We took what we thought would be useful, stuffing little blister packs and loose pills into our pockets to sort through later.
“Man, people have their priorities all out of whack.” Doc said. “Anyone but me notice that there’s all these antibiotics, all these low-grade pain relievers? But have you seen a single narcotic? Any type of controlled substance at all?”
“Beer cooler’s been wiped out, too.” I added. “Noticed that when we first came in. Wine section, too.”
Carl had been strangely silent since we’d left Doc with Watchmaker’s body out there in the field. We tried to pull him into the conversation, tried to distract him with questions, but it was obvious from the distant look in his eye that his mind was somewhere far away. And there was pain etched into his face; pain that I somehow knew was deeper than just the loss of the old man.
“Hell even before all this shit went down, people were looking for a way to escape. I guess now, for some at least, a little self-prescribed numbness is all they’ve got left.”
We were all silent for a moment as we listened to the wind bang the signage out front against the plate glass window. Finally Doc broke the silence with a hushed whisper.
“We’ve got to get her somewhere warm. Somewhere out of this cold. We can dose her up, but this chill’s not good for her lungs. We’ll be fighting a losing battle.”
“I thought that was the plan all along. You guys told me so the first day we met.”
“Yeah, but this walking the earth shit isn’t cutting it anymore. We can keep heading south, but I doubt she’ll last another two weeks out there in the snow. We need some wheels.”
For the first time in nearly an hour, Carl spoke but the voice seemed almost as if it were running on autopilot. It was like the words were somehow detached from the man speaking them.
“You remember Bloomburg, Doc? All the trouble we got ourselves into ’cause we thought a car would make life easier?”
Doc took a deep breath and seemed to turn Carl’s question over in his mind for a bit.
“How the hell could I forget? I thought you and I were going to die on that damn freeway. But we don’t really have much of a choice here. If Sadie isn’t somewhere warmer, and soon, we’re going to lose her too.”
It occurred to me that our lives had basically been condensed into that one statement: we don’t have much of a choice. Survival made demands on you. Sometimes its requirements were easy ones. Other times it was like wrestling with an alligator. But in the end, consequences dictated our course of action and we were helpless to fight against the flow.
“I saw a Hummer as I was coming into town. Those things are built like tanks. As long as there’s gas and we can find the keys, I say we put some serious distance between us and this town. Hell, if we’re lucky we could be in Florida in no time at all.”
For the first time since I’d met the group, I felt like an outsider. And I’m not sure why. But part of me thought this was a decision they would have to make on their own.
“Shit, Doc, I know you’re right. I know Sadie has to be taken outta this place soon.”
“But?”
Carl sighed and looked his friend directly in the eye.
“But I can’t go with you, man. I’ve been turning some shit over in my head today. Revisiting old haunts. Stirring up ghosts.”
“Look, Carl, we can…. ”
“No, hear me out. I’ve gotta try to set things right in my own mind. Find some sort of closure like all my ex-girlfriends used to say. I’ve gotta do this for me, Doc.”
“Carl, let’s talk about this.”
“Ain’t nothing to talk about really. You take Sadie and Josie and that Hummer and get your asses to Florida. There’s a little island down there called Captiva. You work your way there and sooner or later I’ll meet up with ya.”
“Carl, whatever you need to do we can…. ”
“You get her safe, Doc. Both of these ladies.”
“Fuck that.”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’m not leaving you alone out there, Carl, while the three of us speed away. Wherever you go, I go too.”
“Dang it, Josie, don’t argue with me. You’re going to…. ”
“I’m going to stay with you. And you better get used to the idea because I’ll just follow your tracks in the snow if I have to.”
There must have been something in my voice because Carl lapsed back into silence then. He looked at me and I tried to read the expression on his face but it was like looking at a book written in a language I didn’t understand.
Several hours later, Sadie was laid out in the backseat of the Hummer and Doc was behind the wheel with the window rolled down. All of our goodbyes had been said; tears had been shed. But it seemed as if no one really wanted to part ways. There was always one last thing that needed said, one last reminder.
“Captiva Island, Doc. Don’t you forget, hear? We’ll all be swimming in the ocean together before you know it.”
“You take care of him, Josie. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, okay?”
Finally the excuses ran dry and Carl and I were left to watch as the yellow Hummer slowly pulled away. Doc threw his hand out in a wave and we stood there together, Carl with his left arm wrapped around my waist, his free hand waving back.
We stood and watched until they were nothing more than a yellow speck in the distance. A speck that rapidly faded into nothingness. And, just like that, Sadie and Doc were out of our lives.
“What do ya say we get this show on the road? Sooner I take care of my shit, the sooner we can be catching the rays with Doc and Sadie.”
I nodded my head and took his hand in mine. As we walked through the snow, I glanced back over my shoulder, half-hoping to see the Hummer making its way back to us. But there was nothing but the clouds creeping across the sky and a flock of birds silhouetted against the sun.
I thought of Florida, of the crash of waves against the beach, of Carl suntanned and lean with sand caked on his calves and bare feet. Doc and Sadie were lounging on towels and I was laughing as the tide crept in and slowly eroded the walls of the castle Carl had worked so hard to build. That was the goal I had to keep in mind. Sunny, Florida….
But I had no way of knowing that was the last time I would ever see my friends again. Within the span of a week’s time, I would be dead.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: THE CHILD
After Mr. Carl killed my Mommy, I just kept running through the woods. I didn’t know where I was goin’ and really didn’t care neither. But I kept thinkin’ that I heard him behind me and that he was comin’ to get me so there wouldn’t be any witnesses or anything to what he did.
I got so tired, but every time I’d stop and try to find a place to hide for a while I’d get this picture in my head. I’d see Mr. Carl shooting Mommy over and over and I wanted to cry but just couldn’t anymore. And I couldn’t figure out why he’d did it. I thought he wanted Mommy all to himself and that he wanted me out of the way so he could have her. But then he murdered her instead of tryin’ to get her to a doctor or something and it just didn’t make any sense. Nothin’ made any sense anymore. All I knew what that I was scared and more lonely than I’d ever been and I wanted to hug Pepper and Mr. Boots so tight that they’d squirm to get away.
But instead I just kept on runnin’ ’til finally I came to this little town. At first everything looked pretty much normal except it was all empty which I thought was really weird. But I also thought maybe I could find a policeman and tell him what Mr. Carl did to Mommy. So I started going in to all the stores only there wasn’t ever anyone in them. It was kinda like everyone in town had all went on a field trip, like maybe the zoo or something.