“I won’t be difficult,” I finally conceded.
Thank you.
I wasn’t sure he had much of anything to thank me for. Fighting over control would be unpleasant for me, not for him. But though I was tempted to pick a fight, I realized I didn’t have the energy for it. There was too much going on for me to waste my mental resources on pointless sparring.
Lugh let me stay in control until Adam, Dom, and Raphael arrived. As soon as I closed the door behind them, Lugh tapped politely on the barriers of my mind, and with a resigned sigh, I let him in.
“Will we be making the rendezvous with Dougal?” Raphael asked before Lugh even managed to turn around.
“Yes,” Lugh said shortly. “Let’s all take a seat, shall we?”
It was kind of scary that with only one full sentence and some body language, everyone knew it wasn’t me in the driver’s seat anymore. But it was obvious from the way they looked at me that they knew.
Adam, Dom, and Andy sat on the couch. Adam put his arm around Dom and pulled him closer, giving Andy a little extra breathing room. Apparently guys-straight ones, at least—get antsy when forced to sit too close together on a sofa. Raphael, in his usual lone-wolf style, sprawled on the love seat. Lugh remained standing.
There was a pregnant pause, and then Lugh launched into the same spiel he’d given me. He was a lot less apologetic-sounding when he explained to the guys. I guess apologizing wasn’t very kingly.
No one interrupted him, though it was easy to see from the expressions on their faces that they figured out where Lugh was going long before he got there.
“And so I need to meet with Dougal in Tommy’s body,” Lugh finally concluded, putting it into words, although I was sure he could see the comprehension in their eyes just as well as I could. “Which means someone else is going to have to host Raphael for a few hours.”
Dom’s face paled, and Adam’s arm tightened around his shoulders. Andy folded his arms across his chest and lowered his chin, refusing eye contact.
Raphael laughed, a brittle, bitter laugh. “Ah, what a joy it is to be welcomed with open arms.”
“Try not to make things worse, brother,” Lugh muttered, giving Raphael a scathing glance. His attention didn’t stay on Raphael for long. Andy wouldn’t meet his gaze, but Lugh spoke to him anyway. “I know how poorly you and my brother get along,” he said. “I would not ask you to host him again.”
Andy’s eyes closed, and his shoulders slumped as a long breath of relief hissed out of him. However, something akin to mutiny flashed in Adam’s eyes.
“You can’t ask Dom to do it!” he said. I suspect his hold on Dom was getting hard enough to hurt, but Dom seemed disinclined to complain. His breath was coming short, and his hands were clenching and unclenching in his lap.
“Yes, I can,” Lugh said with gentle insistence. “He is a member of my council.”
“He’s—” Adam started.
“He’s an adult,” Dom snapped, “and doesn’t need you to talk for him.” I’d never heard him speak to Adam so sharply before. It showed just how upset the idea of hosting Raphael made him.
Adam was rarely speechless, but he was now. He looked at Dom as if he’d never met him before. “You expect me to just sit here and not say anything?” he asked incredulously, and while he kept his arm around Dom’s shoulders, his hold visibly loosened.
“Don’t you two fight about it,” Raphael said. He’d lost the look of bitter amusement, his expression serious and devoid of malice as he stared at my brother. “It should be you, Andrew. Like it or not, you’ve dealt with me for a decade. You can handle a couple of hours more.”
Anger surged through me, and if I’d been in control of my body, I’d have had a few choice words for Raphael.
Andy shook his head in refusal, his attention fixed on the coffee table as if it were fascinating. “I can’t,” he whispered.
Raphael’s lips curled into a contemptuous sneer. “You can barely forgive yourself for letting me take Tommy, a total stranger and fucking lunatic. How are you going to live with yourself if you let me mind-rape Dominic?”
Dom cringed and pressed himself into Adam’s embrace. Andy gasped, finally looking up with horror in his eyes. And I started trying to fight my way to the surface, though what I thought I’d do to stop Raphael was anyone’s guess. Lugh remained firmly in control.
Do something! I thought at him frantically, but he shook his head slightly and didn’t move.
Andy’s eyes shimmered with tears as he met Raphael’s challenging stare. “You bastard,” Andy choked out.
Raphael shrugged. “I am what I am. And you are what you are.” He held out his hand, leaning across Adam and Dom to do so. “Now take my hand and let’s get this over with.”
“Damn you,” Andy said. And then, to my surprise, he reached out and clasped Raphael’s hand.
twenty-five
EVEN THOUGH THERE WASN’T ANY WAY TO FORCE Raphael out of my brother, I couldn’t help trying to fight my way to the surface, so angry I expected a red haze to cloud my vision. I felt Lugh wince as my efforts made his head hurt.
But then Lugh turned us toward Tommy Brewster, and I stopped fighting for control.
Tommy was slumped forward in his chair, his arm lying limply over Adam’s and Dom’s laps.
“He’s not breathing,” Adam said.
Lugh took a couple of strides forward. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, he told me, and I think he was only half joking. Then he touched the back of Tommy’s neck, and suddenly, for the first time in months, I was alone in my body.
It was so disorienting that my knees gave out, and I pitched forward, almost landing in Adam’s lap. Adam caught one of my arms, and Lugh, in Tommy’s body, caught the other, and they held me until I steadied. My head throbbed, and my stomach churned, but I tried to ignore them as I got my feet back under me.
As soon as I’d disentangled myself from Lugh and Adam, I stood up straight and glared at Raphael. If I hadn’t been afraid he’d let Andy feel it, I’d have slugged him. He blinked at me calmly, unaffected by my glare. He even smiled at me.
“Believe it or not, I’m doing Andrew a favor. I told you he likes to beat himself half to death with guilt. He’d have had a field day if—”
“You’re the one who laid the guilt trip on him, asshole!”
“Yes, I laid a guilt trip on him while he could still do something about it. If I hadn’t said anything, he would have allowed Lugh to ‘volunteer’ Dominic and would have drowned in guilt afterward. He needed a swift kick in the ass, and I gave it to him.”
Lugh made a grunting sound that could have been amusement or annoyance. “Even when you’re doing what is arguably the right thing,” Lugh said, “you manage to be cruel about it.”
Okay, that sounded more like annoyance.
Raphael shrugged. “If I’d tried to be nice about it, it wouldn’t have worked. I may not like Andrew, but I understand him.” He turned to me. “Honestly, Morgan. Hosting me for another couple of hours will do him no harm.” One corner of his mouth tipped up. “And since he took me voluntarily, it might remind him that, even if his shining armor is dented and rusty, he still has it.”
What could I possibly say to that? I couldn’t deny that Raphael knew Andy better than any of the rest of us did. I’d tried my own version of “tough love,” and it had been an abysmal failure. Raphael had been even more brutal, but he’d prompted Andy into doing something I would never in a million years have expected. Maybe he really did know what he was doing. Even so, I just didn’t have it in me to trust Raphael.
“Let’s talk about the meeting with Dougal, shall we?” Lugh asked.