‘Will you share what he tells you with us?’ Amanvah asked.
Rojer looked at her a long time. ‘If he asks me to keep his counsel private, I will.’ He frowned, then shrugged. ‘Unless I decide I shouldn’t.’ He smiled at her. ‘Gotta be free, don’t I?’
19
333 AR Summer
11 Dawns Before New Moon
Leesha sat in Bruna’s favourite rocker, wrapped in the old woman’s shawl as she worked her needlepoint, trying to ignore the blinding pain behind her eye. Darsy had taken care of the cottage in her absence, but the garden showed the woman still had a brown thumb, and she was hopeless at keeping things in their proper place. It would be days before the place was restored to Leesha’s satisfaction, everything just so.
Even so, simply being back in her mentor’s chair and shawl was an enormous comfort. Many times in recent weeks she had doubted she might ever see home again. Even now, it seemed almost surreal.
But why shouldn’t it? She was home, but in countless ways things would never be the same. There was a Royal in the Hollow now, determined to throw out their old ways, and much of Leesha’s power in the process. Could Leesha stop him? Should she?
There were Krasians building a tent city in her backyard, on land Bruna had entrusted to her. Would they help bring about the peace Leesha dreamed of, or be a cancer in the centre of the Hollow, as she saw in her nightmares?
Arlen, whom she had thought would always keep the Hollow safe, had left them to fend for themselves, and come back a changed man. It remained to be seen if this was for better or worse.
And there’s a baby in my belly.
Even if the chemics hadn’t confirmed it, every day made her more and more certain of the life growing within her. Ahmann Jardir’s child. It had to be, for she had lain with no other — but that, too, seemed surreal. Arlen had feared putting a demon child in her, and she told him she did not care. Now the demon of the desert had planted a child in her, and she told herself the same, but was it true? The child, she would love and cherish, but how many lives would be lost when Ahmann came forward to claim it? She could not hide her state forever. Night, the dama’ting might already have seen it in their foretellings.
She stroked her belly, feeling a tear begin a slow drift down her nose. Please be a girl.
The thought filled her with shame. Would she love a boy any less? Of course not. But Ahmann would not likely bring an army north for a daughter.
Again, she thought of her mother’s words. Find a man and bed him quick. Elona certainly knew how to do that.
But while her mother was vile, she was often right. Elona saw the world through the lens of her own desires, and understood the desires of others in a way logical Leesha never could. Was what Leesha had planned to do with Gared — bedding him and convincing all that her child was his — any less vile than Elona having her way with the son of her old lover behind her husband’s back?
Night, Leesha thought. I think my plan was worse.
The worst of it was, she was still considering it. Not with Gared, of course, but surely there were other candidates — no shortage of brave, strong men in the Hollow. Even Yon Gray was increasingly young and handsome, and fifteen years a widower. He had pinched her bottom enough times to let her know he was interested, but it had been harmless at the time — the hopeless fancies of a dirty old man. Now …
She shuddered at the thought, remembering his toothless grin. No, not Yon. But there were others. How many lives could be saved if her child’s heritage was kept secret?
Of course, Ahmann might as soon march north to kill the man who had laid hands on his intended. Night, Kaval would likely do it for him. It was a terrifying thought, but not easily dismissed. Ahmann might truly believe he was doing what was needed to save the world, but he was ruthless in pursuit of that goal, and he had decided Leesha — or at least, what was between her legs — was his gateway to the North. He would murder anyone who tried to touch her.
Just like he tried to murder Arlen. She didn’t want to believe it, wanted to heap it with Arlen’s dissembling about why he did not want her, but both would-be Deliverers were honest to a fault. If he said it, she believed him. But as with Ahmann’s dancing around the subject of the Par’chin, so, too, were Arlen’s comments cryptic. It was time to make him come clean.
Night, what will he think when he sees my belly swell?
In the distance she heard music, heralding Rojer’s approach. They had agreed to speak privately before Arlen arrived, but Leesha hadn’t realized it was so late. She looked to the window and saw it was near twilight, her needlepoint lying forgotten on her lap. The sky was darkening earlier and earlier each day. Solstice was well past, and the light grew shorter as darkness drew strength. She shuddered at the thought.
But as the music drew nearer, it drove away Leesha’s fears and worries the same way it did demons. She put a kettle on the fire and left the door open for him, knowing Wonda was patrolling the yard, keeping other visitors safely at bay.
Rojer entered soon after, holding his fiddle and bow in one hand. Leesha’s eyes flicked to the base, but the warded chinrest was absent.
‘Left it back at the inn,’ Rojer said. He pointed with his bow at Bruna’s ancient shawl about Leesha’s shoulders. ‘Couldn’t wait to wrap that old rag around you, could you?’
Leesha fingered the old knitted yarn, mended countless times over the years by the woman’s skilled fingers. There were greybeards in the Hollow who said she had worn it when they were lads, half a century and more ago. Leesha never washed it, and it still smelled of Bruna, taking her back to a time when this cottage was the safest place in the world. ‘You have your talismans, Rojer, and I have mine.’
Rojer threw his motley Cloak of Unsight, warded by Leesha herself, over a chair back, completely disregarding the cloak hooks by the door. He slung his bag of marvels atop it and plopped into the chair, putting his feet on the table, fiddle tucked under his chin. ‘Fair and true.’
Leesha gave his chair a kick as she went to fetch the teacups and biscuits, knocking his feet down. ‘What did you have to tell your wives to let you come unescorted?’
‘Easier than you’d think,’ Rojer said. ‘Got a pat on the head and some nonsense about dice, then she sent me on my way.’
‘Nothing about those dice is easy,’ Leesha said, bringing the tea.
‘Honest word,’ Rojer nodded. ‘But their power seems real enough.’
Leesha fought the urge to spit. ‘A crutch to educate their guesses a bit, but if they were as powerful as the dama’ting would have us think, the Krasians would already have every woman in the North in a veil and every man in a spearwall.’
‘Good crutch,’ Rojer said, taking a sip of tea. His face screwed up. ‘You always skimp on the sugar.’ He took a flask out of his pocket and poured a bit of caramel-coloured liquid into the cup. Leesha frowned, but he simply smiled, raising the cup to her before taking a sip. ‘Fixed. But we can talk bitter tea and demon dice later. Time is short to discuss the crazy girl.’
Leesha didn’t have to ask whom he meant. An image of Renna Tanner flashed in her mind, the young woman lifting Enkido over her head. Leesha had got a good look at her then. Under all the blackstem wards and snarls was a pretty round face, and a body that put even Leesha’s to shame — rippling with muscle while lacking nothing of a woman’s curve.
Is that what he wanted? she wondered. A woman who can strangle a demon with her bare hands?
If so, it wasn’t Renna’s fault. It wasn’t fair to blame her. ‘We don’t know that she’s any more crazy than he is, Rojer.’