But he said I had a choice to make. And choices can't be made without knowledge--without answers. So why can't I open the box?
The truth was that I was afraid of answers. Ignorance may not be bliss, but it seemed preferable to all the pain that accompanied the answers I'd found already.
I stared at the box until my knees ached in their position. My fingers trembled as I reached for the blackened gold latch. I popped it open and pushed up the lid. Inside, I found a book that looked older and more brittle than any of the ones in Dad's office. The cover was a faded sapphire-blue, with the same gold sun-and-moon inlays as were on the box. I brushed the cover tentatively. I was afraid the book might fall to pieces as I picked it up.
Several slips of paper protruded from the top end of the book. Had Dad marked certain passages to make my reading easier? I turned the delicate tissuelike pages to the first marked entry. The page looked like a handwritten letter, or a copy of one, in faded brown ink. Dad said this was a translation, not the original. I found myself wishing I'd taken Mrs. Miller's calligraphy class, in addition to painting, as I tried to make out the pale, scripted words.
My Dearest Katharine, Tidings of the joyous Marriage to Simon Saint Moon could not have come at a letter time. My encampment has been besieged by despair and many of the foot soldiers and squires cower at the cries of wolves that surround our camp by night. They think god will let them devour us because of our sins.
My Squires, Alerius, claims that the wolves are not ordinary animals, but the Dogs of Death of local by god to be his soldiers but the devil turned them from their uest, and now they are cursed to roam them from their guest and now they are cursed to roam the earth as savage breasts.
Oh little sister, you would love dear Alerius. I do not regret taking him on as my squire after the fires many of the other local boys heae not fared as well. I pray we will give up on this campaign and move on to the holy land. I did not leaver our village behind to side in the killing of other Christians. Perhaps the devil is typing to sway us from our quest also.
Father Miguel assures us that our mission is true and that god will protect us in our light against the Greek Traitors
A knock sounded softly against my bedroom door. I covered the box and book with my blanket. "Come in," I said, expecting Charity with dinner.
"Hey." Jude leaned against the door frame. He held a dark green folder in his hands. "This is for you." He crossed the distance to my bed and handed it to me.
"What is it?" I pushed the book farther under the covers with my foot.
"All of your homework." Jude half smiled. "Junior grades are critical for college admissions. I didn't want you to get behind. I got April to copy her notes from English. But
Mrs. Howell says you still owe her a parent-signed test."
Crap. I'd forgotten all about that.
"I told her you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, and I talked her into letting you retake the exam instead. She says you can do it after school when you're feeling better."
"Wow. Thank you. That was really ..." Just like Jude. I don't know why I was so surprised. This was just the thing my brother always did. It's what made him ... him. But I'd figured he'd never want to talk to me again. Not after what I'd done. "I really appreciate this.
Jude nodded. "When you're up to it, TT1 wait for you after school while you take your test. That way you won't have to walk home alone." He walked to the door, stopped, and looked back at me. "It's time to get out of bed, Gracie."
He knows. I know the truth about what happened to him ... and he knows.
"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," I said softly.
Jude nodded slightly and shut the door behind him.
After I heard Jude walk down the hall, I pulled the box and book out from under the blanket. I closed the lid over Katharine and her brother and locked the box in my desk drawer. I couldn't read any further. I couldn't search for answers anymore. I needed to drop the whole issue. Jude was moving on, and so was I.
Chapter Nineteen
Choices
THURSDAY MORNING
I realized as Jude and I drove the few blocks to school in the numbing cold, that even though there was an understanding between us, we still weren't going to talk about it.
Some things never change.
Maybe it's better that way.
Jude walked me to my locker and then took off to find April before first period. I tried to act natural, like this was just any other day and I was any other girl. But it was hard to pretend that I was normal.
Normal people gossiped--mostly about the strange things that had happened over the weekend. I'd hoped that the rumor mill would have died down during my three-
day absence from school, but apparently it was still running full tilt. Word had spread about Jenny Wilson finding her mangled cat in the middle of her cul-de-sac. Other people talked about Daniel rescuing James in the woods. They whispered about Jude's accusations. And I got the distinct feeling people were also talking about me--more than the usual, that is.
Normal people passed the flyers plastered around the school of Jessica Day's class picture from Central High. They'd look at her long blonde hair and her big doelike eyes and shake their heads, saying, "What a shame." But normal people didn't know what danger she may really be in. They didn't know what horrors really existed in this world. They had no idea there was a werewolf in my AP art class.
How would everyone else react if they knew that truth?
Would they accuse Daniel of being the new Markham Street Monster? Would they blame him for all the bad things that had happened lately?
I stopped mid stride on my way to fourth-period art. Did I believe any of those things? I told myself that it couldn't be true. Daniel had that necklace, so even if he went into wolf mode he'd be able to stop the monster from hurting people. Wouldn't he? There had to be another explanation.
Or maybe that necklace didn't work as well as he and my dad thought. Or perhaps it did work--perhaps Daniel was fully conscious when he did those things...
I stood outside the art room until long after the bell rang. I knew that Daniel was in there. Enough people had been talking about him for me to know he'd shown up for school. I wished he hadn't. I took three deep breaths. Daniel wouldn't hurt those people if he was in his right mind. There was definitely another explanation--and it wasn't my job to figure it out. Someone else could play Velma from now on.
I pushed the door open and went straight for Barlow's desk. I put my tree sketch in front of him and didn't wait for any comment before I went to the back of the room for my supply bucket. Lynn and Jenny stopped talking as I approached. Lynn shot me a sidelong glance and then said something to Jenny behind her hand. I ignored them and pulled my watercolors out of my bucket. I could feel Daniel's presence only a few yards away; I could smell his earthy-almond scent even with all the oil solvents and chalk dust fingering in the air, hut I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I grabbed the rest of what I needed and joined April at our table.
"I called you, like, ten times," April said. She didn't look at me as she drew sharp, angled lines in her sketch pad. "You could have at least emailed me back or something."