‘White-Eye can’t see again, not ever. Is that true?’
Minikin ignored his question, the way she always did when he was so direct. ‘Do you know this place?’ she asked, her voice melancholy. ‘I didn’t know it until Meriel showed it to me.’
Trog frowned at her.
‘Of course, how could I forget? Mirage, I mean.’ Minikin sighed. ‘I feel as though I have failed both of them, my daughters. One because I would not let her go, the other because I was too busy pitying myself to save her.’ She sat herself down near the edge of the ledge, letting her tiny feet dangle in the air. Next to her she placed the bag of biscuits. ‘Mirage would come up here to think of ways to escape this place,’ she said. ‘I’ve never wanted to leave, and neither did White-Eye. This is her home, you see.’
‘Minikin, you are not yourself,’ said Gilwyn. He went to her, crouching down beside her. Trog hovered over them both, not getting too near the ledge. ‘You have not been yourself since the battle.’
‘My mind is dull, Gilwyn,’ replied Minikin. ‘I’m old. Just a few years ago I would never have made such a mistake. I would have felt Kahldris moving in our midst. But I didn’t.’
‘So you blame yourself for what happened to White-Eye? Don’t. It was me Kahldris was after — you told me so yourself.’
Minikin turned to look at him. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m talking about White-Eye never being able to see again. That’s what she told me, Minikin. She said that she can’t have another Akari, not ever. Why?’
‘It is the way of things, Gilwyn. The Akari bond is a tenuous thing, like an organ of the body, or an appendage. White-Eye’s bond was severed. She cannot have another.’
‘But Meriel got another,’ Gilwyn argued. ‘I don’t see why White-Eye can’t.’
‘If you lost an arm, would it grow back? No, it would not. But if you held out your arm to take someone’s hand, you could do so easily. Or you could release that hand at will. Do you see? It is as if White-Eye lost her arm — she can no longer take the hand of an Akari.’
‘And Faralok? What about him? He’s still. . alive, isn’t he?’
‘Faralok has gone back to the place of the dead. Remember what Ruana told you, Gilwyn — there is the place of the dead and there is our world. The Akari may breach that boundary with the help of a host. Without a host. .’
Gilwyn nodded dully. ‘I think I understand,’ he said. ‘So then that’s it for her. White-Eye won’t be able to see again.’
‘No,’ said Minikin sadly. ‘She will not.’
They both fell silent, considering the enormity of their words. Minikin gazed out over the mountains. Gilwyn mustered his courage.
‘So it’s my fault,’ he said.
‘It is not your fault. Nor is it mine, to be truthful. It is the fault of the beast Kahldris.’
‘Aye, Kahldris,’ Gilwyn agreed. ‘So he must be stopped.’
‘That is what we hope. Lukien will do his best, I’m sure.’ Minikin regarded him strangely. ‘Unless of course you’ve come to tell me something else, Gilwyn.’
There was never any hiding from her, Gilwyn knew. She had already guessed why he’d come.
‘Minikin, I have to go,’ he implored. ‘This thing that happened — it would never have if not for me. I don’t know what’s happened to Lukien. Maybe he’s failed. Maybe he’s dead. .’
‘He is not dead,’ said Minikin. ‘If he were, I would have felt it.’
‘So what’s happened to him? Why won’t Lariniza tell you?’
‘She cannot tell me everything, Gilwyn, because it is not my place to know everything. She tells me that Lukien is alive; that I know for certain.’
‘That’s not good enough! I can’t have White-Eye in this danger. I love her, Minikin.’
‘So do I,’ said Minikin sharply. ‘Do you forget that?’
‘No, of course not. But someone has to protect her. You can’t do it, obviously!’
As soon as he’d said the words, he regretted them. The hurt on Minikin’s face was a dagger in him.
‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘I had no right to say that. I’m just. .’ He looked down at his feet. ‘Minikin, I’m sorry.’
