‘Thank you, Minikin,’ she cried. ‘Thank you!’
‘Wait,’ said Minikin. ‘There is one thing else. If I do this thing for you — and there is no certainty that Amaraz will allow it — then you must do something for me in return.’
‘Tell me what it is,’ said Meriel. ‘Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.’
Minikin’s face grew rigid. ‘You wish to change your appearance and be normal again, but you will not truly be normal. No Akari can heal your skin or give you back your true appearance. It will be an illusion, Meriel, unreal.’
‘I know,’ said Meriel. ‘But it will appear that way to everyone, yes?’
‘Yes, that is how it should be.’
‘Then I will do it gladly!’
‘That is not what I’m asking. Not only must you understand this illusion, you must do something to prove that you understand it. Something that will keep you from forgetting we of Grimhold and where your magic truly comes from.’
Meriel grew wary suddenly. ‘What would you have me do?’
‘You will take on an Inhuman name. Finally.’
‘What? But why?’
‘This is not a request, Meriel. This is not some favour I ask of you. If you choose to abandon Sarlvarian for another Akari and go through the world with a mask, I insist that you understand what you’re doing. I do not approve of it at all. Grimhold was founded against the fallacy of beauty. You have chosen to ignore that principle. And so you must take on a name that reminds you of us, and the masquerade you live.’
‘What name?’ asked Meriel dreadfully.
Minikin replied, ‘You will call yourself Mirage.’
Mirage. Meriel thought about the word while staring at Minikin. Why was she doing this to her?
‘Mirage,’ she echoed. ‘I’m to call myself that always?’
‘Always,’ Minikin insisted. ‘To do otherwise will break the magic of the Akari. You will be what you are now again, but without the gifts that Sarlvarian has given you. And be aware of this, too — if you do this thing, you will no longer have your fire gift. No more controlling flames with your mind, and no more controlling the pain of your scars.’ The elvish woman looked at Meriel uncertainly. ‘Now, are you sure this is what you want?’
‘I’m sure,’ said Meriel with defiance. ‘Mirage is what I will call myself. After all, it’s just a name. And I can deal with the pain. It will be nothing compared to looking at my ugly face.’ She smiled. ‘I’m ready.’
Minikin was circumspect. ‘You will have time to think on it.’
‘I don’t need time. I want to do this right away.’
‘That may be so, but I need time to discuss this with Amaraz and convince him of the rightness of it. That will not be easy, child. He may refuse me.’
Meriel nodded. ‘I know you’ll try, Minikin. Thank you.’
The Mistress of Grimhold smiled again. Despite what had been said, there was real love in her expression. ‘There are times when no amount of talk will convince a girl to change her mind. This is one of those times, I think.’ She leaned back on her elbow, making herself comfortable. ‘Now, tell me about the way you looked before the burning. .’
Two days later, Meriel found herself in the cave of spirits.
It had been three years since she had last been in the cave, when she had arrived in Grimhold and Minikin had taken her down into the depths below the fortress. It was when she had first been given Sarlvarian, when she had first been made an Inhuman and joined the ranks of those lucky few with an Akari. Then, Meriel had been younger but she was no less wide-eyed now. No other Inhuman had seen the cave of spirits twice, save for Minikin, for this was the place where adult Inhumans were born. They were not kissed as Gilwyn Toms was as an infant or given an Akari to look over them without their knowledge. Like Ghost and a handful of others, Meriel had been fully aware of the great gift being bestowed on her. Now, as she reacquainted herself with the fabulous cavern, she listened as the stalactites dripped cool water from an impossibly high ceiling. There was no fire or lantern light in the cave. Instead the place was lit by a dazzling array of gemstone clusters, cracked and fiery rocks that twinkled with unnatural light and made the chamber glow blue and purple. Every step Meriel took echoed through the endless tunnels. Up ahead, Minikin walked in silence.
The mistress had not explained the past few days to Meriel. Instead, she had merely told the girl that Amaraz had granted her request. Had it been a battle to convince the great Akari? Meriel didn’t know and Minikin wasn’t talking. The little woman wore a shroud of mystery as she led Meriel deeper into the effusive cave. Cool air wafted down from some unseen source, coiling through the rock formations to touch Meriel’s face. She had taken down her cloak and let the breeze caress her. As she skirted over the jagged ground she saw a pool up ahead. More like a vast, unmoving lake, the placid basin of crystal water reflected the darts of gem-light throughout the cave. Minikin finally came to a stop near the pool. She dipped her tiny hand into the unmoving water but caused no ripple at all. As she pulled free her hand the water closed around her fingers and was still. Minikin touched her dampened hand to the amulet around her neck. She closed her eyes and was silent for a time while the red gem in the amulet pulsed, humming as if speaking to her. Meriel didn’t know much about the amulet or its powerful Akari, but it struck her now how similar the gold-encrusted gem was to the stones twinkling in the cavern.
The cave of spirits worked its peculiar glamour on Meriel. They were far below Grimhold now, in a secret place. None who were taken here could ever remember how to return, and to Meriel’s knowledge none had ever tried. It was just one of hundreds of chambers below Grimhold, an offshoot of miles of stone corridors. But it was a holy place to the Inhumans and to Minikin in particular, who continued to commune with her own Akari while Meriel prepared her mind for the coming separation.
She would miss Sarlvarian dearly. She wondered what pain his leaving would bring. He had tirelessly protected her from her searing scars, wounds that had driven her to madness before his magic touch had soothed her. Now she had inflicted another wound upon herself, this one of guilt. She closed her eyes for a moment and begged Sarlvarian to forgive her.
And for a moment her old Akari appeared in her mind. This same thing had happened so infrequently in the past that it startled Meriel now. Sarlvarian’s handsome face held no emotion. She hoped to see a glimmer of forgiveness but found none in his peculiar eyes. He merely watched her from his far-off world of the dead, as if saying some kind of joyless goodbye. Then he quickly vanished, leaving Meriel groping and alone. She opened her eyes at once. The air around her seemed heavier. Her breathing grew laboured. The skin on her face and hands begin to tingle.
‘Minikin,’ she said with alarm. ‘Sarlvarian. . he’s left me.’
‘Yes,’ said Minikin. At last she opened her eyes. In her right hand she held tight the amulet. She reached out her left hand for Meriel. ‘He’s gone. Hold on now. .’
Meriel took Minikin’s hand. Around her the cavern began to swim. She felt hot, felt burning from her old wounds and the swooning rush of Sarlvarian’s departure.
‘What’s happening? Minikin, it hurts. .’
‘It’s the separation,’ said Minikin. ‘I warned you.’
She had indeed warned her, but Meriel hadn’t expected the pain to be so intense. Because she hadn’t felt it in years it assaulted her now. Minikin held her hand, keeping her steady until the worst of it was over. Finally Meriel got control of it. Like in the days before Sarlvarian, she forced her mind to master the pain.
‘I’m all right,’ she said. ‘All right. .’
‘Can you walk?’
Meriel nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘Then walk to the other side of the pool,’ said Minikin, and let go of her hand.
Meriel looked at her. ‘What for?’
‘Because, child, you will find your new Akari there.’
Astonished, Meriel glanced toward the other end of the crystal pool. She saw nothing there, just peaceful water bordered by a gemstone wall. Yet the very thought of seeing her new Akari made the pain flee from her skin.