We found a simple blue silk.
“Just your colour,” she said. The under gown was a gauze dotted with gold and silver knots which gave it a starry look. It was low cut and diaphanous.
“It never suited me,” declared Margot. T fancy that with a little refurbishing it could just get by. It’ll be a little simple for a ball dress. Let’s call in Annette and see what she can do. “
Annette came in, studied me in the dress and knelt on the floor, her mouth full of pins. She shook her head.
“Too large in the waist, too short in the length …” was her verdict.
“You can do it, Annette. You can do it,” cried Margot, clasping her hands together.
Annette shook her head.
“I do not think it is possible.”
“Annette-Pas-Possible!” shouted Margot.
“That’s what we always called her. She always says it’s not possible and goes on to make it gloriously possible.”
“But this. Mademoiselle …” Annette’s face was full of woe.
Take it off the shoulders, Annette,” commanded Margot.
“Mademoiselle Maddox has good shoulders … they slope nicely. So feminine. We must show them. And can you get some more of this starry stuff? We could do with yards and yards more of that.”
T do not think that would be possible,” said Annette.
“Nonsense. I’ll swear you have some of the very stuff tucked away somewhere. You know you always kept the remnants.”
And so it went on, with Annette growing more and more lugubrious and Margot more certain that the dress would be a success.
And it was. I was amazed when it was ready a froth of gauze and blue silk, expertly pressed and adorned with delicate lace. I had a ball dress, and if it was proved-which I knew it would be-very simple in comparison with others, at least it was adequate and would enable me to go to the ball at very little cost to my purse and none to my pride.
The ball was to be held in the ancient hall and the Comte would receive his guests at the top of the great marble staircase. It would be grand even by castle standards, as it was to announce and celebrate the betrothal of his daughter.
I was sorry for Margot. The idea of being presented with a man for the first time and told: “This is your future husband!” If this was the way of aristocrats, I was glad I was not one of them.
The day before that of the ball there was a disturbance in the night.
It must have been early morning when I heard voices on the stairs. I opened my door and looked out.
The noise was coming from the Comtesse’s apartments. I heard the Comte’s voice, rather weary, I thought: “My dear Nou-Nou, we have had this before. You know it is only her nerves.”
“Not so. Monsieur Ie Comte. Not so. She has been in pain. I soothed her with a draught, but it cannot last. This is real pain and I want the doctors to see her.”
“You know you have only to send for them.”
“Then I shall do so without delay.”
“Nou-Nou, you upset yourself unnecessarily. You know you do. And to awaken me at this hour …”
“I know my girl. If others upset themselves a little more now and then it might be better.”
There is no reason why the entire household should share in this crise de nerfs. “
“It is more than that.”
“Now, Nou-Nou. You know that my daughter’s ball takes place the day after tomorrow. So does her mother. She wants to call attention to herself.”
“You are a hard man. Monsieur Ie Comte.”
‘hi the circumstances I have to be. If you showed a little more firmness on these occasions perhaps there would not be the need for them. “
“I shall send for the doctors, then.”
“Do so by all means.”
I realized that I was eavesdropping and went back into my room somewhat ashamed.
Poor Comtesse! She was neglected and sad and perhaps sought to call attention to herself through her delicate constitution. She was using the wrong tactics if she hoped to attract her husband. She should show some spirit . as I had done.
I pulled myself up sharply. What was I thinking? I was being drawn more and more into the affairs of this household. With a man such as the Comte who had married a
f woman such as the Comtesse that could be an alarming involvement.
I knew this and yet I was allowing myself to be ,i more and more caught up in their lives. I saw the doctors arrive that day. Nou-Nou was waiting for j them and took them immediately to her mistress. The Comte was not in the castle but they waited to see him. ‘
Margot and I spent the evening together. She was less exuberant now that the excitement of the dress was over.
“I wonder what Robert will be like,” she kept saying. “It seems strange that you have never seen him.”
“I think I may have done when we were children. His family’s estates are north of Paris. I believe he visited us when we were in Paris once. He was a horrible boy who ate all the gateau and then took the piece of cream I was saving until the last.”
“Not a very auspicious beginning to a lifetime’s union,” I said, but added: “People change as they grow up. The most awful children become the most charming.”
“He’ll be fat with spots, I know.”
“It’s not a bad idea to build up an unpleasant picture. Then you’ll be agreeably surprised.”
She was laughing again.
“You are good for me. You are … what is it astringent? That is what Papa likes in you. He does like you a great deal, you know.”
“As I shall be leaving here when you marry it doesn’t matter very much what he thinks of me, does it?”
“You will come with me, won’t you?”
“Until I have made my plans. But I can’t spend all my life in this sort of situation. You must realize that.”
“I have plans. When I’m married I’m going to get Chariot with me.”
“How?”
That’s for you to work out. “
I should have no idea how to begin. “
“Now you sound like Annette-Pas-Possible. Everything is possible … if you set about it in the right way. And one thing I’m going to do is have Chariot with me. I think of him all the time … well, almost all the time. How do I know what sort of people have him? Think of it… he will be growing up … talking …”
“Hardly yet.”
“He will be calling someone else Maman.* I could see she was working herself up into another fit of hysteria and this was exactly what I wanted to avoid. So I soothed her by making ridiculous plans as to how we should find Chariot. We would go to the inn where he had been taken from us; we would question people and find the trail which led to him.
This was the sort of game she so much enjoyed and we played it for a long time and went into such detail that she really thought it was possible and derived a great deal of comfort from our planning.
Yes, I could see that she needed me.
III
He looked magnificent standing there at the top of the staircase receiving his guests. Margot was beside him flushed and very attractive in her puce velvet. When he saw me his eyes kindled. His glance took in my gown. I had been right in thinking it would be very simple in comparison with others. What I had failed to realize was that its very simplicity made it conspicuous.
In my bedroom, I had looked, as I thought, quite beautiful. I had brushed my hair until it shone and it certainly was, as my mother would have said, my crowning glory. It made a frame about my face and I had dressed it high, padding it a little to make it stand up in accordance with the fashion, with one curl coming forward to hang over my shoulder. I knew I looked my best and Margot had insisted that I wear a tiny black patch-which she provided-at the side of my temple.