But how can Humphrey make himself the only channel for advice when I have the whole Cabinet every Thursday, and lots of Cabinet committees?
Thats a question I can answer for myself. My Cabinet mostly argue their Civil Service briefs. Thats what I always found I was doing. And Humphrey meets their Permanent Secretaries informally the day before Cabinet -- presumably they agree on their briefs. Thats why Im having such trouble with my Grand Design -- the Civil Service is against it.
However there is also the Think Tank. [The colloquial term for the Central Policy Review Staff, known for short as the CPRS Ed.] I reminded Dorothy that they report to me.
She looked sceptical. I wouldnt be surprised if Humphrey suggests having them report to him instead. Then hell ask for more space in Number Ten.
Why? I asked. The Think Tanks supposed to be in the Cabinet Office. [The Cabinet Office was a separate building which adjoined 10 Downing Street. It was entered from Whitehall Ed.]
Hell say, predicted Dorothy, that they need more space. Hell gradually encroach on your territory here. Why? Because it will give him the right to treat Number Ten as his own, as well as the Cabinet Office. Then you know what hell do? Hell start getting you out of the way.
Ive begun to think that Dorothy is a little crazy. Are you suggesting, I asked, that he wants to be Prime Minister?
No, no, she said impatiently. He doesnt want the title or the responsibility. He only wants the power. So, having made himself the focus of all information and advice, hell start encouraging you to go off on long overseas trips. Then hell have to take a number of decisions in your absence -- sorry, recommend them to Cabinet -- and youll have to follow his advice if youre not there. And Cabinet will follow his recommendations because theyll be getting the same recommendations from the Permanent Secretaries.
This seems a hideous scenario. I really cant believe it. However, I think Humphrey has to be curbed a little and, on reflection, I think that tomorrow Ill give Dorothy her office back.
March 1st
Today I really was firm and decisive. What a feeling! I have established my authority well and truly.
First I summoned Dorothy. I told her, firmly and decisively, that I had changed my mind again! She was to get her office back.
Then I asked Dorothy for her advice about Humphrey. Not that I would necessarily have taken it! But I wanted to know if she was recommending that I sack him.
She shrank from such a response. But she wondered if I might want to clip his wings. And she had a very good suggestion as to how to do it. As well as being Cabinet Secretary, he is Joint Head of the Home Civil Service. He is responsible for the Personnel side -- appointments and so on. Pay and Rations are in the hands of Sir Frank Gordon, Permanent Secretary of the Treasury. So the job of the Head of the Civil Service is effectively split between Sir Humphrey and Sir Frank.
Dorothys suggestion, brilliantly simple, is to take Humphreys half of the job away from him and give it all to Sir Frank!
The danger of such a move, of course, would be that it might make Sir Frank as powerful as Sir Humphrey is now. Would that be any better for me? Hard to tell. I dont know Sir Frank all that well. But I dont have to commit myself yet. All I had to do today was put the frighteners on Humphrey! And that I certainly achieved!
I sent for him. He arrived while Dorothy was still with me. I began by telling him that I had definitely decided to give her her old office.
He started to protest, but I wouldnt let him speak. He asked for a private word about it. Dorothy smiled unpleasantly and said he could speak freely in front of her.
He seemed reluctant. I asked him if he were about to dispute my decision.
Not once it is a decision, no, he replied carefully.
Good, I said, closing the matter. Now, I have another important matter to discuss with you. And I indicated to Dorothy that she should now leave. She smiled sweetly at me, and departed in triumph.
Before I could mention my threat to give some of Humphreys responsibilities to Sir Frank, he spoke up. And I could hardly believe my ears.
I think we should think about the Think Tank, he began. My God, had Dorothy known this was coming? Or was it an inspired guess, based on her knowledge of the man? In any event, I realised at that moment that I could no longer risk dismissing her fears as paranoia.
Cant the Think Tank think about themselves? I asked casually.
Im worried that their lines of communication are unclear, he said.
I looked surprised. How can they be? They report to me.
Operationally, yes. But administratively they report to me.
Humphrey was claiming that this was a serious anomaly. So I pretended to misunderstand him. I see, I said. So you want them to report to my office administratively as well.
He hadnt foreseen that interpretation. No, no! he answered hastily. It would be quite wrong to burden your office with administration. No. I suggest they report to me operationally as well.
I pretended to be open to this new plan. Inwardly I was seething. So they should deliver their reports to you?
Humphrey clearly felt hed won. Yes, well, just for checking and so on, he replied, leaning back in his chair and relaxing a little. To see that you get them in an acceptable form.
Humphrey, I said, smiling my most insincere smile, this is very generous of you. Wont it mean a lot of extra work?
He assumed his brave, British, Cruel Sea look. One must do ones duty, he grunted.
I decided to put Dorothys theory to the test. But gosh I said innocently, how will you manage for space?
I was just coming to that, he said. We shant be able to accommodate the extra staff in the Cabinet Office. But I think we can probably find a few rooms here in Number Ten.
She was right again, damn it!
Here? I asked.
Well, there is some space, he explained.
In that case, I asked, why did we have to move Dorothys office?
He was only fazed for a moment. Well if shes staying here we could move a couple of them into her new office. Her old office. Her old new office.
Go on, I said, playing with him.
Is that agreed? he enquired.
No, its not agreed, I replied pleasantly, but its fascinating. Anything else you want to propose?
Just some overseas visits, he said, producing some sheets of paper. I nearly fell off my chair. You ought to consider them.
I read the list he gave me. It included a NATO conference, the United Nations Assembly, the EEC Parliament, negotiations in Hong Kong about the future of the colony, Commonwealth meetings in Ottawa, and summits in Peking and Moscow. I marvelled at Dorothys knowledge of the system and the people who operate it.
But to Humphrey I said: If Im away all this time, wont it mean an awful lot of extra work for you?
I think, Prime Minister, that its very important for you to take your place on the world stage.
I agree, I said enthusiastically. But its asking too much of you. I really must try to lighten your load.
He eyed me with much suspicion. Oh no, theres no need.
I exuded crocodile sympathy at him. Oh, but there is, Humphrey, there is. Ive been thinking too. On top of everything else, youre Head of the Civil Service, arent you?
He was evasive. Well, the Treasury handle pay and rations.
But you are responsible for promotion, appointments and so on. Isnt that a bit much for you?
He laughed off the notion. No, no, not at all. Takes no time at all. A doddle.
I was enjoying myself. The promotion and appointment of six hundred and eighty thousand people is a doddle?
Well, I mean, its delegated, he explained carefully.
I smiled cheerfully. Oh good, I said. So if its delegated anyway, thered be no problem in moving it to the Treasury.