‘And what did you do with the body?’
‘Got it out of there and buried it where Bobby told me.’
‘Which was?’
‘On a building site. There was a trench already dug, part of the foundations of the new supermarket they were building. His body is under the car park.’
‘Thanks for the information.’ I told him, and he just couldn’t help himself. He had to ask me.
‘Why ask about Alan Blake now, after so many years? What was he to you?’
‘I’m David Blake,’ I told him, ‘Alan Blake was my father.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
‘Won’t help you,’ I said, ‘I told you that already.’
42
The Reverend Michael Crowe must have given up a longer than usual prayer to his God when we left him sitting in the kitchen unharmed. I couldn’t see the point in killing the man. He might have admitted to the murder of my father, but he didn’t order it. The man who did that was already dead, killed by me years later, an irony I’d been wholly unaware of until now. When I left that church I walked up to the car and before I climbed in I leant against it and took a few deep breaths. I felt like something invisible was crushing me all of a sudden, robbing me of breath. I’d been getting feelings like this more and more lately. I didn’t need a doctor to work out they were some sort of stress-related panic attacks, but there was fuck all I could do about them. Who wouldn’t have panic attacks in my world?
‘You alright?’ asked Kinane.
‘Hunky fucking dory,’ I told him and climbed into the car.
‘This would have been a big deal once,’ I told Joe Kinane. We were looking down on the red brick, flat-roofed so-called supermarket, closed down now and awaiting redevelopment; which was code for ripping it all down and starting again from scratch. This building would have been the pride and joy of the supermarket chain’s family once, these days it was the embarrassing uncle. It had probably been opened by a local celebrity back in the seventies; a TV presenter or ‘comic’, now it waited for the bulldozers.
‘There’s a Tesco near us five times the size of this,’ said Kinane, confirming why it would soon be consigned to memory.
We walked across the car park and I couldn’t help wondering if we really were walking on my father’s grave. There was no real reason for Crowe to lie about that. When we reached the front door of the supermarket we stopped, because it was boarded up and we could go no further. I was wondering why I had even bothered to come down here. Myself, I didn’t want a gravestone or a shrine of any kind for Emma to feel guilty about if she didn’t come to visit me every week. They could burn me and scatter the ashes on the pitch at St James’ Park when nobody was looking. As I stood on my father’s final resting place, I felt nothing at all. Kinane looked troubled though.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ I asked.
Kinane looked at me, then he glanced back at the front of the supermarket. There, on the wall, was a faded wooden plaque with a metal plate on it. There was an inscription and I took a step forward so I could read it. I was right. The place had been opened by a northern comic but that wasn’t the bit that made my blood boil. There, under the comic’s name, was the date the place had been opened and it was four years before my father had finally disappeared.
‘Get back round to that lying bastard,’ I told Kinane, ‘and get Peter and Chris to go with you. I want you to give that Reverend a proper going over. The kind even his precious God would flinch to look at.’
I knew Kinane could handle the job of beating the truth from Michael Crowe without me and I didn’t want to waste any more time on this fool’s errand involving the fate of my father. There were things I had to put in order before the mad Russian oligarch realised I was going to be of no use to him. I wasn’t exactly drafting my last will and testament here but it certainly felt like it.
I caught up with Joanne in the park. Emma was in her pushchair chomping on a bright red ice lolly. I gave my little girl a kiss and she smiled but went back to slurping on her lolly. I asked Joanne to walk with me.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ I said. Joanne had her rough edges, but she’d always been straight with me, a friend to Sarah and great with Emma. I reached into my inside jacket pocket, took out an envelope and handed it to her. She stopped pushing the buggy. She looked shocked.
‘What’s this?’
‘It’s not your P45, if that’s what you’re thinking. You’ve been terrific with Emma and a big help to Sarah. This is just…’ I’d rehearsed this conversation in my mind but now I was a bit stuck for words. Joanne wasn’t a member of the firm, she was practically family… ‘look upon it as an insurance policy… in case our circumstances alter. If Sarah or me… and Emma obviously… if anything were to change. Say we had to move away or something like that.’
‘And you couldn’t take me with you?’
‘Precisely,’ I said. ‘Obviously we would want to but if we couldn’t.’ I was glad she was thinking in terms of moving house or country and not the very real prospect that her employer could wind up dead at any point. ‘I want you to have some security and it’s my way of saying thank you for helping Sarah when she’s not been feeling too great, you know.’
She nodded, ‘So what is it, like? A season ticket to the Wonga-Dome?’
‘The deeds to your flat.’
‘What?’
‘The apartment is yours, legally, you own it. It’s fully paid up. From now on you can decide if you want to keep it, sell it, move a bloke in with you, whatever.’
‘But I can’t…’
‘Yes you can,’ I told her and when she tried to give the envelope back to me, I took both her hands in mine and repeated, ‘yes… you… can… and I want you to. You’ll be doing me a favour. This is one less thing for me to worry about and, believe me, right now I need that.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Good.’ I kissed her on the cheek, waved to my daughter and said, ‘I’ll see you both at tea time. I’ve got a meeting.’ And I left Joanne standing there clutching her brown envelope.
Sharp was late for our meeting, very late, but I wanted him to be there, so I made everybody wait. When Joe Kinane walked in I took him away from the rest of the guys and into my office so I could speak to him privately.
‘We gave Crowe a proper beating like you told me,’ he explained, ‘he was loudly renouncing his God when we left him. I kid you not.’
‘And?’
‘He stuck to his story, never deviated from it once, told us over and over again that Alan Blake had stolen the proceeds from the wages robbery. Bobby had realised he was stalling on handing it over and he got suspicious. He thought Alan Blake might be planning to leave the country. Apparently he bought a car from Hunter and that was the final straw. Bobby sent Crowe round to retrieve the money and kill him. The Reverend reckons he knifed the man in his bed while he slept, then took his body down to the supermarket site and dug a hole in the foundations and dropped him in. We used to do that sort of thing back in the day, before we got the pig farm.’
‘And you are sure he wasn’t lying?’
‘About as sure as I can be,’ he told me.
‘But that doesn’t make any sense. My mother was in touch with him for years after…’ and I stopped then, because it suddenly hit me in a flash. I was an idiot, a complete fool and I needed to stop acting like one in front of Kinane. I could feel my face burning with the embarrassment of it and I had a sick feeling deep in my stomach. ‘Fuck him anyway,’ I said, in as dismissive a manner as I could manage, ‘it doesn’t matter. It was years ago and we’ll never know the real truth, so what do I care.’
‘Right,’ he replied and when I said no more he finally left me to it.
‘When Kinane had gone I sat down in my desk chair and stared out of the window. Considering I always prided myself on being the clever one, the guy who worked things out before anyone else, it had taken me a very long time to finally see what had been blindingly obvious for years. Reverend Crowe had been telling the truth; Alan Blake never left Newcastle for a job down south. He was killed back in 1972 and buried under that supermarket car park, which meant my mother had lied to me all of my life because, whoever Alan Blake was, he could never have been my father.