3 A river in the Trans-Caucasian part of the Russian Empire; the region around it was proverbial for its rich lands and fertility.
4 Indicates that she spits three times to avert the evil eye.
5 Town in the Ukraine, southwest of Kharkov, noted for its fairs.
6 Peasant communities chose a starshina, or head man, from among themselves to settle disputes and maintain law and order.
7 Paraphrase of Psalm 141, verse 3: “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; and keep the doors of my lips.”
8 Literally, “as Shchastlivtsev says.” A comic actor, whose name means Happy, a central character in Aleksandr Ostrovsky’s play The Forest. The line does not appear in the text but was an actor’s improvisation that became traditional in the last scene.
THE POWER OF HYPNOTISM
Cилa „ипнoтизмa
Joke in One Act
by An. Chekhov and Iv. Shcheglov1
On A. P. Chekhov’s first trip to Petersburg, he and I used to sit up long past midnight at Palkin’s inn. . . . Our discussion of serious topics shifted to merry themes, and A. P., among other things, improvised, in character, a whole short vaudeville, which was called “The Power of Hypnotism.”
A certain dark-eyed little widow has turned the heads of two of her admirers: a fat major with a superb majorial moustache and a youth with no moustache at all, a pharmacist’s assistant. Both rivals, — military and civilian, — are crazy about her and ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of her flashing eyes, which possess a certain special, hypnotic power. The cruel little widow explains to the amorous major that she has nothing against his proposal and that the only obstacle to their kissing as man and wife is the major’s bushy moustache. And wishing to test the demonic power of her eyes, the little widow uses them to hypnotize the major, which she does so successfully that the major silently makes for the door and hurries straight out of the parlor to the nearest barber . . . The widow also makes the young pharmacist do something stupid. And, because the little widow has “a third” in reserve, as a result, both admirers end up dupes.
I recall that the last scene, that is the major’s appearance without his moustache, made us both laugh a lot.
“You understand,” Chekhov said to me, “I’d like to write this playlet in the tone of the most outrageous farce . . . For instance, the amorous druggist secretly pours a love potion of his own devising into the little widow’s coffee . . . Or, for instance, a messenger appears with a letter—and the messenger suddenly turns out to be not a messenger at all, but the little widow’s sweetheart in disguise. Something along those lines! . . .”
Then Chekhov left for Moscow and gradually forgot about the vaudeville he’d thought up. When I questioned him about the playlet, he begged off, claiming he lacked the proper “mood for a vaudeville.” Then he rapidly wrote a full-length play (Ivanov) and the vaudeville was put off to some indefinite time. In his later letters A. P. never brought up The Power of Hypnotism, and invited me to visit him in the summer so that we could write a full-length funny comedy together. This plan was not destined to be realized, however, and only after Chekhov’s death did it occur to me to carry out the projected collaboration in a different way: to complete from memory, following the words and hints of A. P., The Power of Hypnotism.
Although the text in the reconstructed Power of Hypnotism is entirely mine, the whole scenario and outlines of the characters planned by Chekhov were drawn too boldly for there to be any need to deviate from them.
Only the “major” (a rank that has vanished nowadays) I promoted to a “colonel,” and “the fake messenger” was turned into a genuine fiancé, to use him in the denouement of the vaudeville.
Iv. Shcheglov
St. Petersburg
July 1910
THE POWER OF HYPNOTISM
Joke in One Act
CHARACTERS 2
YULIYA ADAMOVNA KRASNUSHKINA, an interesting little widow
SHIPUNOV, a colonel in the reserves
LEDENTSOV, a young pharmacist’s assistant
A MESSENGER
The action takes place in the summer, at a country cottage.
I
KRASNUSHKINA, SHIPUNOV, and LEDENTSOV.
KRASNUSHKINA is sitting on a bench under a linden tree. On either side of her, on their knees, SHIPUNOV and LEDENTSOV.
SHIPUNOV. I love you! . . .
LEDENTSOV. So do I!! . . .
SHIPUNOV. Oh, Yuliya . . . be mine!
LEDENTSOV. And mine! . . . Oh!! (clutches at his heart. SHIPUNOV casts his rival a scornful, envious glance.)
SHIPUNOV (resolutely). Just one word: yes or no?
LEDENTSOV (irresolutely). One word . . . just: no or yes? (Suspensefulpause.)
KRASNUSHKINA (her eyes twinkling enigmatically). Both yes . . . and no! . . .
SHIPUNOV and LEDENTSOV exchange glances of perplexity and incomprehension.
SHIPUNOV. How come: neither yes nor no?
LEDENTSOV. Well, how come?
KRASNUSHKINA (flirtatiously). Oh, just . . . because! . . .
SHIPUNOV and LEDENTSOV get up from their knees in disappointment.
SHIPUNOV. I must confess, it’s rather strange . . .
LEDENTSOV. Hm . . . it’s strange, I must confess . . . (Slaps himself on the forehead.) There’s probably some secret involved!
SHIPUNOV. Women always have the same secret: if it’s not one man or another, it means that there is . . . a third!
KRASNUSHKINA (her eyes twinkling enigmatically). Perhaps . . .
SHIPUNOV. What did I say!
LEDENTSOV. So did I! . . .
SHIPUNOV (exploding). No, I said it, not you!
LEDENTSOV. Why: you, and not me?
SHIPUNOV. Because . . . I am not you!
LEDENTSOV (getting excited). But you . . . are not me!
SHIPUNOV. And I’m proud that . . . I am not you!
LEDENTSOV. And I’m proud that . . . you are not me!!
SHIPUNOV. Well, that’s for sure—you hernia truss . . .
LEDENTSOV (shouts). Repeat what you just said? . . .
SHIPUNOV (shouts). Hernia truss! . . . Pepsin! Aspirin! Saccharine!
LEDENTSOV. Hold me back . . . or else I won’t be held responsible for my actions!! (Offstage a dog barks.)
KRASNUSHKINA (interposes her parasol, so that it serves as a barrier, separating them). Gentlemen, have you gone crazy? You are in my summer cottage, in my presence . . . and all of a sudden you’re practically dueling! (Shoots a languorous, hypnotic glance at them. The rivals calm down and droop their heads guiltily. Pause.) After all, put yourself in my place: I let the servant girl go to the market, I’m here all alone, I have no husband . . . I might . . . well, I might be sick with fright, if something like this were to recur!!