Minikin put a hand on his leg. ‘Gilwyn, if you go, what will you do? Confront Kahldris yourself? Because that is what you will be doing. You will not be facing the Baron Glass you know. By now he has certainly changed.’
‘Thorin is my friend, Minikin. He cares about me; he always did. He’ll listen to me.’
‘Will he? It is naive to think so. Lukien is his friend too, remember. And he loved Mirage. Yet Kahldris still controls him.’
‘Does that mean I shouldn’t try?’ asked Gilwyn. ‘I think I can reach him. I have to try, for White-Eye’s sake as well as Thorin’s.’
Minikin’s face dropped with sadness. ‘And what will happen to Jador? You are regent, Gilwyn. White-Eye depends on you.’
‘I know,’ said Gilwyn. He had already considered the argument. ‘But Jador still has you, Minikin. And we’ve defeated Prince Aztar; he won’t trouble us any more.’
‘You are sure of that?’ said Minikin wryly.
‘After the whipping he took? I don’t even think he’s still alive.’ Gilwyn took her hand. ‘Besides, what can I do for Jador that you can’t? The city doesn’t need me, but Thorin does. And I can’t risk Kahldris attacking White-Eye again. If anything else happened to her, I couldn’t live with myself. I have to try and help Thorin. Don’t you see, Minikin? I have to.’
Minikin looked away. Gilwyn could not recall a time when she had looked so defeated.
‘Jador has many problems,’ she said, ‘and I am not strong enough to deal with them all, not any more. You were a hope for us all, Gilwyn. If you go, I do not know what will happen.’
‘You’re plenty strong,’ Gilwyn assured her. ‘Jador will go on. And I won’t be gone forever. As soon as I’ve helped Thorin, I’ll be back. I promise.’
His words made Minikin smile. ‘You are so young, child, so sure of yourself. You just can’t see the danger, can you? Listen to me — if you leave this place, there is every chance we will not see each other again.’
‘Because you think I won’t return?’
‘Because I think you will be dead.’ Minikin let her hand slip off his leg. ‘Death is not something I would ever wish on someone so young, but death comes to the young because they think it will never come to them.’
‘It won’t happen to me,’ said Gilwyn. ‘I’ll stay out of danger. I’m not going to fight Thorin — I’m just going to talk to him, make him listen to reason.’
‘You will be talking to Kahldris, and you cannot reason with a devil,’ said Minikin. ‘That is why Lukien must do this thing. Whether he realises it or not, he will have to fight Baron Glass. He is prepared for that fight, Gilwyn, not you.’ The mistress spread her hands. ‘But I cannot stop you. I know that.’ She smiled at him. ‘You have made up your mind.’
Gilwyn nodded. ‘Yes, Minikin, I have. I’m sorry.’
‘So am I,’ said Minikin sweetly. She touched his face. ‘You are becoming a man, Gilwyn. A very fine one. Men cannot be told what to do. They must follow their hearts.’
Her sentiment disarmed Gilwyn. Emotion rose in his throat. ‘I’ll be leaving Teku and Emerald behind,’ he said, nearly choking on the words. ‘They’ll be safer here in Grimhold.’
‘You’ll go alone?’ asked Minikin.
‘Yes. Everyone else is needed here or in Jador.’
Minikin nodded, though it was plain she disapproved. ‘Have you told White-Eye about this yet?’
‘No,’ said Gilwyn, dreading the task. ‘Not yet. But I will, soon.’
‘And when will you leave?’
‘In a few days,’ replied Gilwyn. He sat back on his heels, thinking. ‘There’s something I need to do first.’
47
In the week since Baron Glass had gone, the library fell into a time of quiet waiting. Though spring had arrived, there was no sense of celebration among the many who called the library home, and though the children were happy to play in the yards around the hill, the soldiers that manned the transformed fortress had slackened in their haste to build defences. The air of the place — which had once been hopeful — had become muddied by the frightening idea that Baron Glass might never return at all. Breck spent less time in planning meetings or inspecting his troops. The entire library was less busy in general.