He couldn't do that. Pandora needed him to keep back the cold. Lord, he had felt as if he were bleeding inside when she murmured those poignant words. He was still bleeding. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He hadn't prayed since he was a child, but every breath he drew was a prayer now. Let her be well. Let him have the chance to keep his promise.
* * *
It was over two hours later when Madchen knocked, and then entered the library. Philip sat up straight. His shoulders were tense as he searched the doctor's face for any hint of expression. "Well?"
"There are no broken bones, as far as I can tell without an X ray." He nodded toward the cellarette. "May I have a drink?" he asked politely.
Philip made an impatient gesture. "Help yourself. What do you mean, as far as you can tell? Why didn't you take the X rays?"
"I thought it better not to, until I consulted you." Madchen was at the bar, pouring himself a small glass of white wine. "I wanted to determine your wishes in the matter."
"My wishes? What the hell do you mean? My 'wish' is to get your daughter well as quickly as possible. What the devil did you think I'd want?"
"There is no question that Pandora will be well in fairly short order." Madchen sipped the white wine with appreciation. "She has a very strong constitution. It's the child I'm wondering about. X rays would not be wise for the embryo."
Philip froze. "The child?"
"Pandora's approximately four weeks pregnant," Madchen said calmly. "She has had a bad fall. It will take extremely delicate handling to assure that the infant survives." He met Philip's eyes. "I wanted to be very sure that you wished me to take that care. After all, an illegitimate child can be very troublesome for a man in your position."
There was stunned silence in the room. "My God," Philip breathed incredulously. "She's your daughter."
Madchen shrugged. "An illegitimate child is often an inconvenience to the mother as well."
"You son of a bitch."
"There's no need to be abusive." Madchen straightened his horn-rimmed glasses. "I'm only looking out for your interests as my employer."
"What about her interests? You know damned well that Pandora would want that child." Philip could feel fury coursing through every vein. "You know that, damn your soul. Yet you're willing to take it from her while she's lying there helpless and unable to protect herself."
"I take it you want the child," Madchen said stolidly. "You had only to say so. Of course I'll make every effort to ensure a successful pregnancy."
"You're damn right, you will," Philip bit out. "You've cheated her out of affection all her life. You're not going to take this away from her too. You'll treat her as if a mere breath would shatter her." He rose to his feet, his hands clenched into fists. "And you'll be nice to her, or I'll tear you limb from limb."
Madchen blinked in surprise. "I've never been unkind to Pandora. I don't know what you mean."
Philip drew a deep breath and slowly unclenched his hands. It was obvious that Madchen was speaking the truth. He was an emotional cripple. Philip had to keep reminding himself of that, or he would end up strangling the man. "Just make sure that you don't hurt her," he said as he turned away wearily. "Perhaps it would be better if you saw as little of her as possible."
"As you like." Madchen set his wineglass down on the cellarette. "I would like to call your attention to one point, however. I wasn't the one who was responsible for Pandora being in that first-aid room tonight." He looked up. "And I think perhaps you were, Sheikh El Kabbar."
Philip could feel the blood draining from his face. He felt a million years old. "You're right," he said bitterly. "Between us, we've nearly destroyed her. We should be very proud of ourselves." His hand was trembling as he raised it to cover his eyes. "She's probably the most loving human being either one of us will ever encounter, and we've managed to rip her to pieces." His hand dropped to his side. "Well, it's up to us to put those pieces together again. I just hope to God she'll let us do it."
He sat down in his chair and picked up his brandy glass from the table. "Now, get back to Pandora and take care of her. If that baby dies, I'll break you, Madchen." He frowned. "Don't tell Pandora that she's pregnant. I'll do it myself. And for heaven's sake, if you can't say something kind to her, don't say anything at all."
Madchen moved ponderously toward the door. "Naturally I'll do everything I can. I told you that." He closed the door briskly behind him.
Philip leaned against the high back of the chair, his eyes staring blindly before him. A child. He had never thought about being a father. Yet there was no doubt he wanted Pandora's child. There was not a thing on God's green earth that he wouldn't cherish if it was loved and wanted by Pandora.
He wouldn't think of the pain or the difficulties to come. He wouldn't think of Madchen or of Pandora's white face when she had run out of the study earlier that evening. Instead, he would think of Pandora's child, even now growing in her womb. His child. He tested the idea and found it brought a sweeping rush of possessive joy. Yes, he would spend the time until he could go to Pandora thinking about their child.
Eight
Philip was lying naked beside her, his arm heavy and possessive around her and his alert gaze on her face. Pandora was naked, too, but she couldn't seem to remember how she got that way. Had they been making love?
"Philip . . .?"
"Shh ..." His lips touched hers in a quick, gentle kiss. "Go back to sleep. You need it. You're going to be as sore as hell in the morning."
"Why should I be ..." Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oedipus! Is he all right?"
His lips tightened. "Better than you are. He just went for a midnight run."
"I fell off," she murmured, attempting to remember. "I tried to stop him, he reared, and I fell." Her eyes flew to his face. "Have I done something stupid to myself?"
"You mean like breaking your back?" His eyes flashed in the dim lamplight. "No, but you damn well could have. You're only suffering from shock and bruises. Your father said you were to stay in bed and take it easy for the next week or so."
"My father's been here? I don't remember that." She laughed shakily. "Are you sure I didn't hit my head as well?"
"I'm sure. You've just been sleeping like the dead. Shock, Madchen said." He raised himself on his elbow and the sheet fell to his waist, revealing the soft mat of dark hair that roughened his chest. "Sleep is the best thing for you right now. Your father said that if you woke and had problems I should give you a light sedative."
"I don't want to go back to sleep. I'm wide awake now." Her eyes traveled around the room. "This is your suite. What am I doing here?"
"I wanted you in here. Madchen's assistant is on the premises, but I wasn't about to let you spend the night in the first-aid room." He smiled with such warmth, she felt a momentary dizziness that had nothing to do with her fall. "I decided, very selfishly, that I wouldn't be able to sleep without you tonight."