He had no answers, and Mirage offered no comfort. She was eager to be on her way. They were both exhausted from the ride. And Thorin was likely nearby, quite probably enjoying a meal and beer with Breck at the library. A thousand questions riddled Lukien’s mind, because he was afraid of facing Thorin and wondered what his old comrade Breck would think of him for trying to steal back the Devil’s Armour. It had surprised Lukien that Jazana Carr had remained mostly quiet through the winter. That much, at least, they had learned on the ride through Liiria. But he was sure that Breck had been glad to see Thorin and his amazing armour.
Mostly, though, Lukien was sad for himself. The memories of Cassandra and Akeela were powerful here. Here he had played and fought with Akeela the way brothers do, and later he had watched him rise to become king. They were good days, mostly, and Lukien missed them. Being in Lionkeep reminded him what a mess his life had become.
‘Lukien,’ said Mirage gently. ‘It’s getting darker.’
Lukien stopped his horse and looked around. They were in the middle of a wide-open courtyard overrun by weeds and neglect. The facade of Lionkeep’s front gate stood in the distance, barred and forbidden, but the ramparts and catwalks still towered freely overhead.
‘I was a boy here,’ he said, pointing up toward the catwalks. ‘I used to run along those with Akeela. Whenever his father saw us he’d shout for us to get down. He said we’d fall and break our necks.’
Mirage slowly trotted up beside him. Her face was curious suddenly. ‘The king was like your father, too,’ she said. ‘That’s what Thorin told me.’
‘He was a good man,’ sighed Lukien. ‘If he had lived Akeela would never have become king.’
‘They say Akeela was a good man once,’ Mirage reminded him.
‘Aye, but not every good man makes a good king.’
They rode on. Amid the ghosts and memories it was easy for Lukien to forget the darkness settling around them. He was mindful of their mission, of course, but something kept him in Lionkeep, the same indescribable feeling that had drawn him here rather than the library. He needed to see Lionkeep again. Instead of being driven from it, as he had been twice before, now at least he could linger. He could say a proper goodbye.
He didn’t expect Mirage to understand that, though, and was not surprised by her anxious manner. Mirage jumped at every strange sound. Unseen animals along the high walls scratched and sent rocks tumbling down, all the sounds that never got noticed when the place was filled with people.
‘Lukien, I’m tired and hungry,’ moaned Mirage as they continued across the yard. ‘We’re wasting time!’
‘It doesn’t matter now,’ he replied.
Another hour, even another day — neither would keep them from facing Thorin.
‘You just don’t want to see him,’ quipped Mirage. ‘You’re afraid.’
‘A little.’ Lukien rode on, not bothering to look at her. ‘You should be afraid, too.’
‘I’m not afraid of Thorin, Lukien. He loves me.’
Was that a jibe, Lukien wondered? Love had not been a topic between them since their night in Marn. Now that they had reached Koth, however, that would surely change — unlike Lukien’s feelings for Mirage.
He paused again and noticed a dark and empty field ahead. His eyes fixed on it horribly. Bent and tangled trees, looking dead from the long winter, struggled out of the gloom. The field went on for miles, stretching off into the countryside. Lukien took a deep breath, remembering the scent of apple blossoms.
‘What’s that?’ asked Mirage.
‘It was an orchard,’ Lukien replied. He smiled in secret pleasure.
Mirage shook her head. ‘Forget it. I’m not going in there.’ When Lukien didn’t reply, she took notice of his strange expression. ‘What are you thinking about?’
Lukien turned his horse around. ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Something you wouldn’t understand.’
The orchard held a memory he had never shared with anyone. It was there, lost among the apple trees, that he had first made love to Cassandra. Like children they had run off to be bad, but it had been so sweet that even the crushing aftermath of the act couldn’t dull its beautiful memory. As Lukien crossed back across the yard, he considered Cassandra and all she had meant to him. That was love, he realised.
‘Well, we’re here,’ he said crossly. He didn’t relish the duty, but knew the time had come. ‘After we find Thorin you’ll need to tell me what you want to do.’
Mirage became pensive. They had spoken very little of her plans, for she still held out hope that they could remain together. It seemed not to matter to her that she had failed to win his love during their journey. Her persistence irked Lukien.
‘It’s time for you to decide,’ he told her. ‘We’re going on to the library. You know what that means, don’t you?’
‘Let us speak to Thorin first,’ Mirage suggested. ‘He may not be eager to return with you, Lukien.’
‘It doesn’t matter. I want this thing between us settled. Will you stay in the library? Or will you return to Grimhold with me?’
Mirage refused to answer.
‘I don’t love you, girl!’
Her face cracked with emotion.
‘Don’t,’ he warned her. ‘You’ve manipulated me enough. I brought you here. I kept you safe. I did my part!’
She nodded hurriedly, catching her breath. ‘Yes, I know,’ she said. ‘But I have time yet, Lukien. You won’t be able to leave me. I know you won’t. I know you love me.’
‘I do not!’ Lukien stopped his horse roughly. ‘Why must you go on with this? Because I care for you? Because I was kind when you were scarred? That is not enough!’
‘It can be,’ Mirage said hopefully. ‘It can grow if you let it.’
Lukien shut his eyes in frustration. ‘I love another, Mirage. You are beautiful, I admit it. But I am cursed. I can love no other.’
When he opened his eyes she was looking at him. She was smiling, though she looked profoundly sad. ‘We belong together, Lukien. I love you, and I will not deny it or be afraid. I can help you if you’d let me.’
‘No,’ said Lukien. ‘It will never be that way.’
Mirage turned from him and started riding off. ‘When the time comes, you won’t leave me, Lukien.’
This time it was she who led the way, riding off toward the great library.
In less than an hour they had reached the hill. Mirage quickly fell back into her silent state, too anxious and awed to speak. Where Lionkeep was desolate, the soaring library and its surroundings teemed with activity, and no one seemed to notice the two meagre-looking strangers straggling up the hill with a donkey. Though the argument with Mirage had soured Lukien’s mood, he brightened immediately when they reached Library Hill, happy to see it vital again, albeit drastically changed. The Cathedral of Knowledge no longer was a place of learning. Instead Breck and his Royal Chargers — who were everywhere — had transformed the structure into a fortress. Even before the full library came into view, Lukien could see the transformation. Breck had done an admirable job, better than he had imagined. Heartened, he rode on with a new sense of optimism.
As they crested the hill they came at last to the main yard of the library. Though the sun had set, the yard was still alive with activity. Huge braziers had been set up on the ground, allowing the men, women, and even children to work by their warm light. Folks who were clearly from the surrounding villages hammered at weapons or groomed horses or fed livestock, all preparing for the coming war with Jazana Carr. Children ran through the yard, yelling excitedly as they played under the watchful gaze of older siblings, most of whom worked at some tedious yet enormously necessary task. Amid the activity soldiers rode horses and practised swordplay, most in the uniforms of Royal Chargers. None, however, took any notice of Lukien or Mirage.