The first question he raised was whether the broadcast should be an interview or to camera. I didnt understand the difference at first so I just said yes. But he explained that it had to be one or the other.
At first I suggested an interview, because I felt it might be less like hard work. But Malcolm immediately asked who I should like to be interviewed by. It seemed that the choice was between Robin Day, Brian Walden, Terry Wogan or Jimmy Young [all well-known media people during Hackers first term as Prime Minister although now, alas, forgotten Ed.].
It depends, Prime Minister, whether you wish to be seen as a thinker, a man of power, the peoples friend or just a good fellow.
All of them, really, I said, but he misunderstood this and said that they wouldnt all interview me at once. I hadnt meant all of them, Id meant that I wish to be seen to have all those qualities. Since I have them I couldnt see a problem.
Malcolm shook his head knowledgeably. An image is automatically created by the choice of interviewer. How do you wish to place the emphasis?
I suggested that I should be seen primarily as a thinker. This, apparently, meant Brian Walden would talk to me. But Malcolm said there were problems associated with Brian Walden. He knows rather too much. He was an MP himself, dont forget.
Isnt that a help? I wondered.
No. Because if you dont answer the question, he asks it again. If you dont answer it a second time, he asks it a third time. Then, if you dont answer three times, he tells the viewers you havent answered it, and that you had three opportunities.
On reflection, it seemed that Walden might not necessarily be the best choice. And perhaps, I thought, it would be good if my image were more the Man of Power rather than the Thinker.
Apparently this meant that Id have to talk to Robin Day. But Malcolm said I would have to dominate him to get away with it. Dominating Day seemed a tall order, but clearly Malcolm felt that otherwise he might look more like a Prime Minister than I do.
Bernard Woolley felt that Robin Day was a little easier to handle since he got his K [knighthood]. Be that as it may, I felt it would be better to take no chances. How would it be, I asked, if I just opt for beign a good fellow.
That means Wogan, replied Malcolm. But youd have to bandy words with him.
I couldnt think what Malcolm meant. Bandy words?
Bernard explained. Youd have to be witty.
I could see no problem there. Ive always been very witty. But Malcolm and Bernard were looking excessively gloomy. I couldnt see why, till Bernard suddenly said: Well the trouble is, he rather goes in for insult humour.
Would he insult the Prime Minister? I couldnt beliee it.
He insults everybody, if he feels so inclined.
I had an idea. Perhaps hed like a knighthood.
Bernard didnt think much of that idea. Sir Terence Wogan? I hardly think so, Prime Minister.
I was forced to agree that it would be a bit much, although a CBE would be okay and might ensure that he wasnt insulting.
Bernard was still unimpressed by the idea. Well hes Irish. Im not sure they really understand about honours. Also, being a Commander of the British Empire mightnt go down awfully well in Ireland. Especially in the peat bogs from which he emanates.
It seemed to me that Bernard had a point. So it just left one option: Id have to appear as the Peoples Friend, on the Jimmy Young show.
There are problems with him too, remarked Malcolm. You rather get shoved in between the record requests, the traffic news and the shopping basket.
Bernard agreed. Hes awfully chummy, but it can all look a bit lightweight. Furthermore, hes only on the radio. [How something can look anything on radio Bernard did not explain Ed.]
By this time Id rather gone off the whole idea of an interview. It seems to me that its much better for me to talk to the camera -- then Id be in charge, not those failed MPs and jumped-up disc jockeys.
Malcolm suggested a party political. I thought that was a really crummy idea. Party politicals spell instant boredom. My whole idea is that it should be a Prime Minister addressing his People.
Bernard intervened. If you do that it will be a ministerial broadcast, and the Leader of the Opposition will want the right of reply.
On the face of it, that is absurd. I said I wouldnt give a right of reply. I asked him whose side he was on.
He was at his most punctilious and prissy. I am simply thinking ahead, Prime Minister. When you are the Leader of the Opposition, you will want the right of reply.
I have no intention of being the Leader of the Opposition, at least not in the remotely foreseeable future. But I could see that I had to concede the point. So I told Bernard that Id do it into the camera, like a party political.
But you said they were boring, he said.
I was getting fed up with him. I didnt say I would be boring, did I? Silence. Do you think Id be boring? He made no reply. I should think not! It is highly unlikely that I would ever make a boring speech or broadcast, as he knows only too well!
Malcolm asked me if Id done much talking to cameras. As I havent, he offered to fix a rehearsal -- an excellent idea.
Then he raised one final question. What is the broadcast to be about?
I couldnt think what he meant for a moment. Obviously the broadcast is to be about me. I explained this to him, and he saw the point entirely. However, he wanted further clarification on one small matter of detaiclass="underline" what exactly was I going to say?
I couldnt see that this mattered much, but he wanted to know which policies Id be referring to. I explained that it would be the usuaclass="underline" go forward together, a better tomorrow, tighten our belts, all pull together, healing the wounds, that kind of thing.
He was happy with that, but urged me to consider what Id say specifically. My first thought was that Id talk about specifically tightening our belts, healing specific wounds in our society.
But Malcolm pressured me to consider saying something new. Id never considered that. Then, suddenly, I realised what an opportunity I have here: I shall talk about my Grand Design. I told Malcolm that Id let him have the text in due course. Meanwhile, he is going to find a suitable producer for the broadcast and set up a rehearsal. It all looks very promising.
February 8th
Tense meeting with Humphrey today. He had requested it for the earliest available moment today.
As soon as I was settled in my study I sent for him. He arrived almost at once. He must have been waiting downstairs for me.
Ah, Humphrey, I said. Here already?
Yes. I gather you want to discuss a television appearance.
I was surprised that this was what he wanted to talk about. Its not that desperately urgent, is it? I asked.
Absolutely not, he agreed. Not remotely important.
I wasnt awfully pleased that my first TV broadcast should be described by Humphrey as not remotely important. He must have seen the expression on my face, because he hastily added that it was terribly important, but not a worry or a crisis.
It was quite clear that he wasnt worried about the broadcast per se, but about my Grand Design. He doesnt want me to mention it on the air.
I told him that I proposed to do just that and I asked him for his opinion.
I think it is a mistake, Prime Minister.
The policy? I asked. I was enjoying myself.
No, no, announcing it on television. Precipitate. Premature. Perilous.
He has an undoubted habit for alliteration when under pressure. I continued my little game. So you do approve of the policy?