Nando brushed past Rhanu, who let him pass. He frowned as the words lingered. They hurt more than he was willing to admit, mostly because they hit too close to home.
Familiar fingers squeezed his arm. "Don't feed too much into my brother's words. He is very protective."
Rhanu turned. "What did you hear?"
Ayna smiled. "Enough to know that you are troubled."
"As I should be. Your brother has the right of it. And what did he mean by marrying?"
Ayna's eyes turned downcast as though suddenly shy. "I…joined my khara to your own, Rhanu. I spoke of it earlier."
"I remember."
"There were…consequences."
His eyebrows lifted. "Such as…?"
She stilled her face and looked him directly in the eye. "I am attuned to you, Rhanu. I know where you are and can sense your moods. You will feel this bond as well, once you learn to focus and attune your senses."
He resisted the urge to take a cautious step back. "What kind of bewitching is this?"
She gave an exasperated sigh. "No witchcraft, Rhanu. A custom from the Age of Illumination. I did it to save your life."
He was surprised by the stab of disappointment. "I see. Last night…your attraction to me is simply a response to this bond."
"No." She reached to seize his hand. "The bond is but a channel, but the source comes from the heart. The bond would be dulled, barely noticeable if I had no feelings for you." Her cheeks colored at the confession, but her eyes stayed fixed on his face.
"Normally it is a custom of the Sha. We do not marry often, but when one chooses a mate, it is for life. A ceremony is performed by Circle, joining the two in a bond that goes beyond mere commitment. It is a joining of flesh and consciousness to further unite the betrothed. The Aelon performed a similar rite, called solestra—much more complex than what the Sha do. But what we can do is enough. The moon is our witness, and when we give of each other, it is to seal the commitment."
He took a deep breath. "And last night, that was…?"
She turned her head, unable to meet his eyes. "I…don't expect you to adopt our ways, Rhanu. If you do not want this, I will not hold it against you. I just thought…it doesn't matter what I thought. You are a free man, Rhanu. Free to leave or to stay. I do not wish to force you into something you don't want."
Rhanu knew better than to be fooled by her show of indifference. He squeezed her hand tightly. "I want this enough, Ayna." It was startling to hear the words, but it was true. Something had changed inside, ever since he laid eyes on her. "I just don't know if I am worthy."
"Of what?"
"Of you."
Ayna laughed. Had he ever thought her cold and aloof? What a fool he had been. She brought his knuckles to her lips and softly kissed them.
"Be worthy of yourself, Rhanu. Everything else will follow." She pulled his arm. "Come. We must continue our journey."
He halted. "Ayna." When she turned, he saw the anticipation she tried to hide behind a calm expression.
"What must I do?"
"It is all right, Rhanu. As I said…"
"Let me finish." His heart pounded as he tried to still his nerves. "I know nothing of being a husband, but I would be honored to try. You've given me something valuable, and I would be a fool to turn away from it. All I have done in life is chase what I could not have. I don't want to run anymore."
Her smile was all the answer he could hope for. "A name."
Rhanu looked at her questioningly. "I don't understand—"
"You asked what you must do. Names are powerful, Rhanu. So to make our pact complete, I give you a name, and you give me one. No one but we are to use it, to bind us together. We say our words in the Chamber of Lights, and we will be joined for life."
Rhanu slowly nodded. "A name I can do. In fact, I know just the—"
She teasingly slapped his arm. "Not so quickly. I want to know you put some thought and care into it." She paused. "A gift would not hurt, either."
He laughed as they joined the throngs on the way to Halladen. Their pace was leisurely, no one hurrying or anxious. Rhanu enjoyed the respite with Ayna, walking with their fingers intertwined. It was as if he saw her for the first time. Behind her normal sagacious mask was someone almost shy, prone to quick smiles and endearing glances.
It took until midday before they reached the Hidden City. Rhanu had expected to see great buildings and palaces with towering spires, but no such sights existed there. The building of such things was a human occupation. The Aelon had no need when nature surpassed anything that man could dream of.
But the place bore the touch of their hands. Nature was gently manipulated, molded to create a world of breathtaking wonder. The bridges that connected the trees and lodges were built as a part of them, while cottages and homes were burrowed into the hills. The caves were smoothed out, forming a series of passageways, and the roads were trails worn from constant traffic. Treetops soared higher and more majestically than any tower, and the surrounding mountains were more formidable than any fortress. A sparkling lake was centered in the midst of the valley, fed by the free-flowing streams.
But the place bore injuries as well. It appeared to be in recovery from some form of attack. Many of the trees bore scorch marks as though daggers of fire had lanced them, and broken pieces of rubble were piled in several areas. Workers labored at repairs and gardeners toiled among the trees and shrubbery, gently tending to the wounded grounds.
"What happened here?"
"The akhkharu." Ayna spat the word. "They dared to bring violence to Halladen, searching for Eymunder."
"Nyori's staff?"
"Yes," Ayna said. "We were fortunate they discovered it was gone, or many more would have suffered. We of the Sha can defend ourselves, but we are not soldiers. We do not know the ways of killing."
Rhanu exhaled softly. "I pray that you never do. This home of yours…never have I seen such a place."
Nando smirked at Rhanu as he joined them. "And you never will again. No other realm can rival Halladen." He pointed to a large encampment at the center of the green valley, so natural it seemed to have grown there. "There is where we will stay."
"Does Gray Brother wait for me there?"
"He dwells alone. There." Nando pointed up to the top of the cliff face, where the summit was barely visible. "If you would speak to Gray Brother, you will have to brave the steps. Better for you to save face and leave now."
Rhanu smiled. "I've come this far. What are a few more steps?"
"Be careful," Ayna said. Nando rolled his eyes at her tone.
RHANU REALIZED THE truth of Ayna's warning soon enough. The steps were barely hewn into the stone, forcing the passage to become more of a treacherous climb. The wind returned to hatefully chilly, and patches of ice slicked the pitted stone. His fingers numbed, his breath clouded in the thin air.
It couldn't just be simple, could it? That's it — keep your mind off of the real issue. Keep yourself from thinking about her.
Ayna's face invaded his thoughts regardless. He still felt her mouth on his neck, still smelled her spicy fragrance. He wanted her; there was no doubt about that. But marriage?
You are married to death. Like Nando said — killing is your first love.
He shook away the mocking voice. His fingers dug into fissures in the hewn rock; his muscles flexed as he pulled himself up. Concentrate on the climb. Not on a pair of amber eyes and a lovely face.
But try as he could, the memory of the previous night still lingered. Had she bewitched him? It certainly didn't feel like it, but who could know such things? The way her body felt pressed against his…better not to think of it. But it was more than just the night of passion that clouded his mind. It was the sense of calm he felt when around her. Peace. He had not felt that since…