He lurched down the stairs from his flat and into his study, looking very white -- except for his eyes, which were very red. He claimed that he was not jet-lagged, though he was concerned that he could not remember anything that the President said to him at the White House. Actually, this was not due to jet-lag -- the President hadnt really said very much. Perhaps this was because the President was frightfully tired too.
Hacker yawned a lot and set for Sir Humphrey Appleby, who had not been to Washington and was consequently very fresh and alert. Hacker, aware of his exhaustion, expressed concern that statesmen [the word that politician use to describe themselves Ed.] nowadays spend so much time jetting around the world, taking part in major negotiations that could affect the future of mankind when they are zonked, as he described it.
Sir Humphrey explained that this is the reason why such negotiations are nearly always completed in advance by humble servants such as himself. They could hardly be left in the hands of the zonked.
Fortunately Sir Humphreys comment passed unnoticed by the Prime Minister, who gently nodded off while he spoke. Perhaps this accounts for the Prime Ministers mistaken recollection that Sir Humphrey was absent that day.
We attempted to wake the Prime Minister. After some moments we succeeded. He opened his eyes, sat up slightly startled and said: Ah, Humphrey, good morning.
Unfortunately Hacker had no recollection of sending for Sir Humphrey, nor could he remember why he had done so. I didnt know why either, because Hacker had fallen asleep before he told me. So Sir Humphrey left us. As he did so the Prime Minister nodded off again, and I left him to snooze in peace.
Much later in the day he buzzed down to me in the Private Office, and asked me to review with him the large backlog of work which he assumed -- incorrectly -- would have built up in his absence.
I was obliged to explain to him that there was no backlog, and that -- contrary to public belief -- he would have much less work to do now that he is Prime Minister and no longer has a department of his own.
The fact is that everything that one reads in the newspapers about how hard the Prime Minister has to work is rather a myth, generally put out by the Press Office. I listed the jobs for the Prime Minister that he actually has to do:
1. Chair the Cabinet Two and a half hours per week.
2. Chair two or three Cabinet Committees Four hours per week.
3. Answers questions in the House Half an hour per week.
4. Audience with the Queen One hour maximum (if she doesnt get bored before that).
This is a total of eight hours per week. Apart from that the Prime Minister has to read all the briefs, minutes, submissions, Foreign Office telegrams, and so forth. And the Private Office arranges to rush the Prime Minister from place to place, shaking hands with people. But in fact, although there are lots of things people want the Prime Minister to do, lots of things he should do, and any number of things he can do, there are very few things he has to do. After all, the Prime Minister is the boss.
[In fact, there is much to be said for the system adopted by a United States President in the mid-1980s, of doing virtually nothing. This left time to think, if he felt up to it, or to sleep if he didnt Ed.]
In the absence of the expected backlog of work, the Prime Minister wanted to look at his press clippings.
He was delighted with the report sent to him by Malcolm Warren, the Number Ten Press Officer. Apparently in our absence the PM had been on all the TV news bulletins for three successive nights. There had been a special feature on Panorama. There were 1269 column inches in the nations, and thirty-one photos. There were also sixteen radio reports.
I asked the Prime Minister if he regarded the Washington visit as a success. He did not understand my question -- in his view, it was by definition a success if it achieved all this publicity.
My question related to possible agreements with the Americans. However, it seems that little progress was made on that front.
[Later that day Bernard Woolley had a meeting with Sir Humphrey Appleby in his office. Sir Humphrey records the meeting in detail in his own diary Ed.]
BW came to give me a report on the PMs Washington visit and confirmed that he had not mentioned his new defence policy to the President. This was a relief.
Nonetheless, we still have a considerable problem. By we I mean all of us in the Cabinet Office, the Treasury, the MOD, the FCO and sundry lesser departments. The Prime Minister still wishes to cancel Trident and Cruise, continue with Polaris and bring back conscription to achieve a large conventional army.
BW, very properly in his role as Principal Private Secretary, defended the Prime Ministers ideas. He argued that to save money, reduce unemployment and make our defence credible is a worthy aim. I give him alpha plus for loyalty but nought out of ten for common sense.
He appears to believe that the purpose of our defence policy is to defend Britain. Clearly in this modern world this is an impossibility. Therefore, the only purpose of our defence policy is to make people believe that Britain is defended.
Some advocates of the deterrent theory understand this, but they assume that our defence policy is designed to make the Russians believe that we are defended. This is absurd. Our policy exists to make the British believe Britain is defended -- the Russians know its not.
Our defence policy is therefore designed to impress all those simple ignorant British citizens who suffle in and out of houses, buses, pubs, factories and the Cabinet Room. We are trying to make them feel secure.
BW and the PM are seeking a better way, which is doubtless thoroughly laudable. But the very words better way imply change, always a most dangerous notion.
At the moment we have a magic wand. It is called Trident. No one understands anything about it except that it will cost 15 billion, which means that it must be wonderful. Magical. We just have to write the cheque, and then we can all relax. But if people in the government start talking about it, eventually they will start thinking about it. Then they will realise the problems, the flaws in the reasoning. Result: the nation gets anxious.
BW was quite clear about these dangers after I had explained them to him. But he raised the question of the PMs impending television broadcast. He was concerned that the PM might want to use it to announce his new policy, immediately after discussing it in Cabinet and announcing it to the House. He might seek to use a TV appearance to open a national debate. This would be a bad precedent -- one should not open a national debate until the government has privately made up its mind.
BW thinks that the PM has indeed made up his mind. If so, he must unmake it. I instructed him to see to it immediately.
BW was not sure that he could oblige, and loyally he pointed out that the PM is the PM, and, as such, he has certain rights and power.
The PMs rights and obvious and generous. He gets his own car and driver, a nice house in London, a place in the country, endless publicity and a pension for life. I asked BW what more the PM wants.
I think he wants to govern Britain, he replied.
This must be stopped! He is not qualified.
[Appleby Papers WB/CAA/400]
[Hackers diary continues Ed.]
February 7th
I felt much more energetic today, and I also saw Humphrey for the first time since Id been back, which was very pleasant.
But we began the day with a big meeting with Malcolm, to discuss my first broadcast on TV since I became Prime Minister. It raised a whole lot of interesting questions and problems that, as a mere Cabinet Minister, had never before confronted me.