He finished the wine in a long gulp, then belched. ‘How does it feel, knowing your suffering is secondary, that your torment isn’t even your own?’ He watched her keenly, awaiting her reaction.
‘I know you bargained with Old Tom,’ she spat, overcome by her loathing. ‘I know you summoned it.’
Something stirred behind his eyes. It wasn’t shock, or anger. It wasn’t sadness, or surprise.
It was pride.
‘I was the fourth son of a beleaguered family headed inevitably to ruin by my father’s incompetence,’ he said. ‘God laid no grand plans for my future, so I wrote them myself with the devil that was to hand. You’ll not shame me, Sara. And you’ll find no regret. When The Folly is delivered, I will be scribed into history, while you – unremarkable and dull – will be forgotten.’
He waved her away.
‘Now go. I have no further need of you.’
38
In the narrow confines of his berth, Arent wriggled into his old army uniform, his arms and legs shooting through the curtains. The breeches were tight around his waist and his faded green doublet was proving difficult to fasten.
He was dismayed, though not surprised.
For all the chasing after people he did, it was a softer life he lived now. He ate rich food and drank fine wine, going whole weeks without strain. It wasn’t so in the army, where they’d marched or fought almost every day. And when there wasn’t an enemy, they’d fought themselves. It had been miserable and uncomfortable and some days he didn’t miss it at all.
Finally managing to button the doublet, he tucked the frayed hem of his shirt into his breeches, then examined it for stains, finding a few drops of dry blood near the neck.
It would have to do. Tatty as it was, this uniform remained the finest suit of clothes in his possession and the only one fit for dinner. His uncle had bought it for him, along with his commission. For all his myriad faults, Jan Haan had been the only one who’d understood why Arent wanted to leave his grandfather’s home. He was the only one who hadn’t shouted or forbidden. The only one who’d looked into Arent’s eyes and seen the fear lurking underneath. Loyalty had compelled him to try talking his nephew out of it, but when it was clear he couldn’t be dissuaded, he’d done everything he could to set him solidly upon his new path.
Once again, Arent felt that pang for the man he’d known, and the sharp shock of remembering who he’d become. Arent couldn’t bring himself to believe in demons, but he understood the temptation. It would be a comfort to have something to blame, something he could banish, and have his uncle – the one who’d raised him – miraculously returned.
Arent rubbed his scar. His uncle claimed the assassin had given it to him, but why? And who else knew about it? Whoever it was who knew about his past had put the Mark of Old Tom on the sail. They had enlisted Bosey for some purpose aboard the ship. They’d dressed him in leper’s rags and placed him on those crates to deliver a warning.
That took power and planning and organisation, which seemed a lot of effort to waste on a lowly mercenary.
Straightening his jacket, Arent made his way through the empty helm towards the great cabin. Drinks were being served by surly stewards, the passengers and officers mixing like warm and cold water in a bathtub, so that patches of jocularity sat next to awkward pauses, strained conversations stretching towards inevitable silences.
Sander and Isabel were speaking with Lia and Sara. There was a glassiness to Sara’s eyes that suggested recent tears. She saw him at the threshold and offered him an inviting smile.
Arent felt his heart swell.
Vos stalked into view. He was staring at something on the far side of the cabin, his face twisted by misery. Arent followed his gaze, realising it was Creesjie under observation. Of them all, she was the only one who appeared to be having fun. She was standing within gossip’s distance of Captain Crauwels, and Arent would have been hard pressed to decide who was better dressed. Creesjie was wearing a damask silk gown, inlaid with beads, lace flowing over her chest as blonde hair spilled down her back. Crauwels wore a leather jerkin and a silk shirt beneath. A burst of feathers hemmed his orange breeches and matching cape.
Creesjie laughed, flashing her fine teeth, then tugged playfully at the captain’s sash. ‘Tell me, Captain, what are you truly: an uncouth merchant captain or a gentleman?’
‘Can’t I be both?’
‘Impossible,’ she said, tossing her hair. ‘One creates wealth and so cares only for its acquisition and preservation. The other spends wealth and cares not how it arrived, only that it keeps doing so. They’re incompatible pursuits, and yet here you are.’
He puffed out his chest in pride. It was a fine thing to be complimented by Creesjie Jens.
‘Now, Captain, tell me, how did you come to be such a fascinating contradiction?’
Crauwels didn’t see it, Arent was certain. He was so charmed, he didn’t notice how directly she was digging. Hard questions were best wrapped in soft words, Sammy had once told him. Sammy was a master, but Creesjie was even better.
He wondered what she was after.
‘I’ll tell you, Mistress Jens, for I think you’ll enjoy the story,’ he said, leaning daringly close to her. ‘My family were nobles once, until my grandfather – curse his soul – squandered our wealth. Growing up, there were traces of our former glory all around us. Mama kept pieces of furniture in rooms much too small to house them. She carried the manners of the class we’d departed, and could occasionally call on a connection not yet wrung dry, or an old debt still to be called in. That’s how I got my commission as a captain in the fleet. It was the last favour of a former family friend who wanted nothing more to do with those who could offer nothing back.’
Creesjie covered her mouth with her hand in astonishment.
‘As it turned out, I’m a natural seaman,’ he bragged, enjoying her reaction. ‘There isn’t anyone better at navigating or reading the sea and sky; you can ask any of my crew. I won’t let anybody else touch a map on the Saardam, for fear they’ll steer us wrong. Even so, these skills seem a poor trade for everything lost, and so I cling to what I can. My manners, my dress, my education. I hold them close, so that when I finally rebuild my family’s fortune, I’ll be able to resume the life I lost.’
Creesjie gave him a look of such overwhelming promise that Arent looked away, for fear of intruding. ‘You’re a remarkable man, my captain,’ she said. ‘And, pray, how will you rebuild this fortune – and, if I may ask, will it be soon?’
Crauwels lowered his voice. ‘Soon enough, I feel. There are always opportunities on a ship like this.’ He glanced meaningfully at the governor general’s cabin.
Valiantly though Creesjie tried she could get no more out of him, and their conversation drifted into empty wit.
Realising it was time to step through the doorway, Arent took a fortifying breath.
‘I did the same,’ said a drunken voice behind him.
Arent turned around to find Reynier van Schooten slumped in the corner of the helm, his legs splayed out before him, a bottle nestled by his crotch. Some attempt had been made to dress for dinner, but it had gone awry. After spilling wine on his shirt, he’d clearly pulled on a doublet to cover it, but he’d put the buttons through the wrong loops. Bows trailed by his ankles and his hose were piss-stained. About him hung the smell of alcohol and sweat, long nights and regret.
‘What happened to you?’ asked Arent.
‘I made a mistake,’ he said, swallowing. There was something desperate about him. Something terrible and sad. ‘I wanted to be like them so badly.’