and little by little I lost faith in it too, lost heart. . . But then the anxiety over our affair, jealousy, constant worrying about the baby . . . I became petty, trivial, acted mindlessly . . . I didn’t know what to do with my hands, didn’t know how to stand on stage, couldn’t control my voice. You can’t imagine what that’s like, when you realize your acting is terrible. I’m a gull. No, that’s wrong . . . Remember, you shot down a gull? By chance a man comes along, sees, and with nothing better to do destroys . . . Subject for a short story. That’s wrong . . . (Rubs her forehead.) What was I saying? . . . I was talking about the stage. I’m not like that now . . . Now I’m a real actress, I like acting, I enjoy it, I’m intoxicated when I’m on stage and feel that I’m beautiful. And now that I’m living here, I go walking and walking and thinking and thinking and feel every day my spirit is growing stronger . . . Now I know, understand, Kostya, that in our work-it doesn’t matter whether we act or we write—the main thing isn’t fame, glamour, the things I dreamed about, it’s knowing how to endure. I know how to shoulder my cross and I have faith. I have faith and it’s not so painful for me, and when I think about my calling, I’m not afraid of life.
TREPLYOV (mournfully). You’ve found your path, you know where you’re going, but I’m still drifting in a chaos of daydreams and images, without knowing what or whom it’s for. I have no faith and I don’t know what my calling is.90
NINA (listening hard). Ssh . . . I’m going. Good-bye. When I become a great actress, come to the city and have a look at me. Promise? But now . . . (Squeezes his hand.) Now it’s late. I’m dead on my feet . . . I’m famished, I’d like a bite to eat . . .
TREPLYOV. Stay here, I’ll bring you some supper . . .
NINA. No, no . . . Don’t show me out, I’ll manage by myself . . . My horses are close by . . . That means, she brought him with her? So what, it doesn’t matter. When you see Trigorin, don’t say anything to him . . . I love him. I love him even more than before . . . Subject for a short story . . . I love, love passionately, love to desperation. It used to be nice. Kostya! Remember? What a bright, warm, joyful, pure life, what feelings—feelings like tender, delicate flowers . . . Remember? . . . (Recites.) “Humans, lions, eagles, and partridges, antlered deer, geese, spiders, silent fishes that inhabit the waters, starfish, and those beings invisible to the naked eye,—in short, all living things, all living things, all living things, having completed the doleful cycle, are now extinct . . . Already thousands of centuries have passed since the earth bore any living creature, and this pale moon to no avail doth light her lamp. No more does the meadow awake to the cries of cranes, and the may flies are no longer to be heard in the linden groves . . .” (Embraces Treplyov impulsively and runs to the glass door.)
TREPLYOV (after a pause). I hope nobody runs into her in the garden and tells Mama. It might distress Mama . . . (Over the course of two minutes, he silently tears up all his manuscripts and throws them under the desk, then unlocks the door and exits.)
DORN (trying to open the door left). Funny. Door seems to be locked . . . (Enters and puts the chair in its proper place.) Obstacle course.
Enter ARKADINA, POLINA ANDREEVNA, followed by YAKOV with bottles and MASHA, then SHAMRAEV and TRIGORIN.
ARKADINA. Put the red wine and the beer for Boris Alekseevich here on the table. We’ll drink while we play. Let’s sit down, ladies and gentlemen.
POLINA ANDREEVNA (to Yakov). And bring the tea now. (Lights the candles, sits at the card table.)
SHAMRAEV (leads Trigorin to the cupboard). Here’s that thing I was talking about before . . . (Gets a stuffed gull out of the cupboard.) You ordered it.