As we walk, I think of Peri.
How tiny she was, when she was born. The very first time when I held her in my arms. A memory resurfaces like a pang in my gut.
“You will keep her safe, Meadow. Guard her with your life.”
My father sits beside me on the floor of our houseboat. Peri is asleep on the yellowed mattress, her cheeks stained from tears.
“I will,” I say. “No matter what.”
“Good girl,” my father says.
He hasn’t said my mother’s name. It has been a week, and he hasn’t even acknowledged the fact that she is gone.
He hasn’t asked me if I’m okay.
Maybe he knows that I’m not. The question isn’t worth asking, when you already know the ugly truth.
“Is she really dead?” I ask.
My father stares out the window of the boat, watching the sun bleed into the sea.
“She’s never coming back,” he says. “Trust me.” He looks at Peri, the last child he had with my mother. “You are her mother now. Do you understand?”
I nod. A tear slips down my cheek, and my father reaches out, wipes it away.
“Never let her see you cry.”
Peri wakes up screaming.
I go to her, hold her close.
My father turns his back on us and puts his head in his hands.
There’s no sign of my little sister.
I feel as if I am back in the Shallows, the same day that I went after my mother. Only then, I knew she would appear. Now I can’t be sure of anything. We stop, drink from the stream.
Sketch gets a splitting headache.
Zephyr’s ears ring so loudly he can’t hear us.
I switch back and forth twice, three times.
Koi is carrying me when I notice we’re finally on a path, the ground trampled from hundreds of feet. My mind drifts back to the Shallows, the path in the Everglades that led me to discovering my mother’s secrets.
The path opens up into a larger, thicker part of the forest. The trees are taller here, fatter around, as if they are ancient. I wonder how tangled their roots must be.
“I haven’t come this far yet,” Koi says. “I’ve been taking care of . . .”
He stops.
And I know that he is talking about our father.
“He’s dying,” I whisper.
Koi takes a deep breath, his silver hair shining in the sunlight.
He scratches his arms, and more of his scabs peel away. “I don’t know for sure, Meadow,” he says. “The AntiCure comes in many forms. Sometimes, we think we’re going to lose a person. But then the nanites fight their way through the system, and they heal.” He leans against a tree. “He will heal. Just like you keep healing.”
“Koi,” I say. “It’s obvious that every time I switch, I get worse. Eventually, I’m going to die.”
It gets easier, every time I tell someone. They don’t believe me.
They won’t.
I share with him the secret from my mother, keeping my voice low, so that Zephyr and Sketch cannot hear. Koi is quiet the whole time, and when I am done, he simply nods.
My brother was never one to share many words. When he does speak, though, they are soft and honest.
Understanding, as always.
“We’ll find Peri,” he says. “Then we’ll get help. We’ll save you.”
The wind blows, pulling strands of my hair into my face. I turn away, my back to the wind, just as I see movement in the clearing.
“I think I see something,” I whisper.
“There isn’t a tribe here,” Koi says. “Shouldn’t be, at least.”
It happens so fast.
A spear whistles through the air and lands in his shoulder.
Blood spurts, and Koi cries out. He falls, and I tumble from his arms, into the ground. I crawl back to him, rip the spear away, close my hand over Koi’s mouth so he doesn’t scream.
“We have to run,” I say. I try to get to my feet, but I can’t. I’m too weak.
“Meadow!” I hear Zephyr’s voice in the trees, but I can’t see him. He’s too far away, and it’s getting dark already.
Another spear lands in the ground, close by.
“Get back to the cave!” Koi yells.
I see a flash of motion, twenty paces to the left. It’s Sketch yanking Zephyr along, back through the trees, even as he shouts my name and tries to fight her.
Koi helps me to my feet. Puts his good arm around my waist and starts hauling me after them.
A person steps in front of us, their body masked by leaves and sticks, the perfect camouflage. “Hand over your clothes!” she screams. A woman. She holds a bow, and when she shoots, Koi and I separate, and the arrow soars right between us.
The fear brings the switch back to me.
I’m strong in a flash.
I sprint for the woman, shove her against a tree. She yells and tries to fight me off, but I slam her head back. I can hear Koi fighting someone behind me, but I know he can handle himself.
I slam the woman’s head against the tree again and again, until there’s blood, and she goes slack. I let her slide to the ground.
“Come on!” Koi shouts from behind me.
He’s taken out a guy half his size. His shoulder is dripping blood.
“Only two?” I point at the dead woman’s cuff. Orange.
“No,” Koi says. “Never just two.”
Then there’s a shout, like the caw of a bird, and others pour from the darkness.
The chase is on. We run.
“Left!” Koi yells. I follow his command, leaping over the river as it comes into view.
Another spear whistles past, barely missing my head.
We duck beneath a cluster of low-hanging branches, roll to our feet, and start running all over again.
I dodge, weave, make myself a harder target to hit. Koi follows suit, and soon I take the lead, blindly running through the woods, trusting my instincts to guide us.
The ground slopes, cutting to a ravine so steep that I don’t have time to stop. Right as the switch hits. I stumble, and Koi knocks into my back.
My feet go out from under me.
Together, we fall. Trees rush at me in fast-forward. I can’t stop, can’t slow my falling.
My body slams against a tree trunk. My head cracks against something hard, but the Regulator saves me.
Koi isn’t so lucky. His shoulder is out of the socket, dangling like a half-broken stick.
Everything fades in and out of focus, but I grit my teeth, force myself to stay alert. I’m able to stumble to my feet, stagger over to Koi.
“No, no, just wait a second,” he says, as I reach for him. But I’m too weak to snap it back into place right now.
“It happened again, didn’t it?” he asks.
I nod and show him my cuff.
96.
“It’s happening more often,” I whisper. “I’m not going to make it out of here, even if we find Peri.”
“No,” he says. “Meadow, just . . . stop. Right now, we need to find shelter.”
We both look up. We’re in the middle of a deep ravine, a natural dip in the ground, with steep rocky walls all around us. We’ll have to climb our way out.
But how can we, with his shoulder? And with me, weakened again from the switch?