Yeah, I believed Raphael had changed some since I had first met him. But he hadn’t changed that much. He would never be the soul of compassion, nor would he ever be the good little soldier and follow orders—unless he agreed with them.
We would never know for sure whether Raphael had followed this particular order, kept this particular promise. Even if he did kill Cooper quickly before the fire, he would have done it in a way that the police wouldn’t be able to detect after the fact. If he’d broken Cooper’s neck, or done something else that left an obvious physical injury, then the police would have to start looking at possibilities other than a God’s Wrath attack, because God’s Wrath needed the demon’s host alive so the demon could die in the fire.
I shuddered and tried to make myself stop thinking about it. I had come close to being burned at the stake myself, and sometimes I just couldn’t help putting myself in other people’s shoes. I couldn’t imagine what kind of pain Cooper must have been in when—
Raphael swore to me that he would give Cooper a quick death. I can’t claim I trust Raphael in all things, but I believe his promise was sincere.
That made one of us. Then again, maybe killing Cooper first would have made Raphael’s task easier, more foolproof. If Cooper had been alive when the fire was set, then there was always the chance he might escape. When I thought about it that way, it gave me a little more hope. The risks involved with Raphael killing Cooper first might have been less than those involved in letting him die in the flames.
I wouldn’t believe Raphael had killed Cooper first because of compassion, or because of honor, or because he was following orders. I would believe he’d do it if he thought it expedient.
But the ugly truth was, there was nothing I could do about it now.
I was pretty damn pissed at Lugh, and I was glad he kept any further comments to himself. Regardless of how necessary Cooper’s death had been, regardless of whether Raphael had shown mercy or not, Lugh had lied to me. Perhaps not in words—after all, I didn’t think until this morning to ask what the hell he was doing with my body while he was busy seducing me—but a deception of that magnitude was as bad as a lie in my book.
I went into my office for a couple of hours in the early afternoon. I still had paperwork to file on my last exorcism, and I hoped dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s would get me out of my own head for a while.
The phone calls started coming in shortly after I stepped in the door. First was Barbie.
“Have you watched the news at all today?” she asked cautiously, without even bothering to say hello.
So much for coming to my office to escape. I should have left my cell phone at home. Or at least not answered it.
“The news about Cooper, you mean?” I asked, and my voice sounded tired to my own ears.
Barbie hesitated a long time. “Where are you?” she asked. “I think we need to talk, and I’d rather not do it on a cell phone.”
She had a point about the cell phone, but I didn’t want to get together and talk about it in person, either. In fact, I didn’t want to talk about it at all.
“We’ll talk later,” I told her. “I’m … not up to it right now, okay?”
Another long silence. “Just tell me one thing.”
I should have known better than to hope Barbie would let it go. She was kind of like me that way.
“Maybe,” I said, drawing the word out a bit, not trying to hide my discomfort.
“Saul has a theory. Do you think he’s right?”
The question almost made me smile. Barbie was really good at being cagey. Even if somehow signals got crossed and someone was overhearing our conversation, they would never in a million years guess what Barbie was asking me.
If Saul had a theory, it had to be that Raphael had something to do with Cooper’s death. Saul was even quicker to think ill of Raphael than I was.
“Can you keep him from doing a Godzilla impersonation if I say he’s right?”
“Damn,” she said, and she sounded as tired as I felt. “That’ll be tough to pull off. He’s already pretty testy, if you know what I mean.”
I grimaced. Yeah, I did. I doubted he was happy with any of us for letting Barbie get hurt, and for making her wait so long to take care of her injury. Not that we’d actually made her wait—she’d never have voluntarily left Cooper’s house when there was still a lot of shit left to hit the fan—but Saul wouldn’t see it that way.
“You’re the one who decided you wanted to date Bad Tempers ‘R’ Us,” I said, trying to sound funny. I think it came out more sour than funny. “Don’t let him do anything stupid.” What I expected petite little Barbie to do if the demon Saul decided he wanted to have a knockdown-drag-out with Daddy was beyond me. I just knew I didn’t want any part of it.
She sighed. “I’ll do my best.”
A male voice—Saul, no doubt—spoke in the background. Barbie must have put her hand over the receiver, because I couldn’t make out the words.
“I’ve got to go,” she said when she came back on, her voice tight with tension.
My conscience twinged a bit at leaving her to deal with Saul’s temper on her own, but since she’d volunteered for the job, I tried not to let it bother me.
“You gonna be all right?” I asked. So much for not letting it bother me.
She laughed a bit nervously. “I’ll be fine. It’s Saul’s security deposit I’m worried about.”
As if to punctuate that point, there was a loud crash in the background.
“I’ve got to go,” she said again, and this time she hung up without waiting for an answer.
fourteen
AFTER BARBIE, THERE WAS BRIAN. THIS TIME, I CHOSE not to answer. I didn’t want to talk to him about Cooper’s murder. Once upon a time, I’d have expected moral outrage from him. Now I wasn’t so sure. Would it bother me more if Brian was pissed at me for whatever role I may or may not have played in Cooper’s death, or if he took the demons’ side and agreed it was necessary? I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to find out until I absolutely had to.
After Brian was Andy. I almost answered that one. Andy had been so withdrawn that any attempt he made to reach out was a good thing. But in the end, I chickened out on that conversation, too. He wouldn’t jump up and down and yell, but he’d be … disappointed in me. Even though I hadn’t known what Raphael was going to do. Maybe he would start to wonder—as I was beginning to—whether I should have figured it out on my own and tried to do something about it. After all, I’d been so terribly puzzled over Raphael’s mercy. Why had I not come to the natural conclusion that he had something else up his sleeve?
The more I thought about it, the more naive I felt. I really should have known what Raphael was going to do. Yes, sometimes his mind works in ways that I don’t understand, but this shouldn’t have been hard to guess. But my subconscious sometimes does an amazing job of not letting me see what I don’t want to see.
Great. Now I was getting as broody as Andy. Probably a good thing I’d chosen not to take his call, as I suspected he’d have made me feel even worse.
The phone rang yet again. This time it was Adam. Adam I could bear to talk to—especially since I had some choice words for him. I might have been naive enough not to guess what Raphael was up to, and Barbie might not have known him well enough, but there was no way I’d believe Adam’s mind hadn’t traveled the same road.
I answered the phone, trying not to feel disloyal for having blown Brian and Andy off.
“Did you know?” I asked, skipping the pleasant greeting. I wasn’t feeling too pleasant, and Adam never bothered with pleasantries anyway.
Adam hesitated a beat before answering. “I didn’t know. But I can’t claim I was surprised. You can yell at me for not telling you later. I’ve found that address we were looking for.”