I’d been so busy building my anger against Raphael that I’d almost forgotten we’d gotten some useful information out of Cooper last night. Before Raphael went back and killed him.
I shook my head to try to clear it. Cooper’s was far from the first death I’d had a hand in since Lugh had come to town, and with the damn demons invading the Mortal Plain, I didn’t have time to wallow in it.
“Great. So are we going to be paying our friend a visit?”
“Seems like the thing to do. I’ll pick you up at your apartment around six.”
“So I’m going to have to yell at you in the car? Because don’t think I’m letting this drop.” It would be easier to have a good fight if he came up to my apartment. I didn’t want him crashing into anything while he was distracted.
“If that would make you happy, be my guest. But since I’ll have Raphael with me, I suspect you’ll have a more appealing target.”
“No,” I said, and it was almost a yell. “You are not bringing him with you. Period.”
Adam gave a long-suffering sigh. “Of course I’m bringing him with me. You know all the reasons why, so don’t make me repeat them on the phone.”
There were a lot of things I wanted to say—and most of them weren’t safe to say on the goddamn phone. “If you insist on bringing him with you, then you’re both going to come up to my apartment and we’re going to have a come-to-Jesus meeting before we set foot anywhere near our friend. Got it?” So far, we’d spoken to three people about the sudden influx of demons, and all three of them were dead. It was a streak I was anxious to put an end to ASAP.
Another of those long-suffering sighs. “I’ll see what I can do. But if Raphael doesn’t want to come up, I won’t be able to make him. You know that.”
“Tell him he’s coming up, or I’m not coming down.” If I hadn’t been pissed at Adam, too, I’d have felt bad for putting him in the middle. As it was, I hoped he was squirming. Not that I really thought I could make Adam uncomfortable.
“Fine. I’ll tell him. We’ll see you tonight.” Adam hung up without saying good-bye, as usual. The only person who hung up on me more often than Adam was Raphael. Which was why I didn’t even bother trying to call him and let him know what I thought of him.
I doubted Adam would have much trouble getting Raphael to come up to the apartment. Sometimes, I thought Raphael rather enjoyed locking horns with me, though only if he was winning. He might think he’d win tonight, but I had a fully charged Taser that said the odds were against him.
I left the office after talking to Adam. I’d done as much paperwork as I could stomach, and I was distracted enough to screw up anything else I tried to work on. I wasn’t anxious to get back to my apartment, where anyone who wanted me would find me, but I couldn’t see myself strolling around the city on this hot, muggy day.
When I got home, I had about three hours to kill before Adam and Raphael were due to arrive and make my day more … interesting. I thought I’d spend that time taking a nap, making up for some of the rest I’d lost thanks to Lugh’s visit. But once again, I’d forgotten Brian had a key—though in my defense, I would have expected him to be at work on a weekday afternoon. Apparently, he felt like he had better things to do today than earn a living, because I opened my apartment door to see him making himself at home in my living room.
He was still wearing the conservative business suit he’d worn to work, but the jacket and tie lay draped over the love seat, and he’d rolled the sleeves of his shirt almost to his elbows. Suits and long-sleeved dress shirts just weren’t made for ninety-plus-degree weather, but it was a rare law firm indeed that didn’t make its employees wear them.
Brian had also taken off his shoes and socks, propping his bare feet on my coffee table. I don’t actually eat on the coffee table, so I don’t know why I object to people putting their feet on it. But I do, and Brian knew that. I frowned at him.
“You’ve been hanging out with Raphael and Adam too long,” I said, though Brian didn’t exactly “hang out” with them. “You used to have better manners.”
Okay, so it was a rude way to greet my boyfriend, and the love of my life, but in the mood I was in, it was the best I could do.
Brian shook his head, but he sat up straight and put his feet on the floor, where they belonged. “Is that all you have to say to me?” he asked, and he sounded terribly disappointed in me.
This was so not what I needed right now. “I didn’t give you a key to my apartment so you could barge in here and yell at me whenever you felt like it.” I dropped my purse on the side table a little more forcefully than was necessary.
He gave me a look of pure innocence. “You consider this to be ‘yelling’ at you?” His voice, naturally, hadn’t risen an iota.
I pried off my sandals, leaving them by the door, but instead of going to the living room with Brian, I headed for the kitchen. My apartment was small enough, and had an open enough floor plan, that it was still possible to have a conversation. Unfortunately.
“I’m assuming the yelling’s going to come later,” I said over my shoulder. It was too hot for coffee, but that didn’t stop me from beginning the brewing ritual.
I heard Brian rise from the sofa and pad toward me, but I didn’t turn to look at him, my full attention on trying to separate one filter from the stack. In my peripheral vision, I saw him lean against what would have been a doorjamb, if my kitchen actually had a door.
“Why do you always assume the worst of me?” he asked. “I don’t know exactly what happened last night, but I know you too well to believe you were behind the murder. And even if I didn’t, I’m in no position to throw stones.”
The anger I’d been trying to build up seeped away, and my shoulders sagged. For all my life, I’d used anger as a shield against all of life’s unpleasantness. Before I’d started dating Brian, it had never occurred to me to want to change that. Anger was—for me, at least—much easier to deal with than pain, or fear, or even confusion.
I rubbed my suddenly gritty-feeling eyes and shoved the brew basket back into place in the coffeemaker. My self-defense instincts wanted me to grab the carafe and fill it at the sink, which would allow me to continue not looking at Brian. I fought those instincts off, slowly turning toward him as I crossed my arms. I realized as soon as I’d done it that crossing my arms was another defensive gesture, but decided I was allowed.
There was a shadow behind Brian’s eyes, one I couldn’t remember being there before. I knew what he was thinking about.
There had been a demon, known as Der Jäger, who had had the unusual ability to recognize and hunt other demons on the Mortal Plain. Due to circumstances beyond my control, Der Jäger had learned that I was still hosting Lugh. Lugh and I had fought Der Jäger and won, but we couldn’t afford to let him go back to the Demon Realm and tell Dougal who was hosting Lugh. It wouldn’t have mattered who had been hosting Der Jäger; I still wouldn’t have been happy with the idea of roasting a human being alive to kill the demon. But Der Jäger had taken my father—at least, the man who had raised me, even though he turned out not to be my biological father—as his host. I’d never gotten along with dear old Dad, but there was no way I was ruthless enough to kill him.
To make a long story short, Lugh had taken over, and Brian had helped him stage a fiery car accident for my father to die in. In Brian’s words, he’d had to choose between my father and me, and he’d chosen me. But no human being could make a decision like that without something inside them breaking, and Brian, with his Boy Scout ethics, was probably far more broken up about it than he’d ever let me see.
But he was letting me see it now. Letting me see the shadow of horror that haunted him. It made my chest and throat tight with pain.
Without thinking about it, I took the two steps I needed to close the distance between us and put my arms around him, pressing the side of my face against his chest. His arms wrapped around me, and he let out his breath in a long, shuddering sigh.