Bottom line, he needed to be challenged to survive. Not only because the victories from those challenges fed his demon, keeping the little shit happy rather than frothing inside his mind, but also because he felt so alive. And when he was with Kaia, he wasn’t just alive, he was sizzling. Inside and out.
He recalled how desperately he’d craved her one night when he’d found her in the hallway of the fortress, dressed only in a purple robe, her hair in disarray around her shoulders, her nipples hard and peeking through the thin material, her feet bare. She’d looked well-pleasured and aroused at the same time and he’d wanted to sate that arousal in a way previous lovers had failed to do.
Thank the gods Paris had stuck his head out his bedroom door and tossed Kaia her slippers before Defeat locked on the challenge of having her. Or so Strider had thought at the time. He’d walked away from Kaia and blocked all images of her from his head. Since that moment, however, he’d been grumpy, no one able to satisfy him. Even his reluctant crush on Haidee hadn’t helped distract him from the Harpy. Now…
His satisfaction was unparalleled. So was his desire to keep this woman with him. To never again let her go. To never again walk away from her.
Yeah. He loved her.
He wasn’t shocked by the revelation. He’d probably known on some deep, primal level all along, he just hadn’t wanted to admit it. Had fought it. No more fighting.
Kaia was it for him. The one he wanted, needed, had to have. She was the beginning and the end. His. His in every way. His other half, his needed half. He’d resisted her appeal far too long, convinced himself she would be like all the others. But how could she be like all the others when she was so much more, in every possible way?
To tell her or not to tell her? Would a declaration from him distract her from the games?
“Strider?” Her tone was hesitant, as if she feared she’d scared him.
When you looked on the surface, she was cocky, confident and unmanageable. When you looked deeper, you saw how vulnerable she truly was. He hated himself for not seeing those vulnerabilities sooner. How many times and in how many ways had he hurt her over the past few weeks?
He squeezed her tight. “You know I won’t lie to you, right?”
And he’d thought her stiff before. “Right.” So much dread layered that single word, all hope disintegrated.
Even as he ached for her, he tried not to grin. “Then here it is, flat out. You were… Shit, there aren’t even words to describe how good you were. I’ve never experienced anything like it, like you, and I loved every damn moment of it.”
“Really?” she asked again.
“Oh, yeah. Really.”
“Well.” She kissed his chest, and she sounded self-assured when she added, “That’s because I’m made of awesome.”
“And dipped in awesome.”
“And sprinkled with awesome.”
“Gods, I love the taste of awesome.”
Another chuckle escaped her, warm and rich as wine. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. And I mean that. You’re a goddess, Kaia.”
Another kiss, soft and sweet. “Nah. That’s just a rumor one of my old boyfriends started.”
A grin quirked the corners of his lips. “So.” He traced his fingertips up and down the ridges of her spine. “When will you be fertile?”
“Why? Do you want a baby?”
“Hell, no. Are you kidding? I’m scared enough about the day when Maddox and Ashlyn’s little Strider and Stridette are running around.” Although, he almost…liked the idea of a little redheaded brat wrecking havoc on the fortress, driving him insane, challenging him every minute of every day. That “like” sort of panicked him. “I asked about fertile-time because I’m trying to figure out when I need to buy stock in Trojans.”
She scraped his nipple with her teeth. “Smart-ass. Harpies are only fertile about once a year and I don’t hit that part of my cycle for another eight months. Plus, you only have, like, a one in a million chance of making an immortal with me anyway.”
“Actually, I have a one in ten chance of making a felon.”
A laugh bubbled from her, and he relished the carefree sound.
Pride filled him. I did that. “Why such low odds?” he asked, curious. If she thought him lacking in that department, well, he’d haul her ass to a specialist, do the cup thing and prove just how exceptional his little swimmers were.
Ego check.
Well, they were.
“Because of my paternal heritage,” she said, a bit hesitant. “The Phoenix have never made children easily. That’s why they’re nearing extinction.”
“If it’s so hard for them to procreate, how’d your mother have twins with one?”
Her glow dimmed. “She’s an overachiever.”
“So are you.” Speaking of kids, though… “When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” He found that he was desperate to learn about her, her past. Her hopes and dreams.
A sigh of longing. “To be honest, I wanted to be ruler of the entire world. Or the ruler’s trophy wife.”
He was the one to laugh this time.
She lifted her head long enough to glare at him. “What?”
“I like your goals, that’s all. They’re cute. Like you.”
“Cute.” She rolled her eyes. “Exactly what every girl wants to be in the eyes of the man she, you know, is riding like a carnival pony.”
Now who was the smart-ass? “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with cute. I’m cute as a button.”
Another roll of her eyes and she settled back into his side. “I’ve mentioned your humbleness before, I’m sure. It’s touching, really. So what did you want to be when you grew up?” Her fingers traced little circles over his chest.
He clasped her hand and brought those fingers to his mouth, kissing the digits before returning them to his chest. “I was never a kid, so I never thought about it.”
“Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting. So why do you have a birthmark on your ass?”
An eyebrow arched up. “Noticed that, did you?”
“I’m very observant,” she said gravely. “Had nothing to do with checking you out all the time or following you with stalkerlike focus.”
Adorable girl. “It’s not a birthmark. It’s a tattoo. Or what remains of one.” And something he never discussed, but this was Kaia. “A woman challenged me to have her name inked into my skin. I did, but I had Sabin there to tattoo over it if the stupid thing couldn’t be removed.”
“You killed the woman, of course.”
So bloodthirsty, his Kaia, but then, that was one of the things he loved about her. “I killed her dreams of happily ever after with me.”
She nodded in understanding. “Now she suffers eternally. Good job. But, man, that’s sad, about your lack of a childhood, I mean.”
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Not really. You can’t miss what you don’t know about.”
“Well, one day very soon, we’re going to take a bath together and I’m going to show you how to play rubber ducky.” Her hand glided down his stomach, swirled around his navel and finally cupped him.
He jolted in exquisite reflex. “I think I’ll like that game.”
“Good. And guess what else? You finally earned your nickname.”
“Oh, yeah?”
Her tongue flicked out, laving his nipple into a tight little bead. “Yeah. Bonin’ the Barbarian.”
An unexpected snort left him. “I like it. Way better than the Sexorcist.”
“Way better.”
“Well, you’ve earned a new nickname yourself, Kaia darling.” When her hand remained on his sac, he reached down and moved her fingers around his ever-hardening cock. Oh, yeah. That was the stuff.
The location change distracted her from their topic, but only for a few seconds. She tensed. Nicknames were painful for her. He got that. He also got that while she hated her title, she felt like she deserved it. But everyone made mistakes and she’d been blamed for hers long enough. For gods’ sake, she’d been a child. Strider couldn’t even imagine the trouble he would have gotten himself into if he’d grown from child to man, rather than springing to life fully formed.