‘Not hungry?’
The voice made Van jump. He turned to see Breck standing at his side. ‘What?’
‘You didn’t come for breakfast, nor for midday meal,’ commented the old soldier. ‘I’ve been wondering where you’ve been all day.’
‘I’m sorry,’ faltered Van. ‘I was. . looking around.’
Breck’s frown was searching. ‘Oh?’
‘Yes, well, exploring the library,’ Van explained. ‘I was curious about it. I never came here when I lived in Koth, not even as a boy.’
‘And did you find what you were looking for?’
The question embarrassed Van. He stood up straight. ‘Yes, sir, I think so.’
To Van’s relief Breck finally looked away, turning his attention to the tapestry. ‘You noticed “The Scholars”, I see.’
‘The Scholars,’ Van echoed. He smiled. ‘That’s what it’s called?’
‘That’s what we call it,’ said Van. ‘If it has a proper name, I don’t know it. It was here when we took over the library. I was just as struck by it as you seem to be. I thought it would be best to leave it.’
Van nodded. It seemed that way to him, too. ‘Sir, may I ask you a question?’
‘If it doesn’t take too long,’ said Breck. ‘I’m on my way to supper and I’m starved.’
‘No, well, if it’s not a good time. .’
‘I’m joking, lieutenant. Ask your question.’
‘All right.’ Van thought for a moment. ‘I’ve been wondering something for a long time now, about you and everyone else here. And now that I’m here with you I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m wondering — why are you here?’
The question vexed Breck. ‘I don’t think I understand what you mean. Why am I here? You mean at the library?’
‘Yes, the library,’ said Van. ‘That’s it exactly. Forgive me, but you’re not a young man. You don’t have to be here, risking your life this way, risking your family. I mean. .’ Van shrugged. ‘Why?’
‘I’m here to defend Koth,’ said Breck, ‘just like you. But you know that already. That’s not what you’re asking.’ The soldier grinned as though he knew a secret. ‘You’re a searcher, Vanlandinghale. Always looking for answers. I’ll answer your question in a moment, but first I have a question for you.’
‘Oh?’ Van braced himself.
‘You and King Lorn,’ said Breck. ‘When you first came here you looked like friends. I know you didn’t realise who he really was, but you did talk. You shared things, I’m sure.’
‘Yes,’ said Van cautiously. ‘So?’
‘So I’m wondering why you didn’t tell him anything about Jador.’
Van froze, staring at Breck. ‘I told him enough. I told him that we disgraced ourselves.’
‘But you didn’t tell him anything about Grimhold,’ said Breck. His expression was cool, unreadable. ‘Or about the magic.’
‘No.’
‘Not even when you realised his daughter was deaf and blind.’
Van shifted a little under Breck’s gaze. ‘I didn’t mention any of it because I didn’t want to talk about it. It’s my business.’
‘I’m not accusing you, boy, I just want you to know something. I spoke to Lorn this morning. Spent a good two hours with him, going over plans and such, getting his opinions about Jazana Carr and her strength. But at the end of our meeting he surprised me. He said that he’d been talking to some of the townsfolk here in the library. They told him about Grimhold. They told him how his daughter might be healed there. He asked me if the stories were true.’
Van grimaced at the news. ‘What did you tell him?’
‘I told him what I knew,’ said Breck. ‘I told him that I didn’t know for certain, but that many who returned from Jador spoke of this magic as real. As far as I know it exists.’ Breck gestured to the people still milling past them. ‘That’s what all these people believe, lieutenant. Haven’t you noticed how many of these folks have trouble walking and seeing? Many of them are planning to cross the Desert of Tears and go to Jador. They want to find Grimhold and be healed. They call it Mount Believer. And now your friend Lorn wants to go with them.’
Van nodded but the news didn’t surprise him. He had always supposed the Norvan would hear the truth eventually.
‘I suppose I should have told him,’ he admitted. ‘But it was my business and he knows that. He has no right to be angry with me.’
‘Not angry,’ said Breck. ‘Bewildered. I think maybe the rumours of his wickedness are ill-founded. He loves his child, anyone can see that. Now he has a decision to make.’
‘He loves Norvor,’ corrected Van. ‘That’s what’s important to him, not his daughter. He won’t leave for Jador, not while there’s a chance of him winning back his throne.’
‘You may be right,’ Breck admitted. ‘He still has time to make up his mind. I was just wondering why you thought it best to keep the truth from him.’
‘I wasn’t being deceptive, sir. I neglected to tell him everything, true. But he found out on his own, and that’s good enough.’ Then Van had another thought. ‘What if he decides to go to Jador with the others? Will you let him?’
‘He’s not a prisoner here. I can’t make him stay, and he’s already told me a great deal about Jazana Carr. If he wants to leave he’ll have my best wishes.’
The idea disturbed Van. ‘What I said about Lorn not loving his daughter is a lie. I had no right to say that. I’ve seen him with her; I know he cares for her.’ He looked away, wishing he had told Lorn the truth from the start. Whatever he had done as king was not the child’s fault. ‘I guess we didn’t trust each other. If he goes, I’ll miss him.’
‘The past is an odd thing,’ said Breck. ‘Wherever a man goes, his past follows like a phantom.’ His expression grew serious. ‘That’s something you have to learn, lieutenant. Your past follows you just like Lorn’s chases him. Whatever you did in Jador is over. But you have to know that.’
‘Over.’ Van considered the word. It was such a tidy term for the filthy things he’d done. ‘I understand what you’re saying, sir.’
Breck watched him for a long moment, as though he didn’t truly believe the young man. ‘Good,’ he said finally. ‘I hope so.’
It seemed impossible to shake Breck’s calm. He glanced back at the tapestry. ‘You asked me why I’m here,’ he said. ‘Let me try to explain it to you. Look at the tapestry, lieutenant.’
Van studied the wall art. It was very beautiful and calming.
‘Someday this war will be over,’ Breck continued. ‘Someday, when all the warlords are gone and Jazana Carr with them, Liiria will have peace again. When that day comes, the world is going to need the library.’
A faint smile crossed Breck’s weary face. Suddenly, Van knew he had his answer.
Together they were silent, studying the artwork and its scholarly men. The noise of the hall faded around them.
‘I became a Royal Charger because it seemed the best work a man could do,’ Van said suddenly.
What might have been a smile cracked Breck’s face. ‘It’s time for supper.’ He turned away from the scholars and their curious faces. ‘I expect my officers to dine with me every night.’ He strode past Van, then paused when he noticed he wasn’t being followed. ‘Come along, Vanlandinghale.’
Happy for the invitation, Van did not hesitate.
16
When he was a very young man, Baron Reynard Ravel’s father had given him a useless bit of wisdom. In a dusty field of their barren farm, his eyes weary from years of struggle, the older Ravel told his son that a man can’t have everything, and that he should not expect too much in life.
It had been easy for Ravel’s father to make such a statement, a convenient excuse to pardon his many failures. To Reynard, who had grown up poor but who had quickly made a fortune importing tea and spices, his father’s advice now seemed quaint, and not at all applicable to the grand life he had built. It was the only thing his father had given him. It was, sadly, a useless inheritance.