Sarah heard her out contentedly, eyes twinkling under the brim of her costermonger's hat while she pecked at her tea and flapped a big loose hand at the mosquitoes, never ceasing to smile at passersby or call to them — "Hi there, Jeannie sweet, you bad girl! What you doing with that layabout Santo? You going write to Justin all about this, dear?"
The question unsettled Ghita. Was it good or bad that she should be proposing to write to Justin? Was there innuendo in all? In the High Commission Justin was an unperson. Was he one here as well?
"Well, I'm sure Justin would like me to write to him," she conceded awkwardly. "But I'll only do that if I can tell him things that will put his mind to rest, if that's possible. I mean I wouldn't tell him anything that was going to hurt him," she protested, losing her direction. "I mean Justin knows that Tessa and Arnold were traveling together. The whole world knows by now. Whatever was between them, he's reconciled to that."
"Oh, there was nothing between those two, darling, believe me," Sarah said with an easy laugh. "That was all newspaper talk. There was just no way. I know that for a fact.
Hi, Abby, how you doing, darling? That's my sister Abby. She's had more than many. She's been married almost four times."
The significance of both statements, if there was any, passed Ghita by. She was too busy shoring up what sounded increasingly like a silly lie. "Justin wants to fill in the blanks," she struggled on bravely. "Get the details shipshape in his mind. So that he can piece together everything she did and thought about in her last few days. I mean, obviously — if you told me something that was going to be, well, painful to him — I wouldn't dream of passing it on. Obviously."
"Shipshape," Sarah repeated, and shook her head again, smiling to herself. "That's why I always loved the English language. "Shipshape" is a right word for that good lady. Now what do you think they did when they were up here, darling? Spooning around like honeymooners? That wasn't their way at all."
"Attending the gender workshop, obviously. Did you attend it yourself? You were probably running it or something grand. I never asked you what you do here. I should know. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, darling. You're not sorry. You're just a little bit at sea. Not quite shipshape yet." She laughed. "Yes, well, now I remember. I did attend that workshop. Maybe I led it too. We take it in turns. It was a good group, I remember that. Two bright tribeswomen from Dhiak, a medical widow woman from Aweil, a bit pompous but receptive despite her pomposity, and a couple of paralegals from I don't know. That was a good team, I'll say that straight. But what those women will do when they get home again to Sudan, that you can never tell. You can scratch your head and you can wonder as much as you will."
"Maybe Tessa related to the paralegals," Ghita put in hopefully.
"Maybe she did, dear. But a lot of those women never rode in an aeroplane before. A lot of them get sick and scared, so we're obliged to cheer them up before they'll talk and listen, which is what they're brought here to do. Some of them get so afraid they never talk to anyone at all, just want to go home to their indignities. Never get into this business if you're afraid of failure, darling, I tell people. Count your successes is Sudan Sarah's advice and don't even think about the occasions when you failed. D'you still want to ask me about that workshop?"
Ghita's confusion increased. "Well, did she shine at it? Did she enjoy it?"
"Now I don't know about that, darling, do I?"
"There must be something you remember that she did or said. Nobody forgets Tessa for long." She sounded rude to herself, and didn't mean to. "Or Arnold."
"Well, I won't say she did contribute to that discussion, dear, because she didn't. Tessa did not contribute to that discussion. I can say that with certainty."
"Did Arnold?"
"No."
"Not even read a paper or anything?"
"Nothing at all, darling. Neither of them."
"You mean they just sat there, silent? Both of them? It's not like Tessa to keep quiet. Nor Arnold for that matter. How long did the course last?"
"Five days. But Tessa and Arnold didn't stay in Loki five days. Not many people do. Everyone who comes here likes to feel they're going somewhere else. Tessa and Arnold were no different from the rest." She paused and examined Ghita, as if measuring her suitability for something. "Do you know what I'm saying, darling?"
"No. I'm afraid I don't."
"Maybe it's what I'm not saying that you know."
"I don't know that either."
"Well, what the hell are you up to then?"
"I'm trying to find out what they did. Arnold and Tessa. In their last few days. Justin wrote and asked me to particularly."
"You got his letter with you then, by any chance, dear?"
Ghita produced it with a trembling hand from a new shoulder bag she'd bought for the trip. Sarah took it into the tukul to read it by the overhead light bulb, then stood by herself before returning to the veranda and sitting herself down in her chair with an air of considerable moral confusion.
"You going to tell me something, dear?"
"If I can."
"Did Tessa tell you with her own sweet mouth that she and Arnold were coming up to Loki for a gender workshop?"
"It's what they told all of us."
"And you believed her?"
"Yes, I did. All of us did. Justin did. We still do."
"And Tessa was a close friend of yours? Like a sister, as I heard. But all the same she never even told you she had some other reason to come up here? Or that the gender workshop was a straight pretext, an excuse, same as Self-Sustainment is a pretext for you, I expect?"
"At the beginning of our friendship, Tessa told me things. Then she became worried for me. She thought she'd told me too much. It wasn't fair to burden me. I'm a temporary employee, locally employed. She knew I was thinking of applying for a permanent post. Sitting the exams again."
"You still thinking along those lines, dear?"
"Yes, I am. But that doesn't mean I can't be told the truth."
Sarah took a sip of her tea, tugged at the brim of her cap and sat herself comfortably in her chair. "You going to stay here three nights is my understanding."
"Yes. Back to Nairobi on Thursday."
"That's nice. That's very nice. And you will have a good conference. Judith is a gifted practical woman who takes no shit from anybody. A little sharp with the slower-witted ones, but never deliberately unkind. And tomorrow evening, I shall introduce you to my good friend Captain McKenzie. You never heard of him?"
"No."
"Tessa or Arnold never mentioned a Captain McKenzie in your hearing?"
"No."
"Well, the captain is a pilot here with us at Loki. He flew down to Nairobi today so I guess you and he crossed each other in the air. He had some supplies to pick up and a little business to attend to. You will like Captain McKenzie very much. He is a nice-mannered man with more heart to him than most people have body, and that's a fact. Very little takes place in these parts that escapes the notice of Captain McKenzie, and very little escapes his lips either. The captain has fought in many unpleasant wars but now he is a devoted man of peace, which is why he's here in Loki feeding my starving people."
"Did he know Tessa well?" Ghita asked fearfully.
"Captain McKenzie knew Tessa and he thought she was a fine lady, and that was that. Captain McKenzie would no more presume on a married lady than — well, than Arnold would. But Captain McKenzie knew Arnold better than he knew Tessa. And he thinks the police in Nairobi are all mad to be going after Arnold like that, and he's proposing to tell them so while he's there. I would say that is one of the pivotal reasons for his making the journey to Nairobi at this time. And they won't like what he is going to tell them because, believe me, Captain McKenzie speaks his mind without let or hindrance